Chapter 12: Death Before Decaf


The grass was tall. I could smell the salty ocean air. My hair swirled in the breeze, tickling my face. I tilted my head up the sun bathed my face. It was exactly the kind of place Hadley and I used to talk about visiting. All of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. My eyes opened and I reached for my neck, trying to claw away whatever was wrapped around my throat. It just kept getting tighter and tighter. The more I struggled, the darker the world became.

“Take it, bitch. Tell me you fucking like it.” A deep voice I didn’t recognize growled in my ear. I felt panic fill me. My knees went weak and my body started to sag. All I wanted was to breathe.

“Pel… pelican,” I choked out before everything went black.

I sat bolt upright in bed and screamed. My arms and legs flailed around, trying to get away from whoever was strangling me in my sleep.

“Sookie?” Eric said sleepily, rubbing my arm.

My head whipped around toward the sound of his voice and I realized I wasn’t being choked to death on the beach. The panic was replaced by an overwhelming sadness and I burst into tears. I couldn’t breathe for another reason after that. No matter how much air I tried to suck in between sobs, it wasn’t enough.

He didn’t say anything or hold me too tightly. He scooted a little closer and rubbed his big hand up and down my side. I had no idea what set me off. It had been so long since the last time I had a nightmare. They were rarely fun, but they weren’t usually so violent. I never felt like I was being killed in my dreams before that moment. My heart was pounding and my head hurt… hell, my neck was even sore like I had actually been strangled.

It took what felt like hours to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” he whispered.

“I didn’t hit you or kick you, did I?” I knew I was flailing around. I’d kicked Bill once in my sleep and he wasn’t as understanding or patient.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not hurt,” he assured me. He reached up to run his fingers through my hair. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I sniffled. “Ever since Hadley disappeared I’ve been having nightmares once in a while. This one was so violent. I was on this beautiful beach and then I was being strangled. It was awful. I felt myself dying.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “You’re safe as long as you’re with me.” He kissed my forehead.

I took a few more deep breaths and reached up to rub my sore neck. It felt a little too hot. I scooted off the bed to go to the bathroom for some water. When I flipped on the light I looked in the mirror above the sink.

“Oh my god,” I gasped. Angry red scratches covered my neck. I must have done it in my sleep. A fresh wave of tears filled my eyes. I found a washcloth under the sink and dampened it with cool water, hoping it would soothe my skin. It was the worst nightmare I ever had.

Eric stepped into the bathroom. “Sookie… what the… what happened?” His expression was a mix of confusion, worry, and anger.

“I was trying to stop it from killing me,” I explained. “I had to get his hands off my throat. I was fighting so hard and he was killing me.”

He frowned as he stepped up behind me. He tilted my head to the side to inspect it.

“That must have been terrifying,” he said empathetically.

“It was.” I moved the washcloth away from my neck so he could see it.

Eric brought his hand up to run his thumb over the scratches. The look of anger and hurt was still clouding his face as stroked my neck.

“They’re not usually this bad.” I used the washcloth to wipe my face. Instead of putting it back on my neck I turned to hug Eric.

He hugged me back, rubbing his hands up and down my spine.

“Why do you think this one was so vivid?” He kissed my forehead.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had one in a while.”

“I’m sorry you’re having nightmares,” he whispered, hugging me a little tighter.

“I feel like… I feel like that wasn’t just a dream.” I looked up at him. “That one felt like I was supposed to be seeing something or I was being shown something. Like maybe…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to think my sister was dead. I knew dreams were how they communicated a lot of the time. Was it possible that was how I lost my sister?

“Like maybe you were reliving one of her moments?” he said, voicing my thoughts.

“It’s crazy, I know.”

“You’re a twin,” he pointed out. “From what I know about twins, that kind of stuff happens all the time. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re right to be worried, especially if it was so vivid.”

“I don’t want her to be dead,” I whispered. It was my worst fear. I couldn’t face it. Panic started to set in all over again. The air was sucked out of my lungs and the rest of the house.

Eric held me a little tighter, trying to calm me down.

“Shhh, don’t think like that,” he whispered, trying to soothe me.

I hated panic attacks. They felt like heart attacks every damn time. It was exhausting. Gran had gotten pretty good at talking me down, but Eric was still new. He didn’t know what to do, but he was doing the best he could. I appreciated that he wasn’t drop kicking me out the front door.

