I wait at the door for Charlotte and smile when I see her coming up the stairs. She looks good for her age, considering the fact that she hasn’t had the easiest life. I also know that before Eric came along she had a bit of a drinking problem. To my knowledge, she hasn’t relapsed. Finding out I’m dating someone else might change that. We’ll see.
“Hi, Char,” I say as she approaches.
“Hi, sweetie, you’re looking good,” she smiles.
“Thanks. Come on in. Lafayette made us a batch of his banana and Nutella crêpes,” I tell her as she enters the apartment.
“I can smell. It smells heavenly,” he chuckles. “How’s that grandbaby of mine treating you?”
“He’s good as long as he doesn’t get melon.” I close the door and lead her to the kitchen. “Thirsty? I have juice, milk, water, iced tea, coffee…”
“I’ll take some coffee if it’s no bother,” she says. “You’d never guess with the way he eats melon now, but Eric hated it too when he was in utero.”
“Really? That’s funny.” I get out a coffee filter and the coffee grounds from the pantry. “The smell of cherries makes the kid happy. This morning I discovered the little weirdo likes gasoline too.”
“Oh, that was a big one for me. Bleach too,” she chuckles.
“It’s so bizarre,” I laugh. “I went for a newspaper and I stood there like a weirdo for like five minutes just sniffing the air. People probably thought I was nuts.”
“I used to work with a girl that used to burn matches to smell the sulfur. I’m sure sniffing gasoline is nothing.”
“Good point,” I nod. I get the coffee started and then go to the fridge for the fruit I cut up this morning. “I invited Eric to join us but he decided to stay home. It sounded like he had company.”
“He should’ve come,” Charlotte sighs. “He needs to stop cattin’ around and focus on you and that baby.”
“Actually, I hope he did have company.” He seems to like that Holly girl. Good for him.
“Really? I thought you said you were hoping you guys could have a family? You know he’s crazy about you, right?”
“I know that there are too many ifs for our relationship to last more than a few weeks. We’re still going to be parents together but he’s seeing someone and I met someone in Seattle–”
“He is not seeing anyone and as for you with this guy in Seattle… If you think things with Eric aren’t going to last past a couple weeks, how is going to work with Mr. Seattle if he doesn’t decide to move to Chicago? You and my son are right together, Sookie. Hell, now is the time to see if it will work. You don’t have the baby yet to traumatize if it doesn’t work.”
“We’ve tried, Charlotte. It doesn’t last. We know what the issues are and things haven’t changed. There’s no point going there again if we know that nothing has changed. As for Bill, he knows about the baby and he’s okay with it. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I like him. He isn’t threatened by my ambition or the fact that I love my work. He makes me happy, which I’m sorry to say your son hasn’t done for a long time. It’s just better this way,” I say.
“I don’t agree. He’s made huge changes in how much he’s been at the bar. I guarantee if you think you’re going to be able to work so much once this baby is born you’re going to be in for a huge shock,” she tells me. “Do you love Eric?”
“Yes, I love him. Am I in love with him? No.” I don’t know if I am or not. Sometimes I think I am and I just want to distance myself from it.
“I can say with certainty he’s in love with you, Sookie. It’s worth it to give him another chance,” she sighs. “This baby is changing him in ways I never expected.”
“I got tired of waiting,” I shrug. “He waited until it looked like I was moving on to tell me he loves me. Maybe he does. Maybe he can’t stand losing to the point that he’ll say what he thinks I want to hear so I’ll give him another chance. Either way, the answer is no.”
She can call me stubborn like I’m sure Eric has a billion times but I’m tired of putting myself out there only to end up in the same place over and over. The definition of insanity is doing same thing over and over, expecting a different result. I’m over it.
“I think you’re wrong, but I’m not going to press the matter. You’ll see it for yourself,” she sighs. “Let’s get off of that subject; it’s just going to upset us both.”
“You’re still going to be a grandma. That hasn’t changed. I’m sure you’ll love the new girlfriend almost as much as me,” I wink and offer her the fruit.
“She’s never going to be his girlfriend,” she tells me. “I’ve met her. She’s a sweet girl, but until he stops loving you she doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Well I hope he’s happy with her.” I mean that. I don’t want him to be miserable.
When the coffee finishes brewing I get a mug down and fill it for Charlotte.
“You are a stubborn one,” she chuckles.
