We had gotten our marriage license back at home and we have an eleven o’clock appointment at the courthouse to get married. It made both of us a little sad to get married without the kids being present, but trying to wrangle them and our wayward, hungover siblings would be damn near impossible. What neither of us was expecting was to find Pam and Jason in bed together.
I suppose we should have seen it coming, but I didn’t think Jason was Pam’s type. Yet when Sookie went to her brother’s room to wake him up, she made this weird noise, followed by the bellowing of my name. Thinking she was in pain, I came running. Now here I am, staring at my obviously nude sister, curled around Sookie’s equally nude brother. At least they’re covered where they need to be.
“This… why is this happening?” she questions, motioning to them. “Are they trying to ruin my wedding? How is Pam going to do my hair if she’s hungover?”
“I’ll get them up. You go get ready,” I tell her. I don’t need Sookie having kittens right now.
She throws her hands up and stomps out of the room mumbling something about Pam keeping her drunk hands steady when she does Sookie’s makeup. I sigh heavily and go about waking up my sister first since I know she’s sensitive to light. I yank the vertical blinds up, letting in a bunch of sunlight.
“Rise and shine!” I shout, earning me twin groans from the bed. Both of them shift and that’s when I see the rings on their fingers. “What the actual fuck?!”
“Hmmm?” Jason groans without opening his eyes.
“Stop screaming,” Pam grumbles.
“You fuckheads got married?!” I stare at them in disbelief. How much did they drink last night?
“Eric, shut up,” Pam pulls a pillow over her head.
I yank the pillow away from her and Pam growls.
“We have an appointment in two hours and you two have some explaining to do. Maybe while we’re at the courthouse you can get this farce of a marriage annulled,” I say. “You have five minutes to get up or I’m coming back with cold water.”
These two are unfuckingbelievable. I don’t know what the hell happened last night or what they were thinking when they did this, but our parents are going to flip the fuck out and Sookie… well, she’s not exactly going to be their biggest supporter.
I go back to the kitchen to pour them some coffee and I know they’ve finally opened their eyes when I hear my sister shriek. Not only is she naked and in bed with Jason, she’s also wearing a cheesy, yellow gold wedding band on her left ring finger. Pam detests yellow gold.
Under other circumstances, this would actually be pretty hilarious and I’m sure in time this will be something we all laugh about for years at family parties. At the moment, however, all I can think about is my moody, hormonal bride upstairs. She’s depending on Pam to pull it together and help her look absolutely stunning. Sookie and I agree that marriage is a once in a lifetime thing.
Barring one of us dies; this is the only wedding we’ll ever have. I can’t imagine being married to anyone other than Sookie. She’s the only one I want for the rest of my life. I knew I should have asked Trey to be my witness instead of Pam.
After a few minutes of arguing, my sister comes out of Jason’s room with a sheet wrapped around her.
“Morning, Mrs. Stackhouse,” I smirk and hand her one of the steaming mugs.
“Piss off,” she glares at me.
“My wife is going to kill you both,” I say with a smile. “Good luck dealing with her.”
I’m not even going to bother saying anything because Sookie will verbally shred them both for me.
“Eric!” I hear my name being screamed from the master bedroom.
I cringe a little internally and take off for the stairs. I find Sookie in the room and say, “What’s wrong?”
She has a pile of hair supplies and makeup on the bed and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t… My hands won’t stop shaking and Pam isn’t in here,” she sniffles, raising her trembling hands to show me.
I exhale and move closer to her. My hands reach for hers to steady them and help her up off the bed. I hug her tightly and sway back and forth, hoping to soothe her.
“Pam’s having coffee in the kitchen. I’m sure she’ll be up soon. Even if she’s not, I have no doubt that you will be the most beautiful bride that has ever been,” I tell her.
She hugs me tighter around the waist and settles her head on my chest. She takes a deep breath and says in a sad voice, “I want coffee.” She hasn’t had coffee since before we found out she was pregnant.
“I can make you some decaf, if you want it,” I kiss her damp hair and rub her back.
“Okay,” she nods against my chest.
I keep quiet and continue to rub her back and sway with her until Sookie pulls back. I take a deep breath and ask, “Do you want to come down with me?”
“I can,” she says and stands on her toes to kiss me.
I stroke her hair back from her face and guide her to the elevator. We ride down together and when we get to the kitchen we find our siblings drinking coffee tensely at the island. Jason at least has shorts on now, but Sookie stops in her tracks. No doubt she’s spotted the ring on his finger.
“What the fuck is that?” she growls as she points at Jason’s finger.
“Oh this?” he smiles stupidly as he shows off the ring. “We were celebratin’ your union.”
Sookie looks up at me and then at her brother again. “What is wrong with you, Jason Stackhouse?” she yells and picks up a napkin to throw at him. It just falls to the ground.
