Chapter 11: Living On the Edge

go back


The next morning I woke up feeling damn good. I should have; Eric and I were up until almost sunrise fucking