I pushed the door open, going after Eric.
“Do. Not. Call. Him,” I growled. I knew I wasn’t intimidating, but I tried. When I caught up to him he had my phone in his hand held high above his head. Asshole knew I couldn’t reach.
“You left him in here as Drooly McGee?” Eric looked amused.
It was funny and I was an asshole too.
“I’m going to change it.” I jumped, trying to reach my phone. All I succeeded in doing was rubbing my tits on Eric’s chest. Not that he was complaining. “Give it back.”
“Rewarding me?” His eyebrow arched and he chest bumped me a little.
“No, I’m trying to get my phone and I’m too heavy to climb up your lanky ass.” I grabbed onto his arm to try to pull it down. He was unfairly strong.
“You could just use the magic word,” he suggested.
“Please? Or “I’ll flash my tits”?” I asked. It was a toss up with him.
“Hmmm… I didn’t know I had options. I’ll text Drooly and see what he thinks.”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed. “Can you please give me my phone back?” I needed to set a lock on it.
“You’re no fun.” He gave me my phone. “Maybe he’s perfect for you after all.”
“What makes you say that?” I immediately went into the settings to set a PIN code to lock it. Sadly, my first thought for a four digit PIN was 3742… Eric… fuck. Oh! That was a better one. 3825, F-U-C-K.
“Just an observation.”
I tossed my phone onto the table after confirming my new PIN and locking it.
“I’m plenty fun. I just don’t think it would be fun to tell him I offered to show you Betty and Wilma,” I shrugged.
“You’re plenty fun?” He chuckled. Then laughed.
“What? What’s fun to you?” Getting blowjobs in the bathroom from a girl that was most likely a hooker.
“If you’re not with me or at work, what do you do?” Eric challenged.
“Last night I went to the gym… I’m trying, damnit,” I sighed. “I wasn’t fun for a long time, but I want to be.”
“Uh huh.” He wasn’t convinced.
“What do you consider fun?” I asked again.
“Depends,” he shrugged. “Right now it would be seeing if you can cut glass.”
I was wet and Eric’s sister had the house at a frigid 52 degrees.
“I doubt I can.” I looked down and pulled my top out some so I could look down at my nipples. “No, they’re not glass cutting hard.”
“Too bad. That would be fun.”
“I’m sure your sister wouldn’t appreciate it,” I shrugged, putting my top back in its place, adjusting my tits in the process.
“You don’t know my sister. She might want to list you as a sideshow freak and be your manager,” he smirked.
“Do you have some glass?” His little baby nipples were solid too.
“Just the mirrors and windows.”
“You know if you want to see my tits all you have to do is ask, right?” He’d been hinting at it, but backed off each time I challenged it.
“You’ve made it clear. I wasn’t asking, though,” he said.
“I’m going to take a shower if that’s okay?” I said. I was frozen.
“You don’t need my permission,” he shrugged.
I nodded and moved past him to go into the bedroom. I went through my bag to get my pajamas out, along with my toiletries and toothbrush. I took everything into the bathroom with me and turned on the water. While it was warming up I brushed my teeth quickly before I stripped out of my bikini and hung it over the edge of the shower to dry. When I stepped into the shower I closed my eyes and let the hot water pour over me.
I dropped my head forward and tried pushing my stupid crush on the sexy asshole in the other room back. Part of me wanted him to see me naked. Maybe suddenly decided that I was beautiful and that he wanted something more than friendship with me. The logical part knew that was never going to happen. I was definitely stuck in the friendzone. It wasn’t the best place to be. It was better than nothing, right?
I grabbed the shampoo and lathered up my hands. I started to rub it in my hair with my eyes closed. I froze mid-scrub when I heard the bathroom door open. I was scared to open my eyes. The shower doors were clear glass, so unless they were fogged over whoever it was, and I knew it was Eric, was getting a front row view of my naked body.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked without opening my eyes. I hoped like hell he didn’t hear the quiver in my voice.
“Setting up your Tinder profile,” he deadpanned.
I put my head under the water to rinse the shampoo out.
“Not funny,” I replied. I was still scared to see if he could see me, or how much of me.
When I finally opened my eyes I saw that Eric had decided to come in to take a piss. He could see all of me. Thankfully he wasn’t looking.
“That couldn’t have waited until I was done?” I reached for the conditioner.
“What difference does it make, Miss I’ll-Show-You-My-Tits?”