“Baby, calm down,” I say gently. “The twins need you calm.”
“We were drunk, Sookie. It’s not that big of a deal,” Pam says.
“Yeah we’ll see if Mom and Dad agree with you,” I snort.
“Who’s idea was it?” Sookie asks, glaring at Jason. His blush gives him away. “This will be funny later, but right now I want to junk punch you like nobody’s business.”
“Oh come on, it’s not the worst thing that could happen,” Pam says.
“Are you high?” I ask my sister.
She rolls her eyes and says, “I could have picked someone way worse to be my first ex-husband.”
“Just wait until you have to get a rabies shot,” Sookie grumbles.
“Is she always this unpleasant in the morning?” Pam asks.
“Just when my fuckwit brother talks other people into his fucking ‘smart’ ideas. I really can’t believe you went along with this, Pam. Were you roofied?”
“Too much Jameson makes me do crazy things,” she says. Pam looks Jason’s way and says, “At least it was fun. Show them the tattoo.”
“Tattoo?” Oh fuck my life.
Jason turns around and there’s a cladagh on his back with Pam’s full name on the band part. Jesus fucking Christ.
“I got one too,” Pam says. She sticks her leg out and there’s a heart near her ankle with my and Sookie’s names, along with our wedding date in the middle of it.
“You’re both idiots,” I say, and leave Sookie’s side to make her the decaf she wanted.
Sookie is crying now.
“That’s so cute,” she coos as she goes to inspect the ink.
The hormones are fucking with her big time, but I’ll take this over her being enraged.
“Uh… thanks,” Pam says as Sookie gets closer.
“Eric, she’s an idiot but she loves us,” Sookie sniffles. “Jason, I wouldn’t be so mad if you’d done something like this.”
“I think he thinks we’re staying married,” Pam smirks.
“I think you both should be sterilized,” I tell her.
“I was joking about the rabies shot. Who knows what Jason has,” Sookie tells my sister.
“Did you at least use birth control?” I ask.
“None of your business,” Pam glares at me.
“Oh Lord,” Sookie moans. “Pamela if you get pregnant by my brother I swear to Christ I’ll murder you myself. Jason does not need to procreate.”
“If I remember right, what we did wouldn’t get me pregnant,” she smirks.
“Oh gross,” I shake my head. I don’t need to think about it.
There goes any wood I might get the rest of the weekend.
Jason winks at me and takes a sip of his coffee.
“Meet me upstairs to do my hair,” Sookie tells Pam and comes over to give me a kiss. “Will you bring me my coffee when it’s done, please?”
Sookie goes back upstairs and Pam leaves the kitchen a minute later, leaving me alone with Jason.
“Are you really planning on staying married to my sister?” I ask him.
“If I know what’s good for me it’ll be annulled before the day is done. Your dad scares me,” he admits. “I like her, and it was a brilliant idea when I had it, but I’m not really the marrying type.”
“I’d be more afraid of your dad than mine,” I snort.
“Daddy is a pussycat,” he chuckles.
“A pussycat that threw shotgun shells at Sookie’s dates as a warning.”
“Yeah, he only shot at one of them,” he winks. “Sook went out with this kid John Quinn before she met Sam. The boy brought her home at ten-oh-one and Daddy was cocking the shotgun when he opened the door. Quinn pissed his pants.”
I chuckle at that.
“I guess it’s a good thing your dad likes me, huh?”
“I think if he woulda met you under different circumstances it might’ve been different. If Jo didn’t come running to you like she did, Dad probably would’ve second guessed you.”
“He would have been right to after Sam.”
“Sam wasn’t always so bad. We knew something was wrong with him when he suddenly started slacking on his days with Joey and causing fights with Sook. I’m not sticking up for him, but I think even you would’ve liked him.”
“Unfortunately I only know the addict version of him, and that guy is a fucking nightmare,” I say as I pour Sookie a cup of coffee.
“I’m glad she found you,” he says seriously. “You’re a good man and you treat my sister and Joey right. That’s a lot more than I can say for most of the trash I see every day. I just hope you never give me a reason to take those words back. I’ve been trained to kill and I know how to hide a body.”
“So do I,” I say sincerely. “I’m gonna run up Sookie’s coffee.”
I head to the elevator and hope Sookie’s not upstairs sobbing again.
Despite the rocky start of the morning, Pam gets her shit together and works her cosmetology magic to make Sookie look positively stunning. We’re standing hand in hand in the courthouse as the Honorable Judge Luna Garza presides over our wedding.
“Do you, Susannah Adele Stackhouse, take Eric to be your beloved husband, to have and to hold, to honor, to treasure, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish for all the days of your life?” Judge Garza asks.