“Why, because I refuse to be a bitter, hypocritical twat?” I’m moving on. He should too. It’ll make both our lives easier.
“Because I’ve said twice that she isn’t his girlfriend and you keep implying that she is. You can think what you want, but the truth is Eric isn’t moving on. I just hope you don’t have to watch your baby hurt the way he is.”
I roll my eyes. Charlotte doesn’t know everything about her son. There are definitely things about him I know that she doesn’t, but I’m not going to bother arguing with her about this.
“Hungry?” I ask instead.
“I am,” she nods.
I pull on my oven mitts and go to the oven to get the crêpes. So far this breakfast is almost as disastrous as the last breakfast I hosted. I really wish I could get hammered on mimosas right now.
“You’re lucky you can drink,” I grumble when Maria pours herself a glass of white Zinfandel. Bitch.
“Uh oh,” she says. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Charlotte is in breakup denial. She thinks it’s a matter of time before Eric and I get back together,” I explain.
“Honestly, as off and on as you two have been we all kinda think that,” she admits.
“Maybe we will but the fact that she keeps pushing it? No.” I shake my head. “Her telling me we’re wasting our time with anyone else doesn’t fix what’s wrong, you know? But she’s not thinking about that and I’m not willing to pretend like it’s all easy fixes. If it was that easy we would have fixed it years ago.”
“I know,” Maria sighs. “Maybe spending time with other people will be good for you guys, you know, if it’s supposed to work out. Maybe this will open both of your eyes to the stuff that’s been going wrong and pushing you guys to change. If not, then maybe you really aren’t meant to be?”
“I think it’s more option two,” I say. It hurts to admit because I really thought that someday we’d get it right. I take a deep breath and try to blink back my tears, but it’s useless. If I can’t be a hot, emotional mess in front of my best friend, who can I be?
“Oh, honey.” Maria gets up to come around the table to hug me. “That reaction right there tells me maybe you guys just need to step back and have an honest talk. I hate seeing you hurt, Sookie.”
“Our talks always turn into fights.” I sniffle and reach for the towel on the island.
“Maybe you need a mediator,” she giggles. “You guys are going to have to get along with this baby coming. The fights are going to have to stop.”
“If we take being a couple off the table we get along great. We were fine before I found out I was pregnant. Then all of a sudden he turned into a fucking caveman. If it was up to him I’d be locked in a tower under SWAT surveillance,” I tell her.
“He wants you to be safe, you and the baby. I’m sure Alcide will act the same way when we have a baby.”
“Safe is calling me to make sure I got home okay. I’m just tired of all the bullshit. I’m tired of fighting with someone who doesn’t seem to care about what I want. I’m tired of trying to please someone who is content to keep taking, but fuck me for thinking I’ll get something in return. Thinking about him shouldn’t hurt me and it does. That’s why you’re getting married and I’m not. If you want to know the truth, I’d tell Russell to transfer me to Seattle if I wasn’t pregnant,” I confess.
Maria frowns and says, “Now, I’d have a problem with that. You can’t take my bestie away from me.”
“I wouldn’t take Alcide with me.”
“Not funny,” she snorts. “I have a feeling everything is going to work out how the fates decide. Whether that’s with Eric or not.”
“That’s always how it goes.” I have twenty-five weeks of this crying shit to look forward to. “Can we talk about something else? Like maybe your bachelorette party. Are you sure you don’t want a stripper?”
“Male strippers are greasy,” she cringes. “The boys are strip club hopping. I think that’s cliché. I’d say a regular night club but I’m too old for that shit. Okay, if you can find me one of the Magic Mike strippers we can talk.”
“Ha! If I could find one of them I’d be carrying someone else’s baby,” I laugh.
“So non-greasy strippers are out. Damnit, no wine tasting for the hell of it either. I’m outta ideas,” she laughs too.
“What about a party boat on Lake Geneva?” I suggest.
“As long as the motion of the water doesn’t upset the baby. The only puking allowed is from drinking too much.”
“I’ll test it when I get back to Seattle. Bill has a boat,” I smile.
“Ooooh, fancy,” she giggles. “So, tell me all about this Bill guy. That’s an old man name by the way.”
“He’s a little older but he’s not geriatric,” I laugh. “He’s smart, got a good sense of humor and the sex is really good.”
“Is it serious?”
