Chapter 23


The next morning I wake up to the sound of someone pounding on our door. Because my fake husband sleeps like the dead, I get out of bed and stagger to the door. I gasp when I look through the peephole.

“Alcide? What the fuck?” I throw the door open. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what the fuck am I doing here? I told him if he does anything stupid I’d kick his ass. I’m here to kick his ass,” Alcide growls.

“Marrying me is stupid?” I fold my arms and narrow my eyes.

“Marrying anyone is stupid. It’s way too fucking soon for you guys to get married.”

“Says who?” I challenge. It’s kinda fun messing with him.

“Says me, Sophie, Eric before you guys left. Too. Fucking. Soon,” he says.

My eyes get wide and I ask, “You and Eric talked about us getting married before we left?”

“A little,” he admits.


Eric couldn’t have been thinking about it, could he? We hadn’t even mentioned anything about it until we were on the road.

“And I told him not to even think about it. He told me he wasn’t, so what the fuck did you do to get him to marry you? You’re not pregnant are you?”

I laugh and say, “Definitely not. Just consider it a decision influenced by true love.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit, where is he? I need to find out what the fuck he was high on,” Alcide says, and pushes past me to get into the room.

“Oh calm down. Let me get him,” I say, but Alcide is charging around like a bull.

“Eric!” Alcide yells his name once he finds him asleep still. “Wake up, motherfucker,” he says and shakes Eric’s leg.

I stand back to let this play out because I don’t want to get punched on accident. I think Alcide is totally overreacting and I tell him so.

“What?” Eric grumbles and rolls onto his side. He’s still wearing his fake ring and it flashes when he reaches out searching for me.

“What the fuck did I say?” Alcide growls and punches Eric’s arm.

Eric shoots up when Alcide hits him and his own arm goes flying. He backhands Alcide in the chest.

“What. The. Fuck?” Eric says in a groggy voice. He isn’t awake enough to realize what’s happening.

“You fucking married the broad? Are you insane?”

“Hey!” I yell from behind him.

“I’m sure she’s great in the sack–“

Alcide is cut off when Eric’s fist flies and hits him in the chest again.

“You need to watch your fucking mouth,” Eric snarls. He gets up from the bed, forcing Alcide to take a step back. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are walking in here and talking shit about my girl, Alcide, but that stops right fucking now.”

“She’s not the problem, you bag of dicks. What the fuck were you thinking?” Alcide glares at him.

I step closer to them and wrap myself around Eric’s side to keep them from throwing anymore punches at each other. “Alcide, it’s…” I look up at Eric lovingly. “We just couldn’t resist fucking with you.”

“What?” Alcide asks like he didn’t understand me.

“We didn’t get married, Fuckwad,” Eric clarifies. “These are fake,” he says and holds up his ring finger.

“They look fucking real to me,” he says.

“It was a joke, Al,” I tell him. Now I know why Senior calls him numbnuts.

“Are you serious?” He looks from me to Eric.

“Yes. We love each other, but neither of us are ready to get married and I sure as hell wouldn’t marry her in quickie Vegas style.”

Al keeps looking back and forth for a few seconds.

“Do you really think we would get married without at least Eric’s parents here? Come on…” I smile at Al.

“You two are fucking assholes,” Alcide says. “Excuse me, Sookie, while I beat this shithead’s ass.”

“I think you should apologize to Sookie,” Eric says.

“What for? I meant what I said. She’s great, but you’d be a fucking idiot to get married this fast.”

“I don’t like the way you talked about her. Do you really think I would marry her for sex? And calling her a broad isn’t exactly gentlemanly, not that we would ever confuse you with a gentleman.”

“So you want me to apologize to you for insulting her,” Alcide says. He looks at me and asks, “Are you offended?”

“If I didn’t know you were just looking out for your brother I would be,” I answer. “But call me that again and Senior’s nickname for you will be a description.”

“Alcide, just apologize for being a dick regardless of if she’s offended or not,” Eric tells him.

“You assholes started this. I’m not apologizing for shit,” he says.

“Fine, I’ll just call your mom and let her know what her baby boy said about a lady,” Eric threatens.

“Go ahead,” he shrugs.

“I need coffee if you two are going to keep arguing,” I say and go to get a pot of coffee started.

Eric grabs his phone off the nightstand and I see him scrolling through his contacts.

“Last chance,” he says with his finger poised over the send key.

“Go ahead, mama’s boy.”

Eric shrugs and hits send. He keeps his eyes on Alcide when a big smile graces his handsome face. “Momma… Yeah… He’s standing in my hotel room… He lost his shit… Okay… Okay… Love you too, Mom.” He hangs up and tells Alcide, “My mom is happy to have new material to work with.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she is,” Alcide replies. “If you two fucktards are done being not funny, I’ll be going now.”