“I do,” she says softly. Her eyes are sparkling as she looks at me. I smile at her and squeeze her hands.
“Do you, Eric Andrew Northman, take Susannah to be your beloved wife, to have and to hold, to honor, to treasure, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish for all the days of your life?”
“With all my heart,” I answer and a tear slips down Sookie’s cheek.
We exchange rings and the sparkle of her ring is nothing compared to the way Sookie’s smiling at me.
“By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you are husband and wife. Eric, you may kiss your bride,” Judge Garza says.
“I love you, Toots,” I whisper to her.
She wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you too,” she says quietly with tears running down her gorgeous face.
I press my lips to hers and the kiss only deepens slightly before it breaks. I carefully brush her tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.
“No, no, no, dab, not wipe!” Pam steps forward with a tissue to fix Sookie’s face.
“Pam, he can do whatever he wants,” Sookie says and smacks Pam’s hand away.
“Fine. Have smudgy, bloated wedding pictures.”
“You’ll fix it for me,” she grins and kisses me again.
I could kiss her all afternoon, but there’s another couple waiting. We go over to where the clerk is and all of us sign the certificate to legally seal the marriage.
“Can these two file for an annulment here?” I ask, motioning to Jason and Pam.
“You would need to speak to an attorney about it,” the clerk says.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me,” Jason smirks and wraps his arm around Pam. “How about a name change. Pamela Stackhouse sounds real nice.”
“So does Jason Northman,” Pam snickers.
“We already have a Northman family Christmas ornament, Jay,” Sookie smiles.
“Nope. We’ll just call the lawyer when we get home. No way I’m taking a chick’s last name.”
“Good. Daddy would flip out,” Pam admits.
“Nah, he’ll put you in therapy,” Sookie laughs.
“It would serve them right if they were forced into marriage counseling like in What Happens in Vegas,” I snicker.
“You really want me to stay married to him?” Pam asks in disbelief.
Just to fuck with her I say, “Well you did say you could do worse.”
“Hey. I’m a catch,” Jason tells her.
“Yes, brother, you are. You and your venereal diseases,” Sookie says seriously and pats his arm.
I laugh even though I shouldn’t. I help Sookie get her coat back on and then we walk out of the courthouse to go back to the cabin. It’s snowing pretty hard outside. As soon as I’m behind the wheel of the Jeep, Sookie pulls me to her for the kiss she couldn’t give me in front of the judge.
“That’s dangerous, Mrs. Northman,” I say against her lips.
With it snowing so hard it’s going to take twice as long to get home.
“Mmm, call me that again,” she purrs.
“Okay, maybe we should save it till we’re home. I can’t blow you in the car with this weather.”
“I would prefer that you don’t even try.” I kiss her again and start the car.
Sookie reaches over to take my hand so she can thread her fingers through mine.
“I hate the snow. It scares the shit out of me.”
“So I guess that means we won’t be bringing the kids up here for a white Christmas next year, huh?” I smile at her.
I’m careful when I pull out of the parking garage. It’s not a whiteout, but damn close. We were planning on going out to eat with Jason and Pam, but I would rather get back to the house where it’s safe so I ask Sookie what she wants to do.
“Yeah, let’s go home. I can call Pam and tell them to meet us. I can make some chicken pot pie,” she suggests.
“Works for me.” I kiss her hand before letting it go so she can call Pam.
“Well I’m going to bed,” Pam announces an hour after dinner. I think she’s still hungover.
“Goodnight, Mrs. Stackhouse,” I smirk.
“Night, Pam,” Sookie smiles. She’s ready for some alone time. “Jay, are you going too?”
“Uh… do I have to?”
“No, just curious.”
“They do say marriage kills your sex life.” Pam stands up and takes her wine glass to the sink.
Sookie giggles and says, “Whoever ‘they’ are obviously haven’t met the Northmans.”
“Oh I don’t know if that’s true. I haven’t had married sex yet,” I smile at Sookie.
“Blame mother nature for no road head,” she tells me.
“That’s it. I’m going to bed too,” Jason says, throwing his hands up. “Dinner was good sis.”
I chuckle and say, “Oh come on, Jason. You don’t want to stick around and find out how many other sexual acts your little sister tried to initiate in the car?”
“I like you, Northman, but I don’t want to know what you’re doing to my baby sister. I wear a gun, and I don’t want it to ‘accidentally’ go off,” he tells me. Definitely not chuckling like Sookie and me.
“That wasn’t a problem last night,” Pam snickers.
I don’t know if I should laugh or be horrified.
“Alright, while you two figure out what you’re doing I’m going to take my husband upstairs and have a little alone time.” Sookie grabs my hand and tugs me to follow her.
“Goodnight,” I say over my shoulder as I follow my wife out of the dining room.