By the time I was able to get the world right side up again, I was completely zapped of energy. I leaned on Eric to get back to bed. Exhausted as I was, I was scared to go back to sleep in case it happened again. It was a vicious cycle.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” I told him.

“It’s fine.” He kissed my head. “Do you want me to get you some tea or coffee or hot chocolate?”

“No.” I scooted closer to him and instead of resting on him, I pulled him on top of me. I felt safe under him. “Will you just stay here a while?”

“Anything you need,” he whispered. He scooted down some and kissed my neck before he settled his weight on me. He was far enough down to rest his heavy head on my chest.

I didn’t know if having him there would keep me from floating away, but it was worth a try.

“The beach in my dream was beautiful. It was exactly the kind of place Hadley and I always said we wanted to go. The last time we went to the beach together was in Mexico. We stayed out all night on our last night there. We were on the beach for sunrise. Someone had a radio playing and we could hear mariachi music as the sun came up. We danced and laughed and I remember thinking how no matter how old we got or what happened in our lives, that was how I wanted to remember her. Young, happy, beautiful and so alive. God I miss her.” I wiped a year off the side of my face.

“She sounds like a great sister.” Eric’s hand gently rubbed over my ribs.

“She was.” I hated to think of her in the past tense. “I love everything about her. Flaws and all.”

“Is,” he corrected me. “Until you learn otherwise, the correct term should be present tense.” He tilted his head to look up at me. “And that’s why they call it unconditional love.”

“I always feel bad for everyone else in my life because I’m never going to love them like I love her,” I admitted.

“There’s nothing to feel bad about, Sookie. If she was in the next room and you suddenly fell in love with me, I’d always expect you to love her more,” he told me. “She’s your blood, Sookie. You shared a womb with her. I can’t imagine being that close to someone. If anyone in your life says any different they don’t deserve you.”

It was in that moment I knew he was The One. How I knew I didn’t know. It could have been the little speech or his patience or the way he made me feel when we walked down the street holding hands. Maybe it was something I didn’t even know yet, but I just knew I was laying in bed with Mr. Right.

I relaxed. No more panic. No more tears.

“I’m starting to think I don’t deserve you,” I whispered.

“I guarantee you it’s the other way around,” he chuckled quietly. Eric turned his head to kiss the inside of my breast.

“Let’s get back to sleep. In the morning we can go get breakfast somewhere around here,” I whispered.

He kissed my chest again before he settled on the girls. His hand rested on my side and he gently rubbed, trying to soothe me back to sleep. My eyes closed and my fingers played with his hair. We were quiet and I didn’t feel unsafe anymore. It was good. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.


“I need to know where Rasul got these mugs,” I said after taking a drink of the coffee Eric and I were sharing. It was a black mug that said ‘death before decaf’ on the side of it.

“I can get you one,” Eric told me. “I got him the set as a gag gift. He hates coffee. I think he’s broken.”

“Definitely broken,” I agreed. “Thank you again for not freaking out last night. I was planning on telling you about the nightmares. There’s just not a good time to bring it up.”

“When someone is having a panic attack I know the last thing I need to do is start losing my shit,” he said. He turned around and pointed to the light bruise on the back of his shoulder I hadn’t seen yet. “You’re going to need to kiss that to make it all better.”

I frowned. “I’m so sorry. Come here.”

He set his cup down and sauntered over to me.


I turned him around so I could lean over and kiss the bruise I’d caused him. I felt awful for hurting him, especially after he was so sweet about everything.

“Are you sure you want on this Hot Mess Express?” I kissed up to his neck. Mine was still a little mangled from me clawing at it.

“I’m sure.” Goosebumps sprang up across his neck and shoulders.

“You want to go get breakfast?” I probably shouldn’t have wrapped my legs around his hips.

“What are my other options?” His hands rubbed along my legs.

“Lunch?” I giggled.

“Anything else up your sleeve you can offer?”

“You mean my nightgown?” I nibbled on his ear.

“Mmhmm.” He took my hand and guided it down his stomach to his growing erection.

“Mmm… I think maybe you meant under your pants.” I moved my hand to reach into said pants to stroke his cock. “Now what could be under my nightgown that you would want to eat?”

