When I get back to my room I immediately lie down again. If I stand too long I get dizzy, thus the reason I’m not working. Octavia is indeed a pretty awesome nurse.
As I wait for breakfast I start to think about the pretty little blonde that’s going to deliver it. I feel terrible for what her dick of an ex-boyfriend did. Once I discovered she’s actually decent I can totally see what he saw in her other than a great rack. She’s funny when she wants to be and the more time I spend with her, the prettier she gets.
As for the reason I’m here; my actual rehabilitation. I feel like I’m doing good, and then I went and did some dumb shit like sit up too quick to avoid Sookie seeing any type of cock twitch and all I’ve been able to think about, other than my favorite Ice Queen, for the last twelve hours is I wouldn’t be in this fucking pain if I had a line or three. They headache is still there, although mild, but it’s annoying as fuck. I have a fucking knot on my head than makes me look like a fucking Cyclops if my eyes are closed. It sucks. I guess I can talk about it in group. Concussion or not, I have to go. I’ve actually taken to group therapy, and individual therapy, a lot easier than I thought I would. It feels… freeing to get all the shit off my chest. I have an assignment to write my parents a letter explaining how I feel and to both forgive and ask them for their forgiveness. I’m not exactly ready for all that, so I’ll wait.
I’m about as comfy as I can get on this tiny, shitty bed when Sookie walks in. She doesn’t even do a courtesy knock which baffles me for some reason. I leave that alone though.
“I could kiss you,” I tell her as soon as I smell the bacon.
“You had your chance.”
“I don’t think that’s fair, I was on the verge of dying. I couldn’t even sit up,” I remind her.
“Poor baby.” Sookie sets my breakfast on the nightstand.
I pat the bed next to me. “Sit,” I tell her. “Just for a minute.”
She sits on the edge of the bed. “I’m not gonna feed you,” Sookie smirks.
I take her hand and say, “I don’t want you to feed me. I want to know how you’re doing…” She’s acting like nothing is wrong and that worries me. Less than an hour after she told me how perfect he is, Mr. Wonderful broke up with her. Her behavior is not normal.
“You mean Luke? I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. It’s easy to put it off to the side and focus on myself and not my broken relationship. I had a moment last night when I went to bed, but I’m not going to let this paralyze me,” she says.
I lift her hand to my lips to kiss the back of it. Her skin is soft, so are her lips for that matter.
“I know you have a counselor and shit, but I’m always here if you need to let it all out,” I tell her. “If you need a hug, too. I’m pretty good at those with these tentacles I call arms.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she smiles and leans over to get my plate. “You should eat before it gets cold. I wasn’t sure what you like and I didn’t think you’d want what I had.”
“What did you have?” I ask as I sit up.
“Scrambled egg whites with spinach, turkey bacon and fresh fruit salad,” she answers. “Oh and cinnamon raisin toast.”
“I should be eating that,” I smile. It would be so easy to grab the back of her head and finish the small kiss she started last night…
“That was a typical breakfast back when I was in training,” she tells me. “I forgot how hard it is to be disciplined with that kind of stuff.”
“I can eat that kind of shit with you if you want,” I offer. “Maybe having a partner will make it a little bit easier.”
“I can do it, it just takes some time to get back in the habit,” she shrugs. “But if you want to do it for you, go for it.”
“You’re incredibly beautiful, you know that?” I ask, as I take in every inch of her gorgeous face.
She snorts and says, “I think that concussion is fucking with your eyes.”
“Mmm, no, my eyes are just fine,” I smile.
“Then your blood sugar must be low. I’ll get out of here and let you eat without being distracted,” she says and stands up.
“No, stay,” I say, tugging her hand to try to pull her back down.
Sookie sits down again. “I’ll stay, but only if you eat.”
I nod and take the plate when she offers it to me. I finally take a look to see the scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, potatoes…
“Mmm, looks good,” I smile and take a bite of my bacon. Fuck, now I want to kiss her. I want to do a whole hell of a lot more, but kissing is a good start.
“I’m glad I chose the right stuff,” she says.
“Can you be on the lunch menu?” I ask as I take a bite of my eggs.
Her eyes go wide. “Excuse me?”