“I should warn you I’m a little tired, but we need to consummate this thing,” she says just as we get to the room.
“I promise to let you get plenty of rest.” I close the bedroom doors.
“Good,” she smiles as she wraps her arms around my neck. Her hair is still up, but she changed into some sweats and one of my t-shirts when we got back to the house. “After last night something soft and slow will be nice.”
“So butt sex isn’t romantic?” I laugh.
“Definitely not two nights in a row,” she winks.
“Is it something you want to do again sometime?” I wasn’t expecting her to come prepared with the lube and condoms. We talked about it once but I wasn’t sure she was really into the idea.
“As long as it’s like it was last night I would say yes. You were very good to me.” Sookie smiles and stands on her toes to kiss my chin. “It’s something I will have to be in the mood for though. No anal quickies.”
“I’m fine with that. It’s definitely messier, and messy isn’t good for quickies.”
I lean down and kiss her. My arms wrap around her and when I lift her off the floor, she tries to wrap her legs around me but can’t quite do it. We’re at the bed a few seconds later so it doesn’t really matter. I set her down and break off the kiss so I can take off her shirt.
My eyes take in the bump and I smile. “The kiddos look bigger today.”
“They feel bigger. I felt like I was going to bust the seams of the dress,” she smiles and rubs her hands up and down her belly, pushing her sweats down in the process.
“You looked stunning,” I tell her and pull off my own shirt.
“Thank you. So did you.” She reaches up to start taking pins out of her hair, allowing it to slowly fall.
“Do guys look stunning?” I drop my pants and boxer briefs.
“I don’t know about other guys, but I know you’re stunning. You’re beautiful and handsome and all those other pretty adjectives.”
“I’ve never been called ‘pretty’ before.” I sit on the bed and lean against the enormous headboard.
“Well I’m calling you pretty right now.” Sookie crawls onto the bed to me and sits up to straddle my lap.
“You’re going to make me blush, Mrs. Northman.”
“I would love to see that,” she grins. She brushes her thumbs over my cheeks and leans in to kiss the tip of my nose.
“You know what I would love to see?” I grab her hips and pull her closer.
“Not until you tell me, handsome man.”
“I would love to see that perfect, sexy face you make when you cum,” I tell her, and my hands move up her sides to her tits. My thumbs brush over her nipples and I nibble on her bottom lip before I suck on it.
She pulls back and starts kissing along my jaw to my ear. “Then I guess you’re in luck. I feel like making that face for you right now,” she whispers and sucks my earlobe.
As she sucks her hand wraps around my cock and shifts so she can place me at her entrance. Without warning she slides down my shaft. She starts a slow up and down rhythm as her lips travel over my neck, sucking and nibbling. My fingers keep playing with her nipples, plucking and pinching them until Sookie’s panting.
I shift and lean down to nibble and kiss her breasts. Sookie’s head falls back and her hips swivel the next time she slides down my shaft. I bring her face back to mine and kiss her mouth. She moans into the kiss and stops moving up and down to start rocking back and forth. I can tell she’s getting close. Her breathing is getting harder and her pussy is fluttering around my shaft.
Sookie pulls back to look into my eyes. Her mouth parts slightly, her lids are heavy and she’s making the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.
“Eric,” she pants, “I’m…” Sookie’s eyes slam shut and her lips press together in a tight line. I feel her nails dig into my shoulder blades and her walls clamp down around my cock as she cums.
“Mmm… that’s my girl,” I say softly, and kiss along her collarbone to her neck. My thumb moves in slow circles around her clit to draw out her orgasm.
“Oh wow.” Her head comes back up and her lips graze over mine. “Your turn,” she whispers against my lips.
“I’m taking my time,” I tell her. “You feel too good to rush it.”
“Take all the time you need,” she smiles and continues to rock her hips.
We keep moving at a slow, gentle pace. My fingers tangle in her hair and her eyes lock on mine when her walls start to flutter again a few minutes later.
“I married the most beautiful, generous, kind and sweetest woman in the world,” I say. “I adore you, Sookie.”
“You’re crazy,” she smiles. “And I adore you too, Mr. Northman.”
I brush my lips against hers and when her walls start to pulse around my shaft, I deepen the kiss and let myself get lost in the sensation of her milking me of my orgasm. I release deep inside her without breaking the kiss. Perfection.
“I love you, Toots,” I tell her. “Thank you for marrying me and for these tiny miracles.” I put my hand on her bump.
“I love you too, baby. You’re welcome.” She kisses my cheek and whispers, “I would do it for you over and over again.”
“Remember that in four months.”
“I promise,” she giggles softly.
Yeah, we’ll see about that.
For now I just want to snuggle with my beautiful wife and watch the snow fall outside.