“I don’t know yet. I like him a lot. I think he likes me. He’s pretty much Eric’s opposite in every way, which is exactly what I need right now.”
“Until you get bored with him,” she chuckles.
“Maybe it’s a sign that I’m finally growing up,” I counter. “Eric was the first guy I was ever really serious about in a grown up kind of way and it didn’t work. Just because we kept gravitating toward each other doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for us to keep putting ourselves through the wringer over and over again.”
There has to be a line in the sand somewhere, doesn’t there? I don’t think I’m crazy for saying enough is enough. Cheesy as it is, sometimes love just isn’t enough. I’ll always love him; I know that much. I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, especially with Butterball growing in my belly. A part of me is always going to care about Eric. That doesn’t mean I’m meant to be his girlfriend/wife/partner, whatever the hell you want to call me.
“Could be that you’re growing up,” she shrugs. “All I really care about right now is if you keep growing like that were just going to have to get you a whole new dress.”
Okay, this is an instance of baby hormones kicking my ass because normally I would laugh and tell her to fuck off. Instead, because my emotions are all fucked up, I burst into tears all over again. Like I need her calling me fat on top of everything else.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She comes over to hug me again. “All I meant was that the baby is getting so big. Not you.” She knows me well enough to know why I’m crying.
“Yeah sure. The way this kid is growing they won’t make a dress big enough for me. I’ll have to wear a stupid, blue construction tarp,” I say. I can see her trying to fight a smile. It’s crazy how there’s a rational level that knows I’m making a big deal over nothing, yet I can’t stop myself from bawling my eyes out. Uggggh… “Don’t ever get pregnant,” I blurt out.
“I will and when I’m growing one of Alcide’s enormous children I’ll freak out when I’ll have to buy a new dress to be in your wedding. That’s the trouble with loving giants,” she giggles as she rubs my back.
“I’m never getting married,” I sniffle. Fuck that mess. I can’t even get a guy to stick around long enough to get past all the great sex phase. Well, except for Eric but we see how that’s turned out. I can’t go through that again.
“You will and you’re going to be a beautiful bride with Butterball being a perfect little ring bearer or flower girl… I’m not helping, am I?”
“Not even a little bit.” I wish she was. At the moment, I almost resent her a little bit. I know it’ll pass and I’m not going to say anything about it, but she makes it look so easy. Meet a great guy, fall in love, live together, really have a life together and get married. Then have a family, raise the kids, get a puppy and someday chase the grandkids around. It doesn’t fall into place like that for a lot of people.
I know Maria wants me to be happy and I understand why she wants me to be happy with Eric. It’s not just for Butterball, although I know he/she is a part of that. I just don’t feel like I have it in me to be happy with him anymore. That’s hard to accept but it’s the way I feel. I probably should have let go of him years ago, but then I wouldn’t have this baby growing in me right now and that I do not regret. Not for a single second.
Sunday afternoon and I’m missing the shit out of Sookie. I don’t want to admit I want to spend the time with her, not just the baby but I’m pretty sure she sees right through me. So for the two days she’s been home I haven’t seen her. Holly was a good distraction yesterday, no more emotional musings from us, but that’s all she was. That’s all any of my girls are. As distraction from Sookie.
I’m in the kitchen, heating up left over breakfast tacos, when there’s a knock on the front door. Before I can go to answer it I hear the keys jiggle just before it opens. Sookie peeks her head in. She has a beautiful smile on her face.
“Uh, hey,” I say. “What’s up?” I talked to Mom and Sookie is convinced I’m dating Holly so I’m surprised she just walked in.
“I got my car this morning,” she says. “I thought you might want to take a look at it.”
“Of course I do,” I smile. “What did you get?” I grab a kitchen towel so I can wipe my hands.
“An Infiniti QX60 hybrid,” she answers. She’s practically bouncing, she’s so excited.
“Look at you being all green,” I chuckle. “Take me to the new beauty.” I want to hug her and kiss her hello like I normally do. I’m holding back, though.
Sookie leads me outside and there’s a dark green Infiniti parked around the corner from my apartment. It’s still all sparkly and shiny like it just rolled out of the showroom.
“I’m having remote start installed while I’m gone and I’m also adding a DVD theater package thing since I plan on having this car for a while. Dad’s going to pick it up from the dealership for me once it’s all installed,” she tells me and tosses the key my way so I can inspect the car.