I’ll take that as a no.
“Calm down, Sookie, I’m teasing you. Isn’t that what I’ve done since the moment we met?” I chuckle. If she would’ve said yes, I certainly would’ve taken her up on it.
“Yeah,” she nods. “I need a cigarette.”
“Aww, and we haven’t even gotten to the good part,” I joke. “I’m better than I thought I was.”
“I’m not sure what the good part would be, but I doubt you’re as good as you think, Pretty Boy.”
“I’m pretty sure I am,” I smirk, “I’m just waiting for a green light and I can show you just how good.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
“Mmm, I’m not,” I say and take a bite of my potatoes. “If you can wait till I’m done eating I’ll go smoke with you.”
“I’ll go get you a wheelchair,” she snickers.
“You know I can move just fine. I’m only a little wobbly sometimes,” I snort.
“And I don’t want to get crushed if your giant ass goes down,” Sookie laughs.
“I promise to go down as gently as possible,” I wink.
“Eh, I’ll get Frey–”
“Stop threatening me with that crazy broad,” I laugh, tugging her close. Without even thinking, I move my hand to tickle her side.
Sookie slaps my hand away and says, “Eat your breakfast.”
“You’re no fun,” I chuckle and dive into my food.
Once I get started it only takes me a few minutes to completely clean my plate. I don’t know if Sookie normally watches me eat, but she seems shocked at how fast I wolf it down.
“Fuck, I could probably eat another plate of food,” I chuckle as I set the plate aside.
“I can get you more food if you want. I have to get to kitchen duty soon.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine,” I tell her. “Lunch is soon enough.”
I get up from my bed, grabbing my cigarettes on the way up.
“Join me for a smoke?” I offer. If we don’t get out of my room right now I’m going to pounce and I don’t want to scare her.
“Sure,” she nods and follows me out of the room.
I allow her to go first so I can watch her ass as she walks. I’m actually starting to like it more than Felicia’s which is pretty significant. Felicia might possibly have the best ass I’ve ever seen.
Sookie sits down on the steps leading down to the lawn. She lights a cigarette and tucks the lighter in her pack before exhaling. From my position above her I can tell she’s not wearing a bra… again.
“Do you own a bra?” I ask without thinking.
“Yes, but I don’t like them so I don’t wear them unless I have to,” Sookie answers.
“Just curious.” I’m perfectly fine with her not liking them. “You know it only makes me want to touch your tits that much more, right?”
“A deep breath makes you want to touch them,” she snorts.
“I think you underestimate the appeal of perfect, perky tits,” I chuckle. “I want to touch them, nuzzle them, suck on them… mmm…” I trail off imagining her bare tits. I can see enough to have an idea of what they’re going to look like when I finally get her naked.
“Careful, Sparkles, it’s not polite to point.” Her eyes dart to my crotch.
“Oh, you’d know if I was pointing, Ice Queen,” I purr.
“Don’t think so?” I ask, inching my shorts up my leg. “We can go back to my room and I can show you…”
“Shucks, I have dishes to wash,” she says drolly.
“It’s not going to take you all day,” I remind her.
“It’s a nice offer but I’m still not here for a hookup,” Sookie says.
“I didn’t offer a hookup. I offered to flash you… You’re more than welcome to show me those perfect tits too,” I smirk. “I’ll understand if you think you won’t be able to keep your hands off of me. I do have a pretty impressive too–”
“Eric, darling,” Freyda purrs from behind me.
I freeze and turn to look at her. She’s wrapped in head to toe black.
“Freyda,” I nod politely.
“Your head!” she gasps.
“Why did you not come to me for healing?”
“I don’t need a healing, Freyda,” I assure her. She’s explained in group exactly how she would heal someone… just no.
“You have a bump, my darling.” She reaches up to touch me.
I jump out of the way as quick as possible and end up stumbling, knocking the other side of my head on the wall
“Fuck!” I shout, rubbing the back of my head. I’m going to need a fucking helmet if I keep this up.
“Freyda, you’re not helping,” Sookie sighs.
“Please, just go,” I grumble, rubbing the back of my head.
“Fine,” she grumbles and stares Sookie down. Freyda mutters something in gibberish and then disappears.
