I just want to curl into a ball and die. Cramps are fucking killing me, but at least I know I’m not knocked up. I’ve been in a shit mood all day and I just want to go home, get in my fat pants and eat all the chocolate I can find. On my way home from work I stop at the store and get a pint of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a bag of Twix bars.
I’m thankful Dawn isn’t home because I’m not in the mood to deal with her. I go straight to my bedroom to put on my comfy pants and a baggy T-shirt, and then I go to the kitchen to get a spoon. While I’m channel surfing to see what’s on Lifetime, the buzzer sounds. If it’s Quinn, I’m calling the cops.
“Who is it?” I ask through the intercom.
“Schmoopy,” Eric says.
I push the button to let him in, even though it could be dangerous for him to be around me right now. I open the front door for him and go back to the couch to watch my movie and eat my ice cream.
When he comes in he closes the door behind him and drops his keys on the coffee table.
“Hey, you alright?” he asks and plops on the couch next to me.
“I’m in a shitty mood and I have cramps. If you want to run, now’s your chance,” I tell him. I know I’m a complete bitch and difficult to deal with during this time period, so I wouldn’t blame him if he wants to go.
“I’m fine. I missed you today,” he says and kisses my temple.
“I missed you too.” I stuff a mouthful of ice cream into my mouth and then set it aside to go get my candy since I left it in the kitchen.
When I come back Eric has my ice cream in his hands and my spoon in his mouth.
“This is delicious,” he mumbles around the spoon.
“Who said you could have some?” I glare at him.
“Um… I… It’s a whole quart. I highly doubt you’ll miss one bite,” he tells me and sets it back down on the table.
“It’s a pint,” I say as I snatch it up, “And that’s not the point. It’s mine and it’s rude to just take something without asking.”
I sit down at the other end of the couch and rip open the bag of candy so I can dip a Twix into the ice cream.
“Are you kidding me? Sookie, we share food all the time. Sorry I touched your precious pint.”
“You should be,” I grumble and take a bite of my candy.
“What the fuck? I’ll go buy you a fucking gallon of the shit. Will that make it better?” he growls.
“Yeah, then I’d be fucking perfect,” I growl right back. I can’t even look at him right now.
“You should’ve just told me to leave in the first place instead of bitching at me for eating a half fucking ounce of your fudge brownie shit,” he snaps and stands up, grabbing his keys.
“Or you could have called instead of just showing up here,” I argue as I get up and walk toward my bedroom so he won’t see me crying because my hormones are assholes and my uterus hates me. “I could have saved you the fucking trip!” I yell and slam the bedroom door.
I hear Eric roar in the other room and a loud, “I don’t need this shit!” just before I hear the front door slam.
Of course I end up face down on my bed, crying my eyes out because I know I yelled at him for no reason. We do share food all the time. Hell, we sort of built our relationship on it thanks to the vodka strawberries. So I flipped out for nothing and I don’t blame him for leaving.
I let myself cry it out and two hours, a Midol and a cup of ginger tea later, I finally call Eric to apologize for being such a big bitch for no reason.
“Hello?” he answers.
“Hi,” I say softly and my eyes well up again. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“Open your door,” he says calmly.
“What?” He has not been sitting outside my apartment for two hours. I get up and hurry to the door.
When I open the door he holds up a paper bag. “Your neighbors let me back in.”
I toss my phone aside and hug him tightly. He’s so stinking sweet.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him and I’m sure I’m soaking the front of his shirt with my stupid tears.
“I know,” he says and kisses the top of my head. “Next time I’ll know better,” he chuckles and I can feel his chest rumble.
“I think this makes us even for your mom,” I sniffle.
“It does, and the ice cream is melting,” he says and strokes my hair back as he looks down at me.
“Do you want to come in? I understand if you want to go this time.”
“Do you think you’re going to yell at me for anything?”
“I don’t know, but I seem to have moved on to the weepy portion of hell week,” I sniffle again and wipe my tears off my face.
“I’ll take my chances,” he smiles softly and kisses the tip of my nose.
“Then come on in. I promise not to yell at you for eating my ice cream this time,” I promise.
“It’s my ice cream, and I’m offering to share it with you,” he tells me. “And if we don’t eat it or freeze it, it’ll be a milkshake soon.”
“I think I’m ice creamed out for today. I ate the whole pint and six of those candy bars,” I inform him as he steps inside.
