Chapter 17


“Sook, let’s go!” Eric hollers from the garage.

“Keep your shorts on! I had to pee!” I yell back while washing my hands.

The car is packed and we’re ready hit the road. We’re spending a night in Napa to kick off our road trip and then tomorrow we continue on to San Francisco. We have a few definite stops planned on our drive down the coast. I’m sure there will be a few impromptu stops too. When I told my mom Eric and I are going to be spending two weeks in the car together she had a good laugh and wished me luck.

I think we’ll be fine.

“Okay, I’m ready,” I smile at him when I get to the garage.

We’re going in his Jeep Cherokee since my Nissan Maxima is okay for short trips but not for long distance drives. My boyfriend is too tall.

“You know, I was thinking about going commando so I could try to talk you into road head,” he says as his eyes travel up and down my body. “You look delicious and I can’t wait to see how crazy we make each other, if only because I’m excited about makeup sex. We haven’t actually done that yet.”

“I don’t want to fight just for makeup sex,” I tell him. “And if we’re fighting you can kiss road head goodbye.”

“Baby, I don’t want to fight either, I’m just being realistic. I promise to be on my best behavior though,” he grins and gives me a kiss. When we break apart he smacks my ass and says, “Now get this delectable ass in the car. I’m ready.”

“Yes, sir.” I give him a smack on the ass too, and then climb up into the passenger’s seat.

The drive to Napa should only take an hour or so if traffic cooperates with us. I brought my iPod with me since there’s some stuff I know Eric likes that I could live without. I’m not much for metal bands, but he likes them. He’s definitely the rock ‘n roll to my country.

“Can we stop for coffee on the way out?” I ask once he’s backing out of the garage.

“I already planned Starbucks as our first stop. Can we get a selfie in front of the store? My mom wants to make a scrapbook when we’re back and… anyway, I want us to get as many pictures as we can.”

He’s blushing.

“Of course we can. I love pictures. I have my good camera in the backseat so I’ll give you copies of all the pictures I take,” I promise.

“Awesome,” he grins. He’s practically bouncing in his seat. “This is going to be so fucking fun, Sugar cakes.”

“Where do you come up with all these names?” I chuckle. He has yet to settle on one.

“I don’t know. They just pop into my head. Do you have a favorite? That way I can stick to one. I’m leaning toward Honeysuckle and Baby doll. They feel good coming out of my mouth,” he tells me seriously.

“Either of them is fine with me,” I shrug. They’re both better than Schmoopy.

“We’ll see how it goes. I could come up with something even more awesome at any moment. It still bums me out that you won’t let me call you Vajizzle,” he laughs and we pull into the Starbucks lot.

“You can call me Vajizzle when I can call you Skin Flute,” I snicker.

He shrugs and says, “I let you call me Schmoopy, don’t I? That’s not a whole lot better.”

“Uh huh. Just try to picture the look on your mom’s face if I called you Skin Flute in front of her.”

“She would shake her head and make a crass comment. You’ve met the woman, do you really think she would care?”

“Your mom is a hot mess of contradictions,” I laugh.

“Preaching to the choir, sister,” he says and makes me stay put so he can come around to open my door for me.

Eric gets himself a kiss for opening my door for me, and we walk into the shop hand in hand. He gets his usual venti latte and I get mine iced. I think he secretly looks down on me a little for drinking my coffee cold, but it’s all a matter of preference. I don’t always drink it cold, just when it’s hot as hell outside. I get a cake pop too, and offer Eric a nibble as we walk back to the car.

“I’m good. I don’t do nibbles, you should’ve learned with the strawberries,” he says and turns the car on.

“Your loss,” I shrug, and finish the cake.

Eric backs out of the space and heads us toward the highway. He turns on the satellite radio in the car and I don’t know the song that’s playing, but his fingers start drumming against the steering wheel.

“So are you a big wine drinker?” I haven’t seen him yet with a glass of wine but he insisted we go wine tasting.

“Not a huge wine drinker, no. I know you like it though and Napa is beautiful. I want you to have the experience,” he says and reaches over to hold my hand.

“Well maybe I’ll learn something. I just go by what tastes good. I don’t really care about color or smell.” I really kind of think it’s pretentious to be honest. I feel like there are more important things to focus on than judging wines.

“Oh… well, maybe we… I’m sure you’ll like it. Again, it’s not necessarily the wine, it’s the experience. I want to do as much with you as possible and the food will be good,” he tells me.