“Smart girl.” I walk over to look through the inside. I press all the buttons I can find. I’m sure Butterball is going to be able to find them sooner or later. I pop the hood so I can inspect the engine. Since its brand new there shouldn’t be anything bad or noticeable like a used car. “Meets Papa Bear’s standards,” I smile as I close the hood. “You did great, Sook.”
“Thank you. Plus, I did my research and it’s one of the safest cars on the market. It has a five star safety rating, so if we’re ever in an accident, God forbid, we should be okay,” she says.
“Good. You know I’m over protective of my baby,” I chuckle. I walk up and ask, “May I?” I nod toward her belly like I did on the way home from the airport.
“Yeah, sure,” she nods.
I rest my hand on her belly, rubbing slowly. “Wanna come in for a bit?” I offer.
“Yeah, I can stay for a little while. Dad’s getting the ribs on the grill right now anyway,” she answers. “I brought two extra racks, so you’ll get one tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” I smile as we turn to head into the house. I close the door behind her and then go back to the kitchen. “Want a snack, or something to drink?”
“Sure. What do you have?”
“For snack I’m having leftover breakfast tacos and to drink I have juice, water, milk and tea.”
“Tacos sound good. So does juice, actually. Need some help?”
“If you want. If not, I got it,” I shrug. I reach into the cabinet to pull a glass for juice down. The breakfast tacos aren’t really leftover. Holly cut up and parboiled extra potatoes and wove a few more taco shells that are in the oven at the moment. I flip on the oven light to check and they’re just about done.
“You need the oven for tacos?”
“Breakfast tacos. I’m baking the bacon shells,” I grin. These things are amazing.
“Shit, is Butterball good with bacon?” I ask. “And yes, look.” I flip on the light again so she can bend down to look.
“Oh. My. God. I think I just came…” she mutters in awe.
“Hmm…” I trail off without making a comment about orgasms. I really, really want to. Sookie’s orgasm is fucking beautiful. “They’re pretty damn good. Holly introduced me to them.”
“Holly… the ungirlfriend?”
“Yes, Holly, my friend,” I reply.
“Gotcha,” she nods.
I shake my head and pour Sookie’s juice, handing it to her. “I’ve been spending more time in the kitchen. With Butterball coming I’m going to need to learn to cook something.”
“That’s good. Although I hear they’re on a liquid diet at first,” she teases.
“I’m well aware of that, ass,” I chuckle. I squat down so my face is belly level. “Mommy’s a jerk, kiddo. She gets the first shitstorm.” I kiss her belly without thinking.
“Hey! I have to carry around this little terror. You should be getting all the shitstorms,” she argues.
“How is he a terror? He’s not even kicking organs yet,” I chuckle. I give her one more kiss before I stand up again. The potatoes, peppers and onions are sitting at the back of the stove and I reach into the pan to grab one. I pop it in my mouth and then grab a second to offer Sookie.
She opens her mouth for me to feed her, and she moans when I do. So, so dangerous. I feel my cock twitch in my jeans, but will it to stay down.
“There’s more unless you want to wait for the bacon,” I offer quietly. Fuck. I want to pounce on her.
“I’ll wait,” she answers quietly. Sookie clears her throat and seems to shake herself out of a haze. “I’m uh… the bathroom. Yeah…” She scurries out of the kitchen to go to the bathroom instead.
At least I know we’re still feeling it. I take a deep breath and go to the sink to wash my hands. Once they’re dry I pull the bacon shells out of the oven. She’s still in the bathroom as I slather nacho cheese on small flour tortilla and place the bacon inside so it’ll be easy to hold without getting greasy. I hear the bathroom door open as I’m putting the potatoes in the shell.
“Eggs too?” I ask over my shoulder. It’s probably best I don’t look at her just yet.
“Yeah, thanks,” she answers.
I add the eggs and make a second one for her quickly. I hand them over and then go back to assemble my own. I know when she takes her first bite by the orgasmic noise that leaves her mouth.
“Good?” I finally turn around while taking a bite of my own.
“Holly is a fuckin’ genius,” she says with her mouth full.
“She is,” I agree. I take another bite and add, “She spoils the shit out of me too. I told her she’s going to make me fat if she keeps feeding me like this.” She’s been teaching me to cook too.
“That’s great, Eric. I’m glad things are good for you,” she says sincerely.