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he says and looks down at my ass before he takes the ice cream to the freezer. “Where are we hanging out?”
“I was in bed before I called you.”
“Then we’ll go back to bed. I assume my weepy girl needs snuggles?”
“That’s a safe assumption.”
Eric takes my hand and leads me back to my bedroom. He kicks off his shoes and then follows me into bed.
“I think that was our first fight,” he whispers when I snuggle into his chest.
“Yeah, it was.” Stupid, stupid fight.
“The good news is I still really like you. And you’ll have ice cream for your next fudge brownie ice cream craving.”
“Thank you,” I say and kiss his chin. “I’m really sorry I bitched at you for nothing. Like if I didn’t feel like there was guerilla warfare going on in my body, I’d be fucking your brains out right now.”
“I’m just happy you’re smiling at me, and not yelling at me. It takes a lot to piss me off, but you should know I don’t sit back and take shit from anyone.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I say, and rest my head on him again. The cramps suddenly get worse and I feel like I might hurl.
Eric rubs my back for me and kisses my head again. “Do you want me to stay the night? I was just planning on hanging out for a while, but I wouldn’t mind staying.”
“You can if you want, but you don’t have to,” I tell him.
“Okay. I’ll play it by ear. Do you want me to rub your back?” he offers.
“The way we are right now is just fine.” I drape my arm over him and close my eyes. I just want this week to be over.
“Okay, Sugar bear,” he whispers and kisses the top of my head. He goes quiet and continues to rub my back as we lie there.
I get super comfy, minus the stupid, evil cramps, and it doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep.
♦ ♦ ♦
Two days later is the Linkin Park concert so I go with Dawn for a mani/pedi to fill my free time and to stop myself from eating anymore chocolate. Plus we haven’t spent much time together lately between her work schedule and the amount of time I’ve been spending at Eric’s when she is home.
“Apparently you made an impression with Alcide because he asked about you last night,” I tell her. Eric and I met him for dinner.
“He made an impression on me too, probably not the same kind though,” she snorts. “Plus you know I rarely go back for seconds.”
“Yeah I told him your work schedule isn’t conducive to being in a relationship,” I say.
“Thanks. I hate doing my own dirty work. He seemed clingy. I didn’t even give him my number.”
“I’m not sure what to think of him,” I laugh.
“You’ve spent more time with him than I did. Plus I was so drunk I barely remember any actual conversation,” she shrugs. “How are things with Vanilla?”
“I yelled at him two days ago for eating a bite of my ice cream and he brought me more, so right now my hormones are in love with him,” I say with a smile.
“I would be offering him babies if he did that for me. He’s perfect.”
“Yeah, pretty much. Plus there were snuggles and he made me breakfast yesterday morning. Chocolate chip pancakes… from scratch.”
“My ovaries are trying to climb out of my body, begging that man to impregnate me,” she laughs. “He’s a mama’s boy isn’t he?”
“I don’t know if I’d say that, but he does have a good relationship with her.”
“And he’s pretty. I should’ve just given you chocolate. Damn.”
“Too late. No take backs,” I snicker.
She just pouts and watches the lady working on her toes.
“I assume the sex is good?” she asks after a couple minutes of silence.
“Oh it’s just the best I’ve ever had,” I say with a little smile, and restart the massager on the chair.
“He looks like he’s great. I think I’m actually jealous, especially since chocolate was so shitty.”
“He is. I am in serious like with him. He’s a first grade teacher, did I tell you that? And his kids adore him,” I tell her since I don’t think I did.
“That man is a teacher? I would go with fireman, or engineer or something. He’s just so… big. I bet the single moms are all over that.”
“I’ve heard a few stories, but I trust that he’s not messing around with any of them. His ex cheated and got knocked up with the guy’s kid, so I can’t see him cheating on me,” I tell her. “And his dad was a firefighter.”
“Does he have a brother that’s equally as sexy?”
“I don’t think so. He’s never mentioned a sibling.”
“That’s no fair,” she pouts.
“Dawn, you don’t have time for a boyfriend. You’re hardly ever here. Besides, you would get annoyed with a guy like Eric. He’s too… nice. He’s got his shit together and he’d treat you well. You hate guys like that,” I point out.
“Good point,” she laughs. “I think I’m just in need of good sex. I keep getting duds.”