“Eric, it’s fine. I’m excited to give it a try,” I assure him with a squeeze of his hand.

I reach forward and turn the radio down a little so I don’t have to shout in order for him to hear me.

“Okay, you’ll tell me if there’s something you just don’t want to do, right?”

“Of course,” I smile at him.

“Good. Communication is key,” he nods. “I think we have pretty amazing communication so far.”

“I think so too,” I agree. I haven’t felt the need to hold back much of anything, other than the standard stuff that happened with ex-boyfriends that I’m sure he doesn’t want to know anyway.

“How are you with car games? Usually if I’m not driving I pass out, so I didn’t play many as a kid. Alcide used to carry Sharpies so he could draw fake mustaches on me. My fucking parents let him too, assholes,” he chuckles.

I laugh and say, “I’m good with car games if I’m not reading. Usually I read if I’m not the driver.”

“Did you bring something to read? Once we get on the coast the scenery is amazing and you’ll probably want to take it all in, but we’ll hit some boring parts, especially on the way to Vegas.”

“I have my tablet with me. I even downloaded an e-book of laughably bad eroticism.”

“Aww, are we giving up skin flute?” he playfully pouts.

“Baby, this one includes the terms ‘spongy love mountains’ and ‘pearlescent sperms’,” I can barely say it with a straight face.

“Are you shittin’ me? Can we read that out loud to each other?”

“We can try,” I laugh.

“While you drive I can do dramatic readings for you,” he chuckles.

“I also downloaded Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark, volumes one through three,” I tell him. I loved those books as a kid.

“Awesome. I must warn you, I’m pretty badass at reading things with flare. Voices and faces and such. You get creative when reading to children.”

“I’ll be happy to let you entertain me.”

Eric pulls my hand up to his mouth and kisses each of my fingertips.

“I can get creative in other ways too,” he says quietly and sets our hands on his thigh.

“Care to share with the rest of the class what you’re mumbling about?” I smirk, and let my hand move over his thigh.

“I’m just saying I can find several ways to bring you to orgasm without getting caught. That’s all,” he says at a normal level and looks over at me before putting his eyes back on the road.

“You think so, huh?” I turn a little in my seat and unzip his shorts so I can reach into them.

“I know so, but it seems like you have your own plan,” he says and rests his hand on mine.

“I do. It’s a shame you didn’t go commando.” I lean over and nibble on his ear as my hand finds its way into his boxer briefs.

“It is,” he agrees and groans when I wrap my hand around his shaft.

I proceed to whisper filthy things in his ear while I stroke him, making Eric shift and his cock twitch more than once. Just as we’re about to get off the highway, Eric gets off all over my hand.

“It’s not road head, but there’s still time for that,” I say, and kiss his neck before I extract my hand from his pants and locate some napkins in the glovebox.

“Please tell me you brought skirts,” he breathes. “I think this trip is already the best ever.”

“I brought a few, including the slutty red dress for Vegas.” If he lets me leave the room, I’ll be shocked.

“You’re in for a treat when you drive then. I have long arms and nimble fingers,” he chuckles.

“I’ll make a note of that.” I also need to get hand sanitizer.

The scenery is beautiful in Napa. Dawn and I almost came out here once but something came up at the last minute and we didn’t bother rescheduling. I went to one work function in Sonoma, but I didn’t get the chance to really take in the scenery since it was already nighttime.

We pull up to a cute little bed and breakfast not too far from the vineyard we’re going to, and we leave most of our things in the car. There’s a shuttle that will take us to the vineyard and back since we’ll be drinking while we’re there. Eric gets us checked in and we’re taken up to a pretty room with rustic beams running across the ceiling and terra cotta colored walls.

The bed is enormous and the view out the bay window is absolutely gorgeous. My boyfriend, for all of his child-like qualities, has phenomenal taste.

“Babe, this is beautiful,” I say once we’re alone.

We have a few hours until we leave for the vineyard and the look on Eric’s face tells me exactly how he plans for us to spend them.


I have to smile as we leave Napa. Sookie wasn’t the most excited about the vineyard, but she seems to have had a great time. It could’ve also been the pre-wine orgasms, coupled with twenty-two tastings, and then a kick ass dinner followed by another bottle of wine between us. We actually passed out instead of having more sex when we got back to the room. She’s not feeling so stellar right now, but she still has a pretty smile on her face. I love it, I love her, and I’m honestly a little worried that I’ll get to be too much for her and I’ll piss her off at some point, but she’s surprised me before.