“You’re not just seeing my tits, for one,” I replied. “For two, you made it clear you weren’t asking to see them.” Although he had.
“I’m still not.” He flushed the toilet and moved to the sink to wash his hands.
No, you’re just walking in and looking without asking.
I turned so my back was to the shower door as I applied the conditioner. If he wanted to look he could look at my ass. Not that it was attractive in any way.
I was still way too insecure to flaunt my naked body. A bikini, that covered most everything, was one thing. The full Monty was completely different. I guess we were even. I got to see him naked on accident, twice, he purposely saw me.
“Water’s nice if you want to come in,” I said over my shoulder, trying to hide my nerves and embarrassment. I wasn’t going to let it get to me that Eric was probably still looking at my naked body. I’d lost a few pounds, but nowhere near enough to feel good about my body, or be on his level. I knew there was no way he was attracted to what he was looking at.
“That’s probably not a good idea,” Eric answered before he left the bathroom. He closed the door on his way out.
Good. The last thing I needed was to have his naked body that close to mine. Somedays I had a hard enough time being as close as we were as friends. I wasn’t going to question why he couldn’t wait ten damn minutes to pee, though. Some questions were better left unanswered.
It took me another few minutes to finish my shower. I took my time drying off and putting on my pjs. I had a little nightly routine, putting on moisturizer and such. I even took a little time to blow dry my hair for the next day. There was nothing worse than going to bed with wet hair.
When I left the bathroom I was completely ready for bed so I went straight to the living room. Eric was stretched out on the couch taking up more room than any one person should’ve been allowed to. I wasn’t sure what he was watching, but I decided to sit on the opposite end.
“What are you watching?” I asked, curling my feet under my ass. I was trying to be nonchalant about him imposing on my shower time.
I had a feeling I was about to be called boring again.
“I’ve never seen it,” I commented. The look he gave me told me he wasn’t surprised.
“You are seriously missing out.”
“I don’t watch a lot of TV, honestly,” I shrugged.
“I don’t either but this is hilarious,” he told me.
It was better than being called boring. I wasn’t really sure what was going on on the show, but what I saw made me chuckle. I wasn’t a big belly laugher like some people. After a while I started yawning, even though I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to sleep in the strange house. At least I knew something familiar would be close.
“I think I’m going to go to bed,” I told him once the show was over. I was still a little weirded out by the whole naked thing.
“Okay. Goodnight,” he said casually. Either he hadn’t picked up on the feelings or he was ignoring them. I was fine with it either way.
I stood up and lightly smacked the bottom of his foot. “Goodnight.” I turned to leave the room. I was suddenly very happy he declined sleeping in the bed with me.
“By the way, you have a nice ass, Stackhouse,” he said.
Oh. My. God.
I was glad my hair was down so he didn’t see the blush creep up the back of my neck. My whole body was warm from the embarrassment.
“Thanks,” I squeaked. I walked briskly out of the room, gently closing the bedroom door behind me. I made sure the bed was turned down before I flipped off the light and climbed in.
It took me more than an hour but I eventually fell asleep. What I wasn’t counting on was the weight on my chest when I woke up with the sun.
What the fuck?
My eyes creaked open and I was faced with the top of a giant blonde head. Eric was a snorer… and a drooler. Gross.
“Eric,” I whispered, trying to push him off of me. Jesus fuck he was heavy. He wasn’t moving. My whisper was useless.
“Eric,” I said a little louder, shaking him. I had to pee.
“Ten more minutes.”
“You can have as many minutes as you want after I take a piss,” I told him quietly.
He growled but got off me, landing face down on the bed. The good news was all the awkward I was feeling the night before was gone. The bad news was that my shirt was drenched in drool. That had to go. On the way to the bathroom I stopped at my overnight bag and grabbed a new tank top. It was the one I planned on wearing home. I was sure Pam had a washer and dryer somewhere.
In the bathroom I quickly changed my shirt, not worrying about a bra since I was going to get right back into bed, and took a piss. I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and finger-combed my hair to get some of the naps out. It was presentable…
When I got back to the room I climbed back into the giant bed. Apparently Eric found his happy spot because within seconds he was nuzzling into my tits again.
“Comfortable?” I asked quietly, reaching up to lightly run my fingers through his hair. He’d already drooled on me, why argue it?
