I’m waiting for my waffle at the fancy station in the hotel restaurant when Aude taps my shoulder. She looks like shit. There are bruises on her neck and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days.
“Jesus, what happened to you?” I ask with concern.
“Jonathan,” she replies. He was the guy she walked with in the wedding.
“Are you okay? That looks really painful.” One of these days she’s going to suffocate from choking during sex.
“No, I’m fine. I assume you disappeared with Eric?” she asks. She seems irritated about that.
“I did,” I admit. I’m not going to lie about it.
“And since I don’t see him, he left you in the middle of the night too?”
“I asked him to. I was tired.” I don’t bother saying that I asked him to leave before we spent the entire night fucking.
“Match made in fuckin heaven,” she mutters. “He’s been “tired” a lot lately. Nice that he wasn’t too tired for you.”
My waffle is ready so I eagerly take the plate.
“Look, Aude, I’m not trying to get in the middle of things. You say it’s more, but he says it’s not. I’ve seen you in relationships before and if you two were really a couple, you’d be together a hell of a lot more than you are right now.”
“Of course he says we’re not together. He wants to fuck you, so he’ll say anything to make that happen.” Says the girl that spent the night getting choked out by another guy… that she didn’t know.
“Why are you so hung up on him?” I ask as I pluck strawberries from a big silver bowl.
“I’m not hung up, he’s… he’s a really sweet guy and we’re so compatible,” she sighs. “I know he wants more with me, he has to. He’s just busy and I’m sure last night was a fluke.”
She’s officially delusional.
“What if he doesn’t?” I ask casually. Eric and I didn’t have a talk about where we are now as a potential couple, but I don’t think Aude is in his big picture.
“Then he needs to tell me, and mean it.”
“For what it’s worth, if he is leading you on, that’s not fair but you have a choice here too. You’re a brilliant publicist; you have a lot to offer. Why would you waste yourself on someone who can’t be straight with you?”
“I don’t feel like I’m wasting myself on him,” she pouts. “He just hasn’t figured it out yet.”
I want to pet her and tell her it’s never going to happen like she wants it to, but she needs to hear it from Eric, not me.
“So what about Paws O’Tool?” I reach for the whipped cream.
She seriously needs to wear a scarf or something. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was mugged or raped last night.
“He’s never going to work,” she shakes her head. “He made a weird noise when he came and he’s tiny.” She holds up her fingers to indicate how small. Poor girl.
“What kind of noise did he make?” I have to know out of sheer curiosity.
“A healthy mix of walrus and crow. I’ve never dried up during sex. That dried me up,” she chuckles.
“Wal– how… whaaaa… huh?” I laugh. “That’s as bad as JB calling himself Big Daddy.”
She makes the sounds… Oh god. That’s bad.
“As irritated as I was that Eric was with you, I was tempted to come find you two, but I felt contaminated.”
“Do you want me to be honest with you?” I grab a few bacon strips.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t come looking for us. It wouldn’t have ended well,” I tell her. Eric would have lost his shit.
“I know how things would’ve ended. I know more about him than you. I’m the one that’s spent the last two months with him.”
“And I wasn’t exactly a stranger to him before you met him, Aude,” I reply. “If you want my honest opinion, you’re wasting your time with him. He might be a great fuck but that’s all he’ll ever be.”
“I’ll let him tell me that,” she grumbles. “You don’t speak for him, and you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Suit yourself,” I shrug. I know I’m right but it’s going to be a tough wake-up call when she hears it from him.
I take my plate to a table and sit down to eat. A waiter brings me coffee and I pull out my phone to text a warning to Eric.
Me: One flew out of the cuckoo’s nest and hit every branch on the delusional tree.
Eric: Fuck me running. I’ve already gotten 6 fucking messages from her.
Me: Just 6? Brace yourself. I told her she’s wasting her time on you.
Eric: I’ve been telling her that for over a month. I keep telling her all it is fucking, but she’s not hearing that. Time to cut the fuckin bait.
Me: Good luck. After what Jonathan did last night I think she’s convinced herself you’re her soulmate and you just haven’t figured it out yet.
Eric: She’s fucking insane and has some weird ass obsession with my dick. She can fuckin’ choke on it for all I fuckin’ care after the last few messages.
Me: If she did it would just make her cum lol
Me: Busy today? If you need to hide your little friend I can think of somewhere below the border with room available 😉
Eric: Let me know when I can check in.
Eric: Can I use your oven?
Me: My ACTUAL oven or is that code I’m not getting?
Eric: Your actual oven. I have a small order of cupcakes and I’d rather not go to the bakery. She’d just find me there and try to suck me off while I told her I don’t want her.
Me: Bet you never thought you’d be complaining about too much head. I’ll be home in 2 hours.
Eric: Meet you there 🙂
I set my phone back in my purse to concentrate on my food. When I look up I see Aude glaring at me. I feel bad for her to some extent, but she’s not listening to what Eric’s saying. It sucks that he doesn’t return her affections but it’s time for her to move on.