“Are you staying in town for a while or going home right away?”

“I’m going home,” he says as he turns toward the door.

“Alright, I’ll call you when we get home.”

I can tell he’s pissed now. We can only hope he’ll calm down by the time we get home.

“Yeah,” he says, but doesn’t say goodbye before he walks out.

“Well that went well,” I sigh.

“He’ll get over it,” Eric says and slips in the bathroom to go pee.

I climb back into bed and stretch out on my back. I wouldn’t have pegged Alcide for the moody type but I guess I should have known after Dawn.

“I was not ready to wake up,” Eric groans when he comes back to bed. “Do you want room service, or do you want to go out to eat?”

“Room service is fine.” I take off the faux wedding ring and set it on the nightstand.

“Here’s mine,” he says and hands me his ring. “I’ll grab the menu in a minute.”

“Take your time. I’m not really hungry yet.” I set his ring next to mine and then roll onto my side to face Eric.

“Wanna go back to sleep?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s only a little after seven,” I yawn.

“Jesus, really? I love that guy, but he’s insane waking us up that early on a vacation day, no matter what his reasons are.”

“He went about it all wrong but his heart was in the right place. You would do the same for him if you thought he was making a huge mistake,” I reason.

“True. And I hope you know it’s not marrying you he was upset with. He was just mad at the situation.”

“Oh I know. I busted his balls a little before he woke you up,” I smirk.

I get being a little upset by the joke we played on him, but was it really necessary for Alcide to get on a plane and come out here? Did he really think that was a good idea? Yeah, it would be fast if Eric and I got married here but Eric’s no dummy. Hell, if anything, he’s probably been extra cautious since Tara.

I’d like to think he trusts me enough to know I would never cheat on him. I feel like Eric is the one I’ve been looking for all these years. All of the awful dates, lukewarm relationships and shitty breakups have led me to him. I really can’t imagine finding anyone better than Eric and I would be crazy to throw away what we have on a stupid mistake.

So could I see myself really being Mrs. Eric Northman? Yes, I can, and I think it would be the smartest move I ever make. I can see us chasing a couple of kids around and Eric reading them bedtime stories with different voices for each character. We could buy a house with a big backyard and hopefully our kids will have my hand/eye coordination so we’re not rushing to the emergency room with broken bones needing casts or nasty gashes needing stitches. If our kids are like Eric I’m letting Sophie-Anne bubble wrap them as soon as they’re mobile.

I get so lost in my thoughts that I miss whatever Eric just said until he waves a big hand in front of my face to get my attention.

“Sook, you alright? I lost you there for a minute,” he says when I finally look at him.

“Yeah,” I laugh nervously. I shake my head to clear it and add, “I just wandered off in my thoughts. Sorry about that. What were you saying?”

“I was looking at the menu. Do you want pancakes, waffles, or French toast?”

“Oh, uh… waffles are good. See if I can get peanut butter with mine.”

“We’re paying thirty dollars for a waffle, they better grind fresh peanuts right in front of you,” he says and goes to make the call to room service.

Thirty bucks for a waffle is ridiculous.

“Fuck that, I better have an orgasm!” I laugh.

Eric smiles and says, “You know I would make that happen if I could.”

“I know you would. Breakfast would be the last thing on my mind,” I assure him.

“Oh yeah?” he grins, “You can’t think about food when my hands are on you?”

“Baby I can’t think about anything when your hands are on me.”

“That’s too bad,” he chuckles and then starts giving our order to the person on the phone.

“Why?” I ask when he hangs up. “What do you think about when I’m blowing you?”

“You would just laugh at me,” he says, shaking his head.

“Will not.” Now I really want to know.

“Alright, every time you blow me I’m suddenly transported back to being fifteen again and all I want to do is scream to the world that I’m getting a blowjob from a hot chick. I still can’t wrap my head around you willingly sucking any part of my body and then it transitions into porn and want to do and say all these dirty things, and then I’m right back to “oh my God this is happening’. That all happens within the first five seconds and then I start plotting how we’re going to fuck. If I want to draw it out I think about doing the laundry.”

I don’t laugh, but I do smile.

“You’re precious, Schmoopy.”

“Because you make me feel like I’m fifteen?”

“That too.”

“Sometimes after sex I can hear Akon singing ‘I Just Had Sex’. Have you heard that song?” he asks and moves to stretch out on the couch.

Okay now I’m laughing. Hysterically. Tears running down my cheeks and my ribs hurt.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” he chuckles.

I can’t even respond because I’m laughing so hard. He’s seriously adorable. It takes a minute for me to calm down and then I say, “Seriously, you’re the cutest.”