I stayed quiet, continuing to pet him. Eric seemed to like it. His head also seemed to get heavier after a few minutes, so I assumed he was asleep again. What I didn’t expect was the tall blonde woman walking into the room with an amused look on her face. I assumed it was his sister. Or so I hoped.
“Hello,” I greeted her. I wasn’t sure if she was used to her brother sleeping on tits or not so I didn’t bring it up. Not that I would… Yeah, it was awkward.
“You must be Sookie,” she smiled.
“I am,” I smiled back. “I apologize I’m not more… decent.” I wasn’t indecent, but I had a giant slobbering all over me.
“You have a 300 pound paperweight on you. It’s okay,” she said.
“231,” Eric grumbled.
“Close enough,” I chuckled, giving his head a little scratch. “I assume you’re Pam?”
“You assume right. Luna is making breakfast as we speak and you’re both invited, assuming Eric is done trying to nurse…”
“Are you done, Asshole?” I cooed.
“Awww… We have the same nickname for him. I like you,” Pam told me and then promptly kicked Eric’s leg. “Get up, Pigpen. Mom used to call him that.”
“Pam, if you’re here who’s guarding the gates of hell?” Eric asked.
They were a little worse than Jason and I. I liked Pam. A lot.
“I can be in two places at once. One of the many bonuses to being Satan’s mistress,” Pam answered, completely unfazed by Eric’s insult. “Now get up. Luna’s making blueberry oatmeal pancakes, egg white omelets and there’s a punch bowl full of fruit salad.”
I wasn’t quite sure who Luna was, but I liked her. I also liked that Pam had food that was on my new lifestyle change.
“Come on, your head weighs a ton anyway,” I told Eric. I refused to admit out loud that I liked his weight on me.
Eric grunted and wrapped himself around me a little tighter, making Pam roll her eyes.
“I’ll get the hose,” she said before walking out.
“I see you found a new pillow,” I chuckled, scratching his head again.
“Comfy,” he muttered.
“Something tells me your sister really will bring a hose in here, though,” I pointed out. She didn’t seem like a bluffer.
“No, she won’t fuck up the décor.” Eric got off me anyway, flopping onto his back, leaving his tattoo on display.
As bad as I wanted to reach over to touch it, I held back… At least for a moment. I reached over to run my fingertips over it. The last time I looked I was too drunk to really appreciate it.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked as I outlined the letters, making goosebumps raise on his soft skin.
“Pretty good… After I fell off the couch… Twice.”
I laughed at that. “I assume you used Betty and Wilma to soothe yourself?” I joked. I had to force myself to pull my hand back.
“Of course I did. You offered.” He stretched out more.
His body was long and lean. I refused to think about what it did to me. Eric would always be sex on a stick to me. I had to roll over and sit up to avoid pouncing on him. I did a little stretching of my own, keeping my back to him. Eric saw way too much of my body and nipples the night before. That didn’t stop me from getting up to grab my bra. Before I put it on I turned around and asked, “Do you want to give them a farewell… anything before I tuck them away?” For my size, my tits were surprisingly perky.
“Tomorrow I will,” he promised.
I didn’t know what to make of that so I turned back to him and put my bra on without taking my tank top off. I was a pro at bra maneuvers. I’d already brushed my teeth so I didn’t need to go back to the bathroom. I found my slippers already went into the living room to wait for Eric. As expected, Pam didn’t have breakfast waiting in the guest house for us.
When he joined me I had to hold in my groan. He was still only wearing his sleep pants. They hung low on his hips and showed way more than I needed to be staring at so early in the morning. I shook it off and followed him to the big house. Pam’s kitchen was ridiculous and damn near gave me an orgasm when I walked into it. Holy shit, I really did want to ask her to be my sugar mama.
“Smells good in here,” I smiled when we shuffled in. Eric wasn’t quite awake yet. He was cute.
“Luna is a fantastic cook,” Pam replied. “Coffee?”
Eric grunted and rubbed his eyes.
“Please,” I nodded. “I’m pretty much useless without it.”
Pam got each of us a large mug of coffee and set them down on the counter.
“Who wants eggs?” she asked.
“I’ll take some. I can help if–”
“You’ll do no such thing. Come on, we’ll go to the dining room. The fruit and a few other goodies are waiting,” Pam said, handing Eric his coffee. “How was the drive? Did Eric slam on his brakes the whole way up?”
“Surprisingly, no,” I giggled. “It helped that we didn’t have bad traffic. It was a nice drive; this is my first time here.”