“I’m sure I can find something…”

“I should probably get off this counter then.”

“Or you can lean back and spread your legs,” he suggested. He removed my hand before he turned around to face me.

I let my legs drop from around his waist and left them spread for him. To raise the stakes a little I tugged the neckline of my nightgown down so my tits were on display.

“You spoil me, Sookie.” He kissed my neck before moving down to suck each of my nipples. He pushed my legs apart and rubbed my folds, slipping his finger into my core. Eric kissed down my stomach, heading toward my mound. His eyes darted up to meet mine. He winked before his tongue flicked out to lick my clit. He added a second finger, pumping them in and out slowly. Eric licked my clit a few more times before he started to suckle slowly.

“I think you spoil me,” I said. I lifted my legs to rest my feet on the edge of the counter. I leaned back as much as I could and brought Eric’s free hand up to my right breast. He tugged on my nipple while his tongue flicked against my clit. “Oh god, that’s so good…”

He switched from flicking to lapping at my clit, rubbing over it with his flattened tongue. His fingers curled inside of me, gently massaging my g-spot. He latched onto my little numb. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue, but it had my body trembling in no time.

“Er… Eric… oh my god…” I grabbed onto his hair. My eyes rolled back as the orgasm started. It was a doozy.

He removed his fingers from my core. His mouth shifted down and his tongue was working it’s magic on my opening. He was lapping up all of my honey as his thumbs held my lower lips open.

I wasn’t expecting to laugh, but that was what happened. Eric didn’t really want me to pull his head up, but I did that too. He didn’t seem to mind when I pulled him in for a kiss and got a taste of myself on his lips and tongue. Again my legs wrapped around him. Before I knew it I was off the counter and being carried through the treehouse.

We ended up back in the bedroom. He fell forward so he was hovering over me on the bed.

“Put me where you need me,” he murmured into the kiss. His lips left mine so he could look down at his cock pointing directly at my opening.

I reached down to adjust him and moved a little closer to the edge of the bed so he could slide into me. I pushed and pulled his hips so he was fucking me slowly.

“Mmm… I can feel how wet I’m getting you, baby.”

“You feel like heaven, Sookie,” he purred. His hips swiveled as he rocked in and out. “Do you feel how hard you make me? That’s from your sweet, wet little cunt.”

“I feel it.” How could I not?

His back arched up so he could dip his head to lick my nipple. One of his hands disappeared between us and I felt his fingers rubbing over my clit. The slick sounds of his cock sliding in and out of me filled the room. He sat up on his knees after a moment. He lifted my ass up, changing the angle he was sliding into me.

“Look,” he commanded. “Watch me fill you, Lover.” His thumb continued to rub slow circles around my little nub.

I looked where we were joined. Eric slowly pushed into me. My feet flattened on the bed to help hold me up. He pulled out just as slow. His thick shaft was shiny with my honey.

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

“Faster, Eric,” I breathed.

Never one to disappoint, he moved faster. As his hips sped up, so did his thumb. His didn’t look up from his cock driving into me over and over.

“Are you going to cum for me, baby?” I panted.

“I’m going to cum so goddamn hard for you, Lover,” he growled.

“Do it baby. Claim me as yours,” I moaned.

His eyes darkened as the met mine. He grabbed onto my hips, lifting my ass a little more as his hips sped up, thrusting harder and faster. He moved my hand to my clit after a moment before he dug his fingers into my hips again.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he chanted. A light sheen of sweat covered his hard body. Possibly for the first and only time Eric came before me. He erupted, filling me with his release. His hips continued to jerk and rub against me.

“Mmm… feels so good, Eric,” I purred. He set me down and hovered over me. I looked up into his eyes and clenched my walls around him as I asked, “Whose pussy is this?”

“Mine,” he answered. He rocked deeper into me. “All fucking mine.”

“All yours,” I replied and stretched up to kiss him.

He kissed me back, dropping down on his elbows so he was caging me in. He never stopped thrusting as our tongues dueled.

Maybe, if we were lucky, we’d make it out of bed for lunch.

When the kiss broke, Eric pulled out and turned me over. He pulled my hips up and thrust in again from behind.

“Ohhh…” I moaned. I got to my hands and knees in front of him and began rocking back to meet his thrusts.