“Fuck, it smells good in here,” I purr in Eric’s ear while he scoops batter into muffin pans. My apartment smells like chocolate cake. That’s never a bad thing.
“Better than those fuckin’ room freshener things and that fuckin’ apple candle,” he chuckles. “I can bake you a fuckin’ apple pie that would make your pussy wet.”
“I like that apple candle.” I pinch his sides.
“Get me eight apples and I can do way fuckin’ better,” he winks over his shoulder.
“Yeah but the candle has better staying power.” I reach around him and trail my fingertips back and forth over his lower abs.
“Mmm, just a little lower,” he purrs.
“If I go any lower you won’t finish your cupcakes,” I reply.
I let my fingers dip below his waistband but that’s as low as I go. Teasing him is fun.
“Happy now?” I whisper.
“Not as happy as I could be,” he answers.
He finishes scooping the cupcakes and pulls away from me to put them in the oven. He comes back and presses me against the counter. Eric reaches back and swipes some of the batter from the bowl. He offers me his finger, trailing chocolate batter along my lips.
“Well don’t just stand there, clean it up,” I wink.
He pulls his hand away and sucks his finger clean before licking the little bit of batter off my lips.
“We have seventeen minutes to play,” he smiles.
“Do you want to see how much of me you can paint?” I offer.
“Mmm, yeah, that works.” Eric’s hand slips down my side and he starts to lift my shirt.
I lift my arms for him so he can pull my shirt off, and he takes my bra with it. My arms aren’t even down before he lifts me onto the breakfast bar.
“Sit up or lie back?” I ask.
“Surprise me.” He starts tugging on my leggings to take them off too.
I lie back so I can lift my hips for him. He takes off my leggings and panties, dropping them on the floor. My legs part and he stands between my knees. Eric reaches over to grab the bowl of chocolate batter and swipes some out before drawing circles around my nipples with it.
“We’re definitely going to need a shower after this,” he chuckles as he leans over my body to lick the chocolate off.
“Mmm… good thing I’m not made of sugar,” I moan and hold my tits up for him.
“Could’ve fooled me.” He flicks his tongue over my nipple like he does to my clit. As he sucks and kisses I feel his fingers trailing down my stomach, painting more chocolate on me.
“This was a very good idea.” I squirm and giggle a little when he finds a ticklish spot on my side.
“Mmhmm,” he hums against my skin while he cleans up his mess.
Once he has all the batter licked off of my stomach he moves up to kiss me. I jerk a little when I feel his finger painting my clit.
“This is going to be my favorite spot to clean,” he whispers.
“Mine too,” I breathe. My legs move further apart and I watch Eric move down my torso one wet kiss at a time until he reaches my mound.
I watch him suck his fingers clean. He spreads my lower lips and starts to lap at my clit. His eyes close and he’s moaning against my pussy.
“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ delicious,” he moans and dips his tongue into my core before dragging up to my clit again, drawing my honey up through my folds.
I grab his hair to hold him where he is and Eric puts my legs over his shoulders. His tongue moves in quick circles, over and over. My back arches and my eyes squeeze shut.
“Fuuuuck,” I groan. “Eric, I want your cock.”
“Mmkay,” he hums against my clit. He kisses the little swollen nub before he stands up. He unzips his pants to whip his cock out and doesn’t waste any time pushing into me.
“Mmm… so good,” I moan. He pulls almost all the way out and then buries himself inside me. “So fuckin’ deep.”
The best thing about last night was there was no rushing. I like a good, hard fuck as much as the next girl, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Eric finds a nice rhythm, not too hard or too fast. His hips swivel as he enters and his thumb brushes my clit as he retreats. I’m going to cum so fucking hard.
So of course the buzzer sounds.
“I’m not stopping,” Eric pants. He glances back at the oven timer and adds, “I have eight more Goddamn minutes.”
I chuckle and pull his face to mine. He never breaks the rhythm of his hips… even when the buzzer goes off again, this time for longer.
“Do you want to get it?” he sighs.
My phone rings and by the tone I know exactly who it is. Aude selected it herself. ‘I Kissed A Girl’ of course.
“It’s Aude,” I reply and I swear I can feel Eric go soft inside me as his blood rushes to his face.
“I should fuckin’ fuck you against the fuckin’ buzzer so she can hear you fuckin’ scream my fuckin’ name,” he growls. He pulls out of me and says, “This isn’t fuckin’ finished. You can go see what the fuck she fuckin’ wants.”
I sit up as the buzzer buzzes again and cup his face to kiss him.
“I’ll be right back. Are you here, if she asks?” I don’t mind lying just this once but I’d prefer he just tell her once and for all that they’re done.
“Oh, I’m fuckin’ here alright. I might even leave my fuckin’ dick out so she knows she fuckin’ interrupted us.”