“So I heard.” Pam led us to the dining room where Luna had a cart she was prepared to cook the eggs on. “I’m glad you could join us. You’re a much better choice than that whore Dawn.”
“She’s not a whore, Pam,” Eric sighed, but his sister just smiled.
For some reason the name was bugging me…
“What does Dawn look like?” I asked. It wasn’t likely, but the world was small…
“She’s got brown hair,” Eric said, like that would give me a complete mental picture. I wasn’t expecting Pam to whip out a cell phone to show me an actual picture.
My jaw dropped.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I growled. Eric’s new friend happened to be the same fucking whore Quinn had a picture of on his phone. Except she was naked and his dick was in her. Which of course earned Eric a pop on the back of the head like I was scolding a child.
“Ah! The fuck, Sookie?” He glared at me.
“That’s the same actual whore my ex cheated on me with. Ugh.” I made a sound of disgust. Pam was highly amused. “You got a free taste of what most men pay… twenties for.”
Eric stared at me and said, “It’s not my fault your ex couldn’t keep it in his pants. Don’t take it out on me.”
I was thoroughly disgusted with him, but he wasn’t my boyfriend. He never would be, so I technically didn’t have a reason to be mad.
“I’m just going to tease you till the end of days that you let a hooker blow you. Sorry about the pop in the head, it was a natural reaction and I’m sure you’ll deserve it for something eventually.”
“Hey, I didn’t know and I didn’t pay for it. Make fun of the pathetic shithead that did,” he said as he took a seat at the table.
“The only reason I didn’t beat him to a pulp was because I was still recovering,” I told him. He didn’t need to know Quinn was bigger than him, so that kinda kept me at bay too. He did get a sever slap in the face… and a knee to the balls.
“Have you ever considered he did you a favor?” Eric suggested. He added cream and sugar to his coffee.
“Oh, I know he did. It doesn’t mean it’s okay now.” I took the creamer from him to pour a little in my own coffee.
“I didn’t say it did.”
“How about we not talk about this.” All the conversation was going to do was piss me off all over again. It didn’t help that the current object of my desire fucked her face. I really, really hated that bitch.
“So when she calls later you want me to invite her to tag along, right? Sounds like you have some unfinished business with her,” he said.
“I’m surprised she’s not in jail,” Pam volunteered.
“Me or the hooker? Because if I see her I will be on my way to jail for assault,” I said.
“The hooker. I know she’s got more than two dozen arrests to her name for soliciting prostitution and she’s been banned from the strip because she can’t get it through her head that prostitution isn’t legal in city limits,” Pam replied.
“Sounds like a winner to me,” I chuckled, patting Eric on the back.
“She got fired from my husband’s brothel for theft.”
“She apparently thinks she’s going to get some money from your brother too,” I said. Men and their dicks. They were fuckin’ dumb when they got together.
Eric glared at me again.
“Eat some bacon, Sookie,” he said.
“Nope. I’m off the bacon,” I reminded him with a small smile, completely unfazed by his glare. Unfortunately, he was still sexy when he made that face.
“Eggs, Sookie?” Pam took a seat at the table as well.
“Yes, thank you,” I replied politely.
Luna nodded. “How do you like them?”
“Scrambled is fine,” I answered before taking a sip of my coffee.
“You know, I’m not hungry. I’m going to go for a run.” Eric got up to leave the room.
“Is he always such a pouty baby?” I asked Pam once he was gone. I wasn’t sure if he was mad at me or the fact that he almost fucked an actual whore.
“He’s not pouting, believe me.” Pam dished up some fruit for herself.
“I just feel kinda bad if I pissed him off. He didn’t have to invite me and here I am smacking him in the head.” I picked some of the strawberries and kiwi out. I wasn’t a huge melon fan.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend, too?”
“I went on one date with a guy. He’s not my boyfriend,” I answered. “He’s… nice.”
“He’s history.” Pam put a blackberry in her mouth.
“You described him like he’s your mailman,” Pam replied. “That’s not how any girl talks about someone she’s smitten with.”
“I’m still getting to know him,” I reasoned. I was far from smitten with Ben.
I stayed quiet on the matter. Truth was, he wasn’t Eric. As much as I kept telling myself all Eric and I would ever be is friends, I knew I wanted more. I also knew I couldn’t have more. So for the time being I would get to know Ben better and hopefully, one day like him more than I liked Eric.