We’re on our way to The City and we have some touristy shit planned. We aren’t staying the night, we’re just going to drive down the coast on the way out to make it to Monterey tonight. She’s never seen the Golden Gate bridge so instead of taking the more direct route across the Bay bridge I’m taking her out to highway 101. This trip isn’t about time, as I told Sookie before the winery this trip is about the experience. I look forward to learning all the little things that make her tick. I like to think I know quite a bit about her, but I’m sure there are things lurking in her closet that I’ll either laugh at, cringe at, or simply fall in love with her again. Which I seem to do every day that I’m with her.

Which makes me wonder.

“Baby doll, do you like shopping?” I ask her, stroking her thigh.

“Mmm… depends on what I’m shopping for. Sugary treats? Yes. Bathing suits? Not so much,” she smiles.

“Ah, but you’re so sexy when you’re mostly naked,” I smile back. “At the wharf we can get all the sugary treats you can handle.”

“Good to know.”

“What about regular clothes, or shoes?” Tara was a shopaholic, so I’m curious to see what I’m getting into here.

“I have my moments but generally speaking I’m not a shopaholic. It’s probably because I have my swag closet at home from all the stuff I’ve gotten at work. If I do go on a buying binge, it’s usually books. Those seem to be my retail drug of choice.”

“Good to know,” I nod.

We’re quiet for a few minutes before Sookie asks, “What’s the weirdest gift you ever got someone?”

I have to think a few minutes before I remember, “It’s not necessarily weird, but I enrolled Alcide in clown school for his twentieth birthday. He’s terrified of clowns and he may have cried a little.”

Sookie cackles and says, “Diabolical. I love it!”

“What are friends for?” I grin. “What about you, what’s the weirdest gift you’ve ever given?”

“That’s easy,” she chuckles. “When my brother left for college I gave him one of those gallon jars of peanut butter and an economy size box of condoms. The look on the CostCo clerk’s face was priceless.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “What’s the weirdest gift you’ve ever gotten?”

“Last year my secret Santa at work got me a basket of turtle wax.”

“Pickles and bubble wrap for me. I’ll give you one guess who gave them to me,” I snort.

“Oooh that’s tough… either one of your parents or Alcide. They’re all smart asses,” she laughs.

“True,” I laugh. “I still to this day have no idea why I got the pickles, but I fell so much when my legs started growing my mom got me a giant box of bubble wrap. I think maybe the pickles were just on sale.”

“Seriously, your mom is a hot mess,” she keeps laughing.

“She’s got a good heart under all that crazy,” I tell her and bring her hand up to kiss it.

“I know. She raised you,” Sookie gives me one of those smiles.

I love that smile.

“Is that a compliment, Miss Sookie?” I ask with my own grin.


“When do I get to meet your parents?” I ask. We could’ve used this time to fly down to Louisiana, but I’m happy with what we’re doing.

“Maybe for one of the holidays we could go down there,” she suggests.

“I would like that. I want to see where you were raised. Mom will be pissed that I miss a holiday, but she’ll get over it.”

“She’ll get over it when you get a glowing review from my parents.”

“You really think they’ll like me?”

“They’ll adore you,” she insists.

I smile again.

“I know this might sound crazy three months into dating, but how do you feel about kids?” I ask.

“I think kids are great,” she says. “They’re a little intimidating in large numbers, but one on one, they’re great.”

“Do you want them?”

She smiles at me and says, “Yeah, I do. It’ll be the most challenging thing I ever do, but also the most rewarding.”

“Good to know,” I smile back.

“Do you want kids?”

“At least two. Luckily I had Alcide, but sometimes I wish I had blood siblings,” I tell her.

“I appreciate my brother way more now that we’re adults,” she says.

“How far apart are you guys?”

“Irish twins, but I’m the smarter one.”

“You picked me didn’t you? Of course you’re the smarter one.” Duh.

“Well in all fairness, you’re not his type.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t be mine either,” I chuckle.

“Probably not.”

I get to know more about Sookie’s family during the rest of the drive to San Francisco. Before we get to the Golden Gate I take the exit to get to the small beach so we can take pictures with the bridge in the background.

“You wanna put your toes in the water?” I ask. Northern California water is freezing all year round, so I’m not going anywhere near it.

“Sure,” she says fearlessly. “It’ll make a great picture for the scrapbook, right?”