“This fucking sucks. Now my head is going to be throbbing all the fucking way through,” I say. I don’t even know if that makes sense.
“Come on, Lumpy, I’ll take you back to Octavia,” Sookie says as she stands up.
When I straighten up I either hit my head harder than I thought or there’s something seriously fucking wrong. One second I’m standing, the next my eyes are opening and I’m looking up at Sookie.
Shit. He actually passed out.
“Hey, stay down. I’m going to go get Octavia. You might need to go to the emergency room,” I tell Eric.
“Huh?” He looks confused.
“Just stay there,” I tell him. I get up and go inside to page Octavia. I wait for her by the door and show her where Eric is outside.
“I’ve already called an ambulance,” she says. “How long was he out?”
“Only a minute but he hit his head against the brick before he went down,” I explain.
“Eric, we have to stop meeting like this,” Octavia says to him.
“Aww, but how else am I going to get such a pretty girl like you to take a second glance at me?” he flirts.
“I’m not into guys with head injuries,” she snorts.
“Damn, I’ll have to hurt something else next time.”
“Hopefully not while you’re in the emergency room,” she says.
“I don’t need to go to the emergency room. I just need a nap…”
“You’ve had two head injuries in the last twelve hours and you lost consciousness. You’re going to the hospital,” Octavia insists.
“I’m fine, Octavia, I’ve taken worse hits. I just need to keep my head away from hard surfaces.” Eric tries to sit up but Octavia holds him down.
“You’re going. Don’t move,” she says sternly.
“Eric, listen to her.”
He stays quiet. I can tell he doesn’t want to listen but he knows he doesn’t have a choice.
Paramedics arrive a short time later and get Eric loaded onto a gurney to wheel him out. His counselor, Quinn, appears.
“Do you want me to notify your parents?” Quinn asks Eric.
“I don’t know,” he shrugs.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Quinn replies.
“We’re ready to go here,” the medic says.
I take a step back to give them room to wheel Eric out.
“I guess I’ll see you later,” Eric says to me as he rolls past.
“I’ll pad the place for you,” I reply with a smile.
“Thanks. You’re a good friend,” he smiles back.
I wave as he’s wheeled away. His counselor follows him and Freyda tries to go along too which causes a whole new problem when she’s denied. Seriously, I don’t know why she’s not in a mental hospital.
The smell of smoke gets my attention and I turn to see Felicia standing there looking a little disheveled. Normally she’s pretty well put together.
“You okay?” I ask her as the crowd begins to thin out.
“I’m great,” she smiles.
“Good,” I reply. “Missed you at yoga today.”
“I was up really late so I slept in,” she says, taking another drag off of her cigarette.
“You know they don’t do bed checks, right?” she asks quietly.
“I noticed.” This place is pretty lax about a lot of things. It would probably be pretty easy to sneak drugs onto the property if you were clever about it.
“Ah,” she smiles knowingly. “I figured you two were already hooking up…”
“What? I’m not hooking up with anyone. Until last night I had a boyfriend,” I tell her.
“Hmm, in places like this that normally doesn’t matter,” she tells me. “I was up with Charles last night proving that point.”
“Really?” My nose crinkles. Nothing about that guy is attractive to me. He looks like a broke, balding Jack Sparrow.
“Mmhmm,” she hums.
“Decent,” she shrugs, “He’s a kinky little fucker.”
“I’m not sure I want to know,” I chuckle. Luke’s the only guy I’ve been with, and he’s not even the slightest bit kinky.
“Really? You don’t want to know what it would feel like to have your little buddy’s hands all over you, spanking you or wrapping one of those massive hands around your throat while he pounded into you from behind? Hell, I know I’ve thought about it.”
“Honestly, I haven’t thought about him at all in a sexual way,” I tell her. “I’m not interested in him like that. I’m just here to get clean so I can get the damn judge off my back.”
“I’m not so sure you aren’t interested. I’ve seen you two flirt,” she chuckles.
“That doesn’t mean I’m interested in him. I learned a long time ago that I get further in life when I flirt so now it just happens,” I shrug.
“Mmhmm.” She doesn’t believe me.