He slapped my ass, making my walls clench again. He settled his hands on my rear cheeks. His thumb moved down to gather my juices before he rubbed around my rear entrance. I didn’t mind him doing that. He had already made it clear there would be no ‘accidental’ butt sex happening. However, I wasn’t prepared to bring up the topic of him trying to prepare me for on purpose butt sex, so he could just keep rubbing my opening for the time being.

“I’m gonna cum, Eric,” I panted. He was rubbing the right spot with every thrust. I didn’t even have to play with my clit.

“Give it to me, Sookie,” he commanded. I felt another stinging slap on my ass.

I cried out and looked back at Eric as I came. He slowed down to savor the moment. I knew he wasn’t going to be cumming again anytime soon.

“Mmm… yes sir,” I purred.

He reached up to wrap his fingers in my hair. He pulled me up against his chest, holding me in place as he dropped his other hand to stroke my clit.

“Do you know how fucking good your pussy feels when you cum for me?” He tugged lightly on my clit.

I gasped and shook my head.

“You keep my dick hard, Sookie,” he breathed into my ear. “I crave your sweet little cunt.” His teeth skimmed over my shoulder.

The praise and vulgarity made me shiver. It was the right blend of filthy and romantic, in my opinion.

“Did you bring any of your toys?”

“Yes.” He swiveled on his next thrust.

“What did you bring?”

“My paddle, little Eric.” He thrust in a little harder. “The bullet and a set of cuffs…”

“Do you want to play?”

“You know I do. What does my good girl want?”

I decided that since the last experience wasn’t so bad, I was going to be brave and trust him again.

“The paddle,” I answered.

“Elbows and knees,” he told me. He pulled his cock out of me and climbed off the bed.

I leaned forward, sinking down to my elbows. He opened his suitcase and pulled out a black leather paddle with a red handle.

“Do you remember the rules?” he asked me as he rubbed his palm over the leather.

“You’ll check in with me. Green is good. Yellow is slow down. Red is stop. Pelican stops everything immediately,” I recited.

“Good girl,” he replied. “The paddle isn’t going to feel as good as the feather. I’ll start with light swats and gradually get harder until you’ve reached your comfort level.”

“Okay.” I tried not to tense up. If I did I was sure it would just hurt more.

“Relax.” He rubbed his hand over my ass. Eric rubbed up and down over my smooth skin, rubbing his thumb up through my folds every few passes. I felt his lips on my other cheek a few moments later before he sat up and I felt the soft leather of the paddle rubbing in place of his hand.

“Not too rough, okay?”

The paddle disappeared from my skin. A few seconds later I felt a light swat on my right cheek. I heard a quiet groan from Eric when it made contact.

“How was that?” His thumb rubbed around my clit.

“Okay.” I felt it, of course, but it didn’t really hurt.

“The next one is going to be harder,” he warned. He twisted his hand to push two fingers into me, pumping them in and out slowly.

“Mmm… I like the fingers,” I moaned. The paddle made contact again, that time causing a little sting. My pussy also gripped Eric’s fingers.

“Feels like you’re enjoying the paddle too,” he chuckled.

“Yes,” I agreed.

Eric made a noise but didn’t respond. His fingers curled, hitting that magic spot inside of me. I felt the paddle rub over the same spot he’d swatted twice. The third stroke was just a little harder.

“What color are you?” His thumb rubbed around my clit.

“Yellow.” I liked the second swat better. I wanted fun, not pain.

He set the paddle next to my leg. He removed his fingers just before I felt his tongue swirl around my opening. He spread my cheeks with his big palms as he licked and sucked.

This is definitely fun…

I supposed there was a balance to be learned. The type of relationships Eric had in the past never really appealed to me, but then I knew nothing about them. I was starting to understand why someone might be interested in going down that road, but I was also content to just let Eric go down on me if that’s what made him happy. What did I have to complain about?


7 thoughts on “Chapter 12: Death Before Decaf

  1. Lovely “breakfast” after a horrible middle of the night. Hopefully pelican being used in the dream doesn’t mean anything other than her mind using a safeword she is already familiar eith.


  2. Was wondering about her saying pelican in her dream, hoping it isn’t foreshadowing something bad.
    Good way to spend the morning after a nightmare though.


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