“It’ll be absolutely adorable,” I chuckle. I stand back and get a feel for her camera while she’s psyching herself up to get in the water. Thankfully I’m ready by the time she’s in the water and the screech she lets out is adorable.  She jumps and bounces back toward me and by the time she gets to me I have the camera put away so I can grab her around the waist. I pick her up and she wraps her arms around my hips. I haven’t gotten a good kiss in a while so I take a moment to kiss her silly.

“Want a selfie?” Sookie asks against my lips.

“Of course,” I say and kiss her again.

She digs my phone out of my pocket and finds the camera app so she can take our picture. I allow her to take one and then I take it from her so I can get some with some distance. Her arms are plenty long, but they’re t-rex arms compared to mine.

“You almost make me look good, Princess,” I tell her as we flip through them.

“You look plenty good all on your own, mister,” she says. “Take one more,” she adds, and presses her lips to mine.

I snap three before she pulls back. “Yep, we’re awesome and this shit is going up on my fridge,” I say when I see I got one where I’m licking the tip of her nose.

“You’re adorkable.”

“Mmm, and you’re stuck with me.”

“I can live with that,” she says and kisses me again.

“Good. You ready to get back on the road?”

“Yep, let’s go.” Sookie slides down my body and we walk back to the Jeep together.

When we get to the car I open her door and help her in. As normal, I have to give her a kiss before I close the door.

“So, wharf or Union Square?” We’d agreed on the wharf, but you never know. She may want to shop.

“To the wharf, Jeeves,” she says.

“Good. They have amazing sourdough bread that you must have,” I tell her as we get back on the road. San Francisco is only seven miles across so barring traffic we should make good time.

“I’m fully prepared to gain ten pounds on this trip.”

“Only ten?” I query. I plan on gaining at least twenty, but I stopped working out when we met.

“You make sure I keep up with my cardio,” she winks at me.

Not a problem at all.

“Have you done any cardio since we met?” I ask, because I know I haven’t. I haven’t had to.

“Only every time you get me alone in a room.”

“That sounds about right,” I chuckle. “Before you, even when I dated Tara I worked out in the gym at least five days a week.”

“If I did that I’d be a size two by now. No thanks.”

“God, no. Baby, you’re beautiful, but I’m glad you gained weight after we met.” Sookie and I eat a lot together.

“Me too. I like food too much,” she sighs. “I’m going to need more coffee.”

“We can get some at the wharf, we’re almost there,” I tell her. I’m going to make sure she has all the cofffe she needs.

“Works for me. The coffee at the inn was absolute shit.” Bad coffee annoys her big time.

“It was, and I’m sorry about that. We will have Starbucks soon, Princess,” I promise.

“The impeccable morning sex made up for the coffee,” she smiles at me.

“Good to hear. I promise tomorrow we’ll have more of the morning sex. I love it in case you haven’t figured that much out.”

“Oh I got the memo. It’s kind of hard to miss when I woke up with your cock in me already.”

“I’m not even sorry,” I laugh. I swear we passed out like that, but I could be wrong.

“I’m not either. If I can’t have my caffeine buzz, a good orgasm will suffice.”

“I will always give you all the orgasms you need,” I promise. “Just say when.”

“I know you will,” she says with a smile.

Of course I finish the drive to the wharf with her hand in mine. To be honest if I saw any of my friends like this I would give them serious shit, but Sookie makes me want to be that asshole.

“Is there anything you want to do here?” I ask her as we walk in.

“I just want to look around and see what catches my eye. That sourdough is definitely on the list.”

“Do you like seafood?” I ask. I hate it and since I’m the only one that cooks its never been brought up.

“I was raised on a steady diet of catfish, crawfish and shrimp. Yes, I like seafood,” she chuckles.

“Well I hate the shit,” I grumble. “That being said, I hear the clam chowder is amazing, if you’d like some.” I could eat.

“Maybe next time. I’m not in the mood for soup. I have this thing about eating winter food in the summer and summer food in the winter,” she tells me. “Like I rarely eat ice cream from like November until March.”

“Understood,” I smile and pull her closer for a kiss. “That’s part of the reason I only drink hot coffee in the winter. You’ll learn that it’s sparce in the summer, but I drink the hell out of it in winter.”

“Food quirks are fun.”

“They can be,” I agree. “Is there anything weird about you I should know other than the winter food thing?”

“You mean in general or just food wise?”

“Food wise. I’ll get to your weirdness in general next,” I snicker.

“I detest mushrooms, Triscuits are the worst fucking things I’ve ever eaten and I like peanut butter on waffles,” she fires off. “Oh! And sometimes I make my animal crackers beg for their lives.”