“Well yeah because you pick guys based solely on looks and the prettier they are, the worse they are in bed,” I tell her. She has shitty taste in men.
“Based on that theory Eric should be terrible in bed,” she says arching an eyebrow.
“Okay, you have a point but he’s not just a pretty boy like the guys you go after.”
“Mmhmm,” she hums. “I think my problem is they’re usually drunk.”
“Yeah, but so are you,” I laugh.
“Let me pick the next one,” I suggest. “And don’t fuck him on the first date.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” she grins.
“Just try it. If you want a guy like Eric, you should probably get to know more about the guy than his chest hair pattern,” I snicker.
“I repeat, where’s the fun in that?” she says, then adds, “Fine, if you find a guy for me I promise not to sleep with him the night we meet.”
I smile and say, “Then I’ll set up a blind date for you.”
I already have an idea in mind. Hopefully it doesn’t piss off my boyfriend since it’s one of his friends.
Best. Show. Ever.
I have the best girlfriend ever. This is why I spoil her. She’s just… awesome. The fact that I didn’t even have to tell her how much I love Linkin Park, she paid attention and figured it out on her own, that’s part of the reason I like her so much.
“Can you believe this shit?” I ask Alcide. I’m still in shock over the backstage passes. “She’s unreal. What kind of girlfriend gives a guy backstage passes for his favorite band?” That’s marriage material.
“I admit, she’s pretty awesome,” Al says.
“You know she suggested I invite you. I would’ve taken her if she didn’t.”
“I know she’s got a better rack than me, but I’m still a better date,” he smirks. “And you didn’t have to put me up on your shoulders so I could see the stage.”
“You would have to put me up, you weigh more than me,” I tease. Alcide is a dick, but he is a good date and he makes me laugh. I missed having Sookie to kiss and snuggle though. “I think I’m going to keep this one. She’s so… she’s just good. And Mom likes her. Mom doesn’t like any girl I date.”
“Sophie likes her? How’d Sookie pull that shit off?” Al looks impressed. Mom’s got tons of patience for kids, but with adults it’s another story.
“She was just herself. She also made Mom coffee. It’s the only thing she can cook.”
“So there’s your tradeoff,” Al nods.
“I offered her cooking lessons. I don’t mind though, she makes up for it in other ways,” I smirk.
“Care to elaborate?”
“Nope,” I grin. Alcide doesn’t need to know about her fantastic oral skills.
“Yeah I know that look, you fucker. You had the same look after Daphne blew you sophomore year.”
“And she’s much better than Daphne.”
“A fucking Dustbuster is better than Daphne,” he snickers.
“Fine, she’s better than Amanda. I know you know how good she was,” I say. College was a good time for us.
“Shit, seriously? That girl is still in my top three.”
“Yep,” I say, popping the P. “Bottom line, Sookie is good. I didn’t expect to find someone so soon after Tara. Hell, I don’t even know how it happened. I just know she’s the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.”
“You’re not skipping off to buy a ring, are you?”
“No. I like her, I don’t love her yet. Believe me, she is marriage material, but if I get there with her it’s still a long way off,” I tell him. I know I’m almost in love with her, but after the shit with Tara I don’t want to get that serious with someone just yet. I know Sookie is nothing like Tara, and I hope I’m right in thinking she would never cheat on me.
“Definitely take your time,” Al advises.
As we get to the car my phone chimes and I take it out of my pocket. It’s a message from Vajizzle. I open it up and its a gorgeous picture of her cleavage showing her cranberry colored lace bra with matching fingernails. Alcide knows somethings up when I immediately start blushing. I don’t know why.
“Is it bad that I want to go see her when I drop you off?” I ask him as I start the car. I know we won’t be having sex, but I miss her.
“You’re totally in love with her, you asshole,” he chuckles.
“I am not,” I say and punch his arm. At least I don’t think I am.
“Uh huh.” Al clearly isn’t buying it.
“Whatever. At least I’m not still trying to get the number of a girl that clearly doesn’t want me.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m letting that one go. There are plenty of other girls out there. Like the one I went home with after you and Sookie left last night,” he smirks.
“Tell me about her. Did you at least get her number?”
“Yeah, I did. Her name’s Isabel and she’s a dental hygienist. She’s got a kid though.”
“That could be good for you. You already act like a five-year-old.”