Things would be better if Sookie got her head out of her ass. At this point Holly is slowly taking Sookie’s place in my life, the friendship portion that is, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. She’s a great girl, but she’s not Sookie. That’s why none of these girls workout. I compare them to the gorgeous blonde standing a few feet from me and they never measure up.
“Thanks. They could be better.” I shove the last of my taco in my mouth.
“Because of me.”
I don’t acknowledge her comment. She knows how I feel and I’m trying really hard not to beg her to come back to me. I change the subject instead.
“How was dinner with Maria?” I ask.
“You mean before or after your kid hijacked my emotions and had me bawling for an hour?”
“Uh oh, I’m sorry,” I frown. I pat her belly lightly and say, “Stop making Mom cry, kid. She’s not so pretty when sh–”
“Shut up!” Sookie cuts me off with a laugh and a smack on the arm.
I laugh and squat down again. “I was kidding. She’s beautiful no matter what.” My eyes flick up to hers and I add, “I just don’t like knowing she’s upset. Stop upsetting her.” I kiss her small tummy and stand up again.
“We’ll see if that helps,” she says quietly. Sookie looks like she wants to say something else but she stuffs her mouth with more of the taco instead.
“Hopefully.” I lean against the counter, folding my arms over my chest. “Once Butterball is born I’m going to get his footprints tattooed over my heart.” It’s cheesy as fuck but ask me if I care.
“That’s cute. I like that,” she smiles. Sookie’s always loved my tattoos.
“Maybe I can finally talk you into more,” I chuckle. I have Sookie’s initials tattooed on my inner arm. I got them the first time we were together. I knew then I wanted to marry her one day but we broke up eight months later.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” she chuckles. “Maybe I’ll get the kid’s zodiac symbol tattooed on me somewhere. No promises.”
“I’ll start looking at ideas.” It’s what I do when I get bored at work. “Just in case.”
We go silent while we finish eating. I clean up the kitchen quickly as Sookie makes another trip to the bathroom. I don’t know how long she plans to stay but I don’t want her to go when she comes out. I’m still wiping down the counter when she returns.
“You keeping your car until you fly back?” I ask when she joins me in the kitchen.
“Ummm I’m not sure what you’re asking me.” Sookie looks confused.
“You’re getting stuff added to your new car. Are you dropping it off later today or tomorrow, or are you keeping it until you fly back to Seattle?” I still don’t want her to go back to fucking Seattle and fucking Bill.
“Oh! Uh, no, Maria is going to drop it off for me and Dad’s picking it up,” she explains.
“Cool. Do you want me to come to your appointment with you tomorrow? I don’t have to go in the room, but I like being at all of them.”
“You can if you want to. It’s not an ultrasound so it’ll probably be pretty boring. They’ll just measure me, maybe draw some blood…”
“I know. I want to be there. This baby is the most important thing to me now. My number one priority…” I trail off too, not really sure how to explain how I feel about Butterball.
“I know, Eric. I listen when you speak. I haven’t forgotten.”
“Do you want to pick me up?”
“Yeah, I can do that. The appointment is at–”
“Eleven,” I cut her off. “I listen, Sookie.”
“Right. Well, then I’ll see you tomorrow around ten. I should get back to Dad’s house.” It’s never going to work if she gets irritated when I say the same thing she just said. Instead of fighting I nod.
“I’ll be ready. I can walk you out.”
“Okay.” She picks up her car keys and heads for the front door. I keep a respectable distance away from her all the way to the car.
When we get to the door I open it for her. I reach down to rub Butterball. “Be good to Mommy, kid,” I say as I lean down a little closer. When I stand back up I kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” She gets in behind the wheel and pulls the door shut before starting the engine.
I take a step back to watch as she drives away. I don’t know what the fuck to do with this girl. I guess all I can do is follow along with her lead until this shit with Bill fizzles out. I’m pretty fuckin’ sure that’s never going to last.
I shake myself of those thoughts and he’s back into the house. I go into the room that’s going to be the nursery and start figuring out what the hell I’m going to do in here. I don’t want to do anything until we find out what we’re having. We keep calling it him, but we could be way wrong. I like to think I produce strong boys, but with my luck and womanizing ways it’s going to be a girl that I would absolutely murder for. I’m going to spoil the baby regardless, but if it is a she it’s going to be way worse. Especially if she has Sookie’s eyes.