“As far as I’m concerned, Eric is a free agent. I don’t have any claim to him.”
“That’s what you think,” she says, “That boy follows you like a puppy dog.”
“I can’t control that,” I chuckle. “I’ve told him it’s not happening but he doesn’t listen.”
“He’s a man, men don’t listen to shit,” she laughs.
“I can’t control that either.”
Felicia shrugs as she finishes her cigarette. I follow her inside and I head to the kitchen to get started on my chores.
Eric still isn’t back after dinner so I grab a book and decide to go for a walk. There’s a nice spot up in the bluffs that overlooks the ocean. I don’t know if I’ll get any reading done, but I’ll have the option. After walking for a half hour or so, I take a seat on a swinging bench and look out at the water.
My house down in Laguna is a few blocks from the beach, but with where it is on the hill, I have a great view. I love that my house is a little backwards. It’s a two story house, but the first floor is kind of sticking out of the hillside. The bedrooms are down there while the kitchen, living room and dining room are upstairs. I actually have a yard because of the hill. I miss my house.
I need to call my neighbor to ask her to check on the house. Alcide is a nice guy and before I left for rehab, I gave him a key so if I needed him to send me something he’d be able to get it for me. I hid a stash of pills in the crawl space, but I don’t want them there when I get back. I’m doing too much work to go back to taking those pills all the time.
A million questions are running through my head about what happened with Luke. Who did he meet? When did he meet her? Was I too fucked up on pills to notice he was slipping away? Is this all my fault? How could he end our relationship in two sentences? Did he ever truly love me?
He was so many firsts for me. This is the sort of breakup I expect from a sixteen-year-old, not a grown man. I deserve better than a postcard, but if that’s how big of a coward he is then I’m better off.
Even so, it still hurts.
My eyes fill with angry tears because right about now I would love to feel the numbness a few pills would provide me. I’m not used to feeling much of anything and I don’t know how to deal with any of these emotions running through me. My instincts tell me to numb the pain any way I can. I can’t have pills but maybe there’s something else I can do that will work instead.
Just as I’m wiping up my tears, I hear footsteps behind me. Since I just want to be alone, I ignore whoever it is. The footsteps get closer until finally someone else sits down on the swing with me. A large hand reaches for mine and without looking his way, I know its Eric. I take a deep breath and sniffle.
“I think it’s my fault he left,” I whisper.
“I don’t agree with that,” he whispers back. “I think he’s a fucking coward.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not my fault he left,” I say as I wipe a tear from my eye. “If I wasn’t so fuckin’ selfish–”
Eric pulls me over to his side and wraps his arm around me. “You’re not selfish,” he whispers, kissing my head. “You were sick, Sookie. He used your weakness as an excuse to slip away without having to deal with the consequences.”
“Maybe this is karma kicking my ass for all the shitty things I did when I was all doped up,” I sniffle.
“Maybe, or maybe he’s just an epic fucking tool,” Eric says, squeezing me a little tighter.
“Or I’m just a bad person.” It’s entirely possible. “I had to have done something wrong. If I was doing things right he wouldn’t have left.”
Eric sighs and tilts my face up so I’m looking at him. “You could beat yourself up over this for months, but this is your time. Don’t let Luke fuck this up for you. He’s a fucking idiot for leaving you, especially in the way he did, but if you ask me, you’re better off. He sat there and watched you spiral out of control for years and did nothing to help you. He doesn’t deserve your tears, Sookie. He didn’t deserve you.”
“I want to get so fucked up right now,” I admit. “If I was at home, that’s exactly what I would do. I wouldn’t have to feel any of this.”
“I know the feeling,” he smiles as his face moves a little closer to mine. “How about…” He closes the gap, pressing his soft lips to mine.
It’s not pills, but it’s what I have to work with so I kiss him back. I don’t waste any time parting my lips for him so Eric can deepen the kiss. My hand moves up his neck into his hair, but I’m careful about touching him since he’s a little beat up.
After a minute or so, Eric tugs my leg to get me to move up and straddle his lap. One of his hands slips into the back of my hair and he gently tugs my hair, pulling my head back so he can start to trail soft kisses down my neck.