“I do like my snacks and nap time,” he agrees. “Her little girl is three. Her ex-husband remarried two days after the divorce was final and he terminated his parental rights.”
“That’s shitty for the kid, and her. Did you call her today?” I ask. If Sookie hadn’t called me I would’ve called her.
“Yep. We’re meeting for lunch on Monday.”
“That’s good.” Alcide goes through women like he changes his underwear. I’m glad he found someone he’s willing to see during daylight hours. “Maybe we can double date.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. I guess it’ll depend on the kid. Her time is pretty limited because of that.”
“Well once she’s ready to bring the kid around you we can double date. In case you forget kids don’t bother me. They usually love me,” I remind him. Three is a good age.
“With that mug of yours I’m shocked they don’t run screaming the other way.” Dick.
“Fuck you, Chewbacca. I’m fucking pretty. Kids and women flock to me.”
“Kids don’t know any better and your mom doesn’t count,” he chuckles.
“Does your mom count?” I tease.
“My mom is a classy lady, so she’d be too polite to tell you the truth.”
“Alcide, she pinched my ass the last time I saw her. Real classy.” Mrs. Herveaux is like a second mom to me. I love her almost as much as my own mother.
“Yeah, she did that to Ras too. What’s your point?”
“She’s a cougar, Al… never mind,” I chuckle, shaking my head.
“Vic is staying with her right now. She said if he stinks up the house one more time she’s having him arrested for attempted murder.”
I laugh and ask, “Why in the hell would she take him in?”
“He’s her brother, numb nuts.”
“Which means she should know better.”
“I give it one more week before we have to chase him out of the house for her.”
“Has she thought about feeding him some gas-X or something? That’s sick,” I say, shaking my head.
“Slips it in his coffee every morning. The guys at the house are doing it too. He probably needs to see a specialist but the stubborn old bastard hates doctors.”
“If she needs help getting him out, you can call me. We can also stage an intervention.”
“Or Sandy could just give him that stupid dog back,” Al grumbles. “If I have to hear about that fucking dog one more time…”
“Wanna go steal him back right now? Mom said Sandy hates the dog anyway. I think it could be fun,” I say. Except my clumsy ass would get us caught.
“Nope, not my problem. I love the old man, but he was a dick to her for a long time.”
“The offer still stands.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
I pull into Alcide’s house a few minutes later and I decline when he invites me in. It’s late and I have to work in the morning, but that doesn’t stop me from texting Sookie.
Me: Are you still up, Sugar cakes?
Vajizzle: Only if you never call me that again.
Me: I’m still trying to find a name that fits. How do you feel about Boo Boo Bear?
Me: Dumpling or Jujube?
Me: Maybe Lambchop?
Vajizzle: Are you high?
Me: Maybe a little. The show was fucking amazing!
Vajizzle: Well then get your sexy ass over here and tell me about it.
Me: I just dropped Fuckwad off. I’ll be there soon, Honeysuckle.
Vajizzle: I’ll be waiting.
I toss my phone in the passenger seat and make the ten minute drive over to Sookie’s. I know Dawn is home so when I get to the front gate I text Sookie and she buzzes me up. I have an overnight bag, since I had a feeling I’d end up at Sookie’s tonight.
“Hi,” I say when she opens the front door for me.
“Hi. Did you have fun tonight?” she asks, and steps back to let me in.
“I did. The show was amazing and the band was tired, but cool when I met them. I really can’t believe it happened,” I tell her and give her a quick kiss.
“I’m happy you had fun, and I’m really happy I could give those tickets to someone who appreciates them.”
Sookie closes the door and follows me to her bedroom.
“Al had a good time too,” I tell her as I take my shoes off. “He met a girl last night that he has a lunch date with.”
“Good for him,” she smiles and closes the door. “Dawn wants me to set her up with someone.”
“Oh yeah? So you’re supposed to go out trolling for a dude for her? Do you need a wingman?” I ask, pulling my shirt off.
“Actually, I have someone in mind,” she says, and pulls her shirt off too.
“Who’s that?” I ask, stripping down to my boxers before I take my dress shirt out of my bag to hang up in her closet.
“I was thinking Rasul,” she says.
I arch an eyebrow. “Rasul?” I think for a minute and then say, “That might not be a bad idea. He’s nothing like Alcide.”
“I know,” Sookie smiles, and stretches out on the bed. “That’s his biggest selling point.”