“That’s just about the cutest thing you’ve ever told me,” I laugh.  “I eat a lot of things, but seafood is on the no-no list for me.”

“I promise to never try to force feed you seafood. I cannot say the same for my mother, should you meet her. She’s… she’s quite stubborn and persistent.”

“If I tell her I have an allergy will she not try to make me eat it?” I ask. I’ve used the allergy excuse in the past.

“You know, that might shut her up,” Sookie nods.

“Alright, we have a plan,” I smile. “As for your detesting of mushrooms, I won’t make you pick them off your pizza. I love them on pizza, but I’ll learn to live without them when I’m around you.”

“Awwww babe, you don’t have to. Just order half without mushrooms,” she grins, and squeezes my hand.

“Then how will you get all four corners?” I ask, looking over at her. I think she’s going to cry. Shit. I haven’t seen Sookie cry a lot, but know a wibbly lip can only mean one thing.

“I’m learning to share,” she says as a damn tear slips out of her left eye. She quickly wipes it away like nothing happened and her eyes randomly leak all the time.

I wait till we’re at a light and I lean over, grabbing her head so we can meet in the middle for a passionate kiss. When I hear a horn honking I slowly pull back and stroke her cheek with my thumb.

“Honeysuckle, I’ll give you anything you want, including all four corners of the pizza. I love you, and I’m lucky that you love me back,” I whisper and I’m forced to drive when the damn horn sounds again.

I see her wipe another tear off her cheek when she replies, “I love you too, Eric.”

“Good,” I smile.

We make it to the wharf a few minutes later.  Parking is a bitch since it’s already early afternoon, but we end up with a good spot. Sookie has finally figured out to stay put when I turn off the car so I can help her out. My mother raised a gentleman, that’s for damn sure.

Before I help her out of the car I wrap my arms around her and kiss her slow and long. Maybe I’m not all gentleman, since I slide my hands up her skirt while we kiss.

Breakeven 17 Eric



15 thoughts on “Chapter 17

  1. They are a absolutely the cutest couple! I’m loving this story. Eric is like a dream come true & I love that Sookie isn’t an over emotional and irrational crazy person. That seems to be the norm in most stories I’ve read about them. Love it. Can’t wait for more updates!


  2. That’s it, you have to write a really bad erotic story – you did good parodying yourselves at the start of this! Still laughing about spongy love mountains & pearlescent sperm – ugh! Mind you ‘shaft’ always makes me cringe a bit….


    • That wasn’t us parodying ourselves. Those are terms from an actual erotic novel by Sandra Hill called Rough and Ready. You can find dramatic readings of it on tumblr. It’s so terrible it’s hilarious. She uses the term “dick aneurism”. Seriously.


  3. I’m sure I’ve see pics of ASkars in that outfit! Lol, well picked.
    Awww, selfies and seafood allergies 😉
    And Sookies tears about pizza, So. Damn. Cute!


      • I personally am not offended, but I said it once to a woman who had Irish twins and she almost bit my face off :/ It apparently dates back to when there was an influx in immigrants to the US when most stereotypes about Irish people started (I.e Thick paddy, Drunk Irish) it’s supposed to mean that only Irish Catholics are so uneducated and lacking in self control that only they would have back to back babies because they don’t know any better. :/ The woman actually accused me of being racist for saying it! Which was dumb as hell because I’m a friggin Irish Catholic too! Silly cow, But yeah apparently it’s like so bad.


        • I would have laughed and told her to get over it. Words are only hurtful if you allow them to be. That’s why I laugh at someone who calls me a bitch and thinks I should be offended. Like I give two shits what some random person thinks. People are ridiculous.


        • That would have been my first reaction too if she didn’t look like she might cut me! She scared the crap out of me that day! O_o


        • Way to quash the Irish temper stereotype though, right? I love it when one person decides to make themselves a spokesperson for a group. There’s a way to educate people without being a douchebag about it.


        • Haha hate to inform you that that’s not exactly inaccurate, get even the most meek person in Ireland and call them a C**T and you’ll have a shit storm on your hands! 😀 The temper I believe is something we’re just born with. Her though I’m more inclined to believe she was due a tampon change at the time as there was no call for that carry on. 🙂


        • Oh I’m well aware of the temper. My half-sisters come from a huge Irish family on their mom’s side. I’ve been around it since I was 6. I’ve seen my share of angry Irish folks lol.


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