Eric kindly sets me on my feet and I grab a throw blanket off the couch to wrap it around me. I push the entry button at the intercom and head to the front door to let Aude in. She still looks like shit when she appears but now she’s got this crazy look in her eyes too.
“What are you doing here, Aude?” I ask as nicely as I can since she stole a great orgasm from me too.
“He’s here, isn’t he?” she growls. “I checked his house and the bakery and this is the last place I know to look.” She takes in my attire and pushes past me. “Eric!”
He comes out of the kitchen washing his hands.
“I was fuckin’ busy,” he says. “I sent your fuckin’ calls to fuckin’ voicemail for a fuckin’ reason.”
This is not going to end well.
“I can’t believe you’re here with her! After all the shit you said about her being a lying cunt–”
“I’m here hiding from your crazy ass,” he snaps. “I’d rather listen to Sookie lie than let you think you’re going to get anything more than a good fuck. Which I’m done doing, by the way. It looks like you found someone else to choke your ass. I’m done, Aude. This was never a Goddamn relationship. Fuck, I fuckin’ answered my phone balls deep in another chick to help you get the fuckin’ hint. I. Don’t. Want. You.”
What he says is harsh but it needs to be said.
Aude turns on me and says, “This is all your fault,” right before she slaps me hard.
Eric growls and grabs her around the neck, dragging her away from me.
“This is your fault for being a fuckin’ crazy bitch. If you lay your hands on her again, you won’t get off on it when I fuckin’ choke you.”
I stand there in shock, holding my rapidly swelling face. I taste blood so I’m pretty sure Aude split my lip. Eric throws her out of my apartment and deadbolts the door to keep her out.
“See and I assumed you’d be the one getting slapped,” I joke.
“Not funny,” he sighs as he goes to pull the cupcakes out. “Sorry she did that.”
“I’ll survive.” I get some ice from the dispenser in the freezer door and press it to my lip.
He leans against the counter across from me and folds his arms over his chest. “I did call you a lying cunt. It was the day you told me and I thought I was fine, but I was still fuckin’ livid. Aude showed up at bakery and talked to me while I was making a cake. She brought you up and I told her I didn’t want to talk about “the lying cunt”.”
“Eric, it’s okay. I brought it on myself by lying to you. I should have told you about Trey much sooner,” I admit. “It turns out he was married the whole time. He’s got three kids and a wife, and I didn’t know until I went down there to come clean about you. His very pregnant wife answered the door.”
“Wow…” He looks stunned. “That’s really fuckin’ shitty, I’m sorry. Now I don’t feel so bad for fucking you before.”
“His wrong doesn’t detract from what I did. At the time I believed I was in a good relationship and I cheated. That’s not okay and I won’t ever do it again,” I tell him.
“Good. I don’t like cheaters,” he tells me. He comes over to wrap his arms around me and asks, “So does this mean I can stay the night with you sometimes?”
“Maybe,” I smile up at him. “Are you talking about sleeping over or just fucking my brains out for an extended period of time?”
“Both,” he whispers and dips to kiss the side of my mouth that isn’t throbbing.
“And when you’re not sleeping here, will you be crawling into someone else’s bed?”
“If someone asks if you’re seeing someone…”
“You tell me how you want me to answer that. Are you going to take me on dates?” he grins.
“I’ll even wear panties like a lady when I do it,” I reply.
“Then if anyone asks if I’m seeing someone I’ll tell them I have this saucy little minx that curls my toes and makes my heart beat faster.”
“Would you like to go finish what we started in the shower?” I drop the blanket on the floor.
“Mmhmm, the cupcakes need to cool anyway… I still have frosting to make. We might want to hold off on the shower,” he chuckles.
“Then how about you put me back on the counter and we’ll pick up where we left off?” That was good stuff Aude ruined.
Eric lifts me onto the counter and strips his clothes off. His cock is beginning to thicken, but he’s not hard enough for sex. He has me lie back and he pushes two fingers into me to work me up again. I reach down and wrap my hand around his shaft. I stroke him slowly while his fingers pump in and out of me.
“Baby you’re making me so fuckin’ wet,” I moan.
“Mmm, I know,” he groans with his eyes on my pussy. He pulls his fingers out and says, “Put me where you want me.”
Without thinking twice I put him at my opening and rest his head inside me. “Deeper.”
He pulls my hips down as he thrusts forward, filling me completely in one thrust.
“Fuuuuck…” he moans.
“I really hate Aude right now.”
“But we have more than eight minutes now,” he smiles as he slides all the way out and then drives in again. “I can fuck you slow and deep for hours…”
“Fuck yeah,” he breathes as he slides in and out again.
He finds the same rhythm as before and when he gets close to cumming, he slows way down to draw it out. An hour passes before he finally finishes with a roar and by then I’m a panting, boneless mess. Hands down, this is the best sex I’ve ever had and now he’s mine alone.