“You feel so good on me like this,” he whispers, licking the side of my neck. He begins to suck lightly just below my ear.
Oh God. It dawns on me that we don’t even have to get off this swing. I never see anyone over here. I can feel Eric getting hard under me and he growls when I put his hand on my breast. He’s been trying to grope my tits since the day he met me.
He slips his hand into the side of my dress to get to my bare breast and pushes it up as his head dips down. He doesn’t waste any time teasing me and his lips wrap around my nipple. He starts to gently suckle while his thumb rubs over the other nipple through my dress.
“Ohmygod,” I breathe. Why do I have to be wearing this dress right now?
“I want to rip this fucking thing off of you,” he growls.
“Me too,” I pant. I don’t even care if it doesn’t make sense. He seems to get what I mean though. Instead I push myself up to gather up my mile long skirt because I’m gonna need it out of the way. Eric never changed clothes so he still has thin track pants on. As he moves to my other nipple, I reach into his pants. Okay, so he wasn’t exaggerating. He’s huge. It’s been… shit, the last time I remember having sex is Valentine’s day. That was four months ago.
“Sookie,” he growls, “Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish.”
“Are you clean?” I ask.
“Mmhmm, tested the day after I checked in,” he says. His hands move down to my ass and his lips go back to my neck.
“Then I intend to finish,” I tell him. “Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck no,” he growls.
I pull his erection from his pants and lift up again. Stupid panties are in the fucking way, but Eric is more than willing to help me fix that problem by pushing them out of the way.
“I’m on the shot,” I tell him.
“Good. I haven’t cum since I showed up and I plan on cumming very fucking hard inside of you,” he purrs, pulling my face to his for a deep kiss.
I moan into it and rub his swollen tip up and down my slit. Fuck, he’s definitely huge. Like he should have to carry a permit for this thing. I position him at my entrance and I have to break off the kiss as I slide down.
“Holy fuck…” I breathe. Luke wasn’t anywhere near Eric’s size.
He slides his hand around to the back of my head and starts to massage the base of my skull. “Take your time,” he whispers as he kisses along my jaw. “I know I’m too big for some…”
Yeah, I can see why. I do take my time, but when he’s buried in me, it feels fucking amazing. Way better than sitting here alone, crying my eyes out. My hips start to rock and Eric grabs my hips to help me move.
“Ohmygod,” I moan and my head falls back.
“Fuck… you’re fucking tight, Sookie,” he whispers, sucking on my nipple through the thin fabric of my dress.
“You’re only the second guy I’ve been with,” I admit. My walls flutter as the pressure builds quick in my belly.
“Mmm, you have no idea how fucking hot that is,” he breathes. Eric tilts my face up again to look into my eyes and he whispers, “I can feel how fucking close you are to cumming all over my dick, Sookie. Let me feel it… fall apart for me, beautiful.”
My hands move to his shoulders and I start to rise and fall over and over and over. I gasp and moan as I move, and when I know I’m right at the edge, I reach down to rub my clit. Sex was a disappointment to me at first because no one bothered to mention that just the intercourse part probably wouldn’t get me off. It wasn’t until I took matters into my own hands that it started to be good. Right now, it’s fucking amazing.
“Allow me,” Eric whispers, pushing my hand out of the way. He twists his hand so he’s able to rub my clit in quick, tight circles. When my orgasm gets closer he purrs, “Mmm, that’s it.”
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” I chant and bury my face in his neck when I explode. I don’t remember ever feeling this good. This high is way better than pills.
“That’s so good, sweet girl,” he whispers. He holds onto my hips again and helps me move up and down. “Are you ready for it?” he pants, “Do you want me to fill this tight little pussy with my cum?”
“Yes,” I whimper and suck lightly on his skin.
“Oh fuck… Yes…” Eric tilts his head to give me better access to his neck. Suddenly his body jerks below me and I feel his hot release filling me. “So… Fuck…”
I groan and move my lips up his neck. My hips keep moving while the aftershocks ripple through me until my body goes limp.
“Wow,” I whisper.
“Mmm, if it wasn’t always like that you’re way fucking better off without that prick,” Eric says, kissing my cheek. He wraps his arms tight around my back to hold me close.