I meet Sookie outside when she comes to pick me up in the morning. The drive is fairly quiet with a few pleasantries. I hate the awkward feeling between us. I feel like she gets mad at me for fucking breathing. So it’s easier to stay quiet.
When we get to the doctor’s office I remain quiet as we go in. She checks in up front and comes to take a seat next to me while we wait.
“At the appointment after this we’ll probably find out what we’re having, right?” I ask quietly.
“Probably, assuming Butterball cooperates and we can get a shot of it,” she says. “I don’t want to have an amniocentesis if I don’t have to.”
“This is my child, you know it’s predestined to be difficult,” I chuckle.
“Seriously.” Sookie finally cracks a smile.
“I’ve been working on that if you can’t tell,” I say, giving her shoulder a little nudge with my own.
“Well, shit, if it’s not obvious I’m doing a shitty job,” I sigh. “But yes, I have.” On Holly’s prompting I started taking a yoga class and meditation. It’s actually been working. I’m not going to tell Sookie that’s what I’m doing. It also doesn’t hurt watching the girls in the class bend the way they do.
“Sorry, I haven’t been paying attention,” she shrugs.
Of course she hasn’t.
“I think it’s working too. Have I fought you on anything once since you’ve been here?” Lord knows I’ve wanted to.
“No,” she answers.
“Before I argued everything,” I point out. She’s been so focused on hating me she hasn’t taken five minutes to notice the changes.
“Yeah, I know.”
I go silent. There’s no point in talking to her now. She’s all wrapped up with Bill which makes her hate me more. That’s not unusual when she’s seeing someone. I know we’ve been through a lot of shit but it hasn’t all been me. She’s not completely blameless like she wants to believe. She’s twice as stubborn as I ever was. I’ll start showing her with my actions that I’m not the same guy. I haven’t changed a hundred percent, but I’m getting a lot better.
We’re called back and I follow behind Sookie. She turns to glare at me when we discover she’s gained ten pounds since the last appointment. Whatever. She looks good to me and that baby is half hers. It’s not my fault it wants to eat fried food and sleep. We get to the room and her vitals are good. We’re left alone while we wait for Dr. Fant.
“Is everything okay?” I finally ask. She’s been quiet but I know I haven’t done anything to piss her off.
“You sure? You don’t seem okay.”
I don’t know what happened to us being friends. It’s like as soon as she met Bill a switch flipped and I became public enemy number one. I might just be reading too much into it but I don’t feel wrong.
I don’t comment anymore. Hell, I’m almost tempted to take the train home just to avoid pissing her off anymore. I breathe a sigh of relief when Dr. Fant walks in.
“Hello, Miss Stackhouse, how are you feeling?” she asks as she closes the door behind her.
“Bloated, weepy, fat, tired, greasy, horny…” Sookie rattles off.
I can help with at least one of those.
“That’s to be expected,” Dr. Fant chuckles. “Babies take a lot out of you. I would be lying if I said it only gets easier from here.”
“Oh I’m just waiting for gassy and swollen to show up.”
“Let’s hope you don’t get those until it’s just about over,” she says. “Are you getting much morning sickness?”
“No, I was only sick a handful of times,” Sookie answers.
“That’s good. At least you’re holding onto the nutrients. Believe me when I tell you you’d rather feel fat and tired over throwing up and on bed rest.” She snaps on some gloves.
“Yeah, I suppose I would.” Sookie shifts on the exam table and lays back.
We all stay pretty silent during the exam. I have my eyes on Sookie’s face. She says she feels all those things but I don’t see it. I see the beautiful girl that’s pregnant with my monstrous sized baby. As confirmed when Dr. Fant tells us so.
Maybe I am being a big baby myself. This is about us, but mostly it’s about the baby. I can be patient, for once, and see what plays out. If we aren’t meant to be then I have another gorgeous girl that I know is willing to be a part of my life. Ugh. I just have too many emotions swirling around. I need to take a step back to see what happens. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do something sweet for Sookie.
I know how she is about taking gifts so while she’s back in Seattle I’ll give Lafayette a gift card for a mani/pedi for her. Maybe that will make her feel a little better… Maybe not, but it’s a start, right? Either way, I’m going to try to make her life as easy as possible when it comes to me. That’s not something I’ve ever done before. Hopefully, that does a long way with how she looks at me. I’ve done some shitty things but I’m ready for a fresh start.