“You got a picture I can show him? One where she has most of her clothes on,” I ask as I lay down next to her.
“I do, but I told her it would be a blind date.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Do you know when she’ll be free? Should it be a double date?” I fire off.
“I’ll get her schedule tomorrow and I’d say no to the double date. Dawn isn’t really into that.”
“Alright. Just thought I’d throw it out there. Maybe we can go out on a date this weekend,” I offer and lean down to kiss her forehead.
“It’s Coachella weekend,” she reminds me.
“Then I’ll take you to a show,” I joke. “Several actually.”
“Or you can just promise me lots of great sex.”
“Nah, I think we’ll go with mediocre sex, possibly even bad sex. You know, change it up a bit.”
She snorts and says, “Then I guess you’ll be jerking off a lot.”
“Believe me, I’m well acquainted with Rosie and her five sisters,” I laugh.
“I’m sure you are. Although with your coordination problems it’s kind of a miracle you haven’t hurt yourself.”
“I slipped in the shower once and grabbed my balls too hard. I didn’t jerk off for two months after that,” I admit.
Sookie covers her mouth to hide her laughter but I can see her chest jiggling.
“It’s okay, I laugh now. And you better not ever repeat that in front of Alcide. I would never hear the end of it,” I say sternly.
“I promise not to tell anyone,” she laughs, and scoots closer to me. “I’d give you a retroactive ball rub, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“Aww, you scared you’ll get too turned on during hell week?”
“I’m not worried about it. We can have a bunch of naughty sex this weekend,” I whisper and lean down to kiss her cheek.
“Shit, if we get creative enough we can fuck in the middle of a crowd and no one will notice.” I don’t know if we can do that, but it’s worth trying if she’s down.
“You’re into having sex in public?”
“Never tried it. It could be fun,” I shrug.
“Mmm… I’ll think about it,” she says. “But if all I’m getting is mediocre sex, I’m not sure it’s worth it.”
“If I promise you daily screaming orgasms?” I purr and rub her side.
“I’ll give it more careful consideration,” she smiles, and turns her head to kiss my neck.
“You know this will be a good test. We’ll get to see how well we travel together,” I remind her.
“Mmhmm…” Sookie hums between kisses.
“And we can see if I have a jealousy bone,” I say. I don’t normally get jealous, but I might be different with Sookie.
“I’ll be walking around in a bikini top and tiny shorts,” she informs me. “You’ll have a bone alright.”
“Indeed I will,” I agree and suck on her bottom lip.
Her fingers slip into my hair and she throws one of her legs over my hip to pull herself closer to me before she licks my bottom lip.
“You’re venturing into dangerous territory, little lady,” I growl.
“I just want to kiss my boyfriend,” she says, and presses little kisses along my bottom lip.
“And I love it when you kiss me. I just know I can’t kiss you where I would like,” I whisper and rub my hand up and down her hip.
“You can make up for lost time,” Sookie promises, and moves to my ear to nibble on it.
“Mmm… mmhmmm,” I groan and pull her body closer so she can feel me getting hard. My hand slides down to her ass and I capture her lips with mine for a soft kiss.
“Much better,” she whispers, and rubs her hips against mine.
I slide my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss. My hand ghosts up her back and then around to grab her tit.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” I whisper into her mouth and I begin to roll her onto her back.
“Just kiss me,” she whispers back.
I pull back and look down into her eyes before telling her, “I could kiss you forever, Sookie.” I dip back down and press my lips to hers without closing my eyes.
Her fingers play in my hair and her legs wrap around me as Sookie deepens the kiss this time. I can’t stop my hips from flexing and rubbing against hers. Our tongues are dueling and I’m growling. I want to devour every inch of this girl, and I will this weekend.
I have to pull back to breathe and calm down. This girl makes me feel like I’m fifteen again. When I look at her, her lips are bruised from kissing and her eyes are so blue they’re almost glowing. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s breathing heavily.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” I ask her and stroke her hair back.
She smiles and says, “You’re sweet.”
“No, I’m just stating a fact,” I say and dip to give her a lingering peck on the lips.
“You’re still sweet.”
As I look at her I have this nagging voice in my head, that sounds a lot like my mother, telling me this is it. Sookie is the one, but I squash those thoughts in favor of more making out. We eventually pass out around two a.m. which blows because my alarm is set for five-thirty.