He just shrugs. “I didn’t necessarily plan on telling you how ridiculous my mind works.”

“It’s not ridiculous, it’s cute,” I insist.

“Good to know,” he smiles. “When you’re done laughing do you want to shower while we wait for food? I ordered good coffee too.”

“Not yet. I might go back to sleep after breakfast,” I tell him.

“Buttercup, you can’t spend your time in Vegas sleeping. You can sleep on the way home,” he tells me like I’m crazy for even thinking it.

“Well what do you want to do today?”

“We could do some more gift shopping and maybe see what shows are playing tonight. The pool is always an option.”

“Uhhh… the pool isn’t really an option for me right now,” I say. “But the other stuff sounds good.”

“I wasn’t sure on that, I just thought I’d throw it out there. I’m going to shower real quick.” He gets up from the couch and walks over to kiss me. He wraps me in a tight hug when the kiss breaks and rests his head on mine. “Sorry,” he whispers, “I just felt like a quick snuggle.”

“Never apologize for a quick snuggle.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he agrees and kisses me once more before he heads up to the bathroom.

I turn on my side and let myself doze off while Eric takes a shower. We have five days left on our trip and I just want to relax a little so hopefully Eric slows down some. He’s got the rest of the summer to keep himself busy. I’ve got a week and a half to enjoy myself before I have to go back to work.

♦ ♦ ♦

On our way out of the hotel we stop in the casino to try our luck again at the Craps table, and Eric has me blow on his dice for good luck. I don’t know where that superstition came from, but it seems to work. He gets on another good roll and we leave the table with another five hundred dollars to blow.

“Are you sure you want to quit?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I want to get out and get shit for my parents.”

“Okay. Lead the way.” I take his hand and follow him to go cash out.

Once Eric has his cash we leave the hotel and start walking the strip. It’s busy, but then it always seems to be. I have no idea where we’re going, but I follow his lead since Eric seems to know where he wants to go.

We end up going past the entrance of our hotel and we walk through a hallway that opens up into gift shops. “We can shop on our way to the gondolas, they’re back here,” he says as we walk through the hall.

“Oh, awesome. I completely forgot about the gondolas,” I admit.

“Me too until I just saw them on the sign back there,” he tells me.

We go into a little shop full of way overpriced merchandise and start browsing. There are some high end stores visible from the floor to ceiling glass storefront and despite the extra cash I have from the few games I’ve played, I’d rather save my money. It probably comes from having parents that struggled just to make ends meet when I was a kid. I learned early to budget myself and to think about things before I buy them.

Mom always put it like do I want to work X amount of hours to pay for Z, and it has stuck with me. Because of that I didn’t go nuts when I bought my condo. I make more money in a year than both of my parents combined, but I don’t really live like it. I have my few luxury things and I probably spend more on coffee than I should, but since I don’t have a ton of debt to pay down I can afford to do that.

Eric finds a vase for Alcide’s mom and then I see the Victoria’s Secret across the way. Well I guess I know where my extra cash is going. I rationalize that I’m down a pair of panties anyway thanks to our first night in Vegas.

“I’m going that way,” I point to the store when we walk out of the shop.

“Okay, want me to come with?”

“If you want but watching me pick out panties will probably be boring,” I manage to say with a straight face.


“Sookie,” I growl. “I better not go since there’s no way I can sneak you into the changing room and attack you.”

I’m don’t normally act like an oversexed teenager, but there’s something about having my girl in Vegas that makes me want to do very naughty things to her.

“Then I’ll go and meet up with you when I’m done. I’ll text you and find out where you are,” she offers.

“Okay.” I give her a quick kiss and watch as she walks away.

When I walk off I don’t really know what I’m looking for, so I just wander a while. I end up stopping by the gondolas, leaning against the railing near the water and watch the people milling around me. Of course my mind instantly goes to Sookie and the look on her face when she saw me arguing with Alcide. I want to know what she was thinking about when he was here this morning. I also want to know what the hell he was thinking. A phone call would’ve been more than enough. I get that he’s worried about me jumping the gun, but he reacted worse than my mother would’ve.

I also start thinking about taking that fake ring off this morning. If I’m being honest, I’m not so sure I wanted to take it off. The girl I’m getting to know on this trip is more than I expected her to be. She’s beautiful of course, but she’s funny, and feisty, and she gets my humor. I actually think she loves my humor which is not something I can say about previous girls. I have dated fun girls in the past, but something was always missing. With Sookie I feel it, I feel like I’ve been waiting for her for the last thirty years and now that I’ve found her I don’t ever want to let her go.

That’s it. The wishy-washy shit that’s been going on about asking her to move in is done. I want to ask her. I’ll ask her today. I don’t want her to think at the end of the trip that I’m just being all emo from being apart after almost three weeks together.

She’s the one.

I will marry this girl for real one day. I can already see our kids, that should’ve been the first clue. Sookie is my true Lady Luck, not just at the craps table, but in life. That day is still a while off though.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when my phone chimes.

Vajizzle: You like?

She sent me a picture of some barely there panties that I can’t wait to rip off of her.

Me: No, I love and I’ll pay for them since I plan on tearing them off of your body.

Vajizzle: That kind of defeats the purpose of me buying them.

Me: If I come to the store to rip them off of you I’ll be paying for them anyway. Get two pair, one for ripping, one for wearing.

We’ve won enough money to splurge a little.

Vajizzle: Color?

Me: Do you really have to ask? Red for ripping your choice for wearing.

Vajizzle: Consider it done. Be out soon 🙂

I don’t reply. I want to get her something she can keep with her to remind her of the trip. I go into a little gift shop and I start looking around. I know I don’t have a lot of time and when I’m looking around the keychains I see the perfect gift. I find tiny pieces of bread, one with peanut butter, the other with jelly and they have a little spoon and knife with them. It fits us perfectly. Sookie is definitely the peanut butter to my jelly, or the other way around.

I’m just completing my purchase when I see Sookie looking down at her phone as she walks past the shop. I let out a sharp whistle, making her head snap up. I grab my bag and meet her at the front of the store. I also bought my mother a Las Vegas Christmas ornament. When I was a kid we would get a new ornament on every trip so her Christmas tree is like a trip down memory lane now. I love it.

“Hey, Honey pot,” I smile when I reach her. I appreciate the size of the bag she has.

“Hi,” she smiles. “I may have bought a little extra.”

“I’ll be happy to watch you model them whenever you’re ready,” I smile back and kiss her head. “Where to now?”

“Wherever you want. I’ll mostly be browsing and avoiding the Louboutin store,” she says.

“Maybe we can hit up another table later and make some shoe money for you,” I suggest, waggling my eyebrows at her. I start leading us to the gondolas.

“I think I have enough fuck me shoes,” she snickers.

“You can never have enough fuck me shoes,” I say seriously. “Gondola time.”

“Then I guess we’ll try to make some shoe money and I’ll even let you pick the shoes,” she says.

I wink and we keep walking to the gondolas. When we get there we get on to the boat and the guy steering the boat starts singing. It’s a lot nicer than I would’ve expected. I have my arm around Sooke and she’s looking all over the place at all of the shops and the ceiling, which is gorgeous. I reach into the my bag and take out the keychains.

“Sookie,” I say quietly to get her attention.

“Yeah?” she answers without looking away from whatever she’s looking at.

“Baby, I have a question. You don’t have to answer me right now, but I want to get it out there,” I say and she looks over at me.

“Okay,” she nods.

I hand her the jelly key chain and say, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and… how would you feel about moving in together when Dawn leaves?”

She looks surprised for a few seconds and then she gives me the smile.

“Eric, I… yes. I don’t even have to think about it,” she says, and leans in to kiss me.

“What?” I say a little shocked that she said yes so fast. She kisses me again and I still have to shake myself a little before my face feels like it’s going to crack in half because my smile is so wide. “You said yes,” I whisper and nuzzle into her neck.

She giggles and says, “You were expecting me to say no?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think you would say yes without thinking about it.”

Sookie pulls back just a little to look me in my eyes and says, “When I wandered off mentally this morning I was thinking about the future and you’re in it for me. I can see all the things I dreamed of when I was a little girl and I know I could have all those things with you. Living together is the first step to making it happen.” Sookie looks at her keychain and smiles. “Plus you’re my peanut butter.”

I almost want to cry. Almost. Instead I do the manly thing and grab the back of her head to bring her lips to mine for a kiss. “I love you,” I whisper against her lips as we’re being serenaded by an non Italian singing Italian songs to us.

“I love you too,” she replies and kisses me back.


7 thoughts on “Chapter 23

  1. That has to be the craziest song Ever! And John McEnroe omg. Brilliant. And can completely understand Sookie losing the plot over it. This Eric is so very Adorabubble!

    And Awwwwwwwww. Peanut Butter.

    I’m speechless at the cuteness


  2. The man sure knows how to do romance. And to think Al thought he would even consider a quickie Vegas wedding! Talking of Al, over reacting much?


  3. Lol omg I haven’t heard that song before it’s the funniest thing I have seen in a long time and it just tops this chapter thanks for putting in the extras, pics and song on top of your great story’s the effort and care you guys put into these it’s just great thanks 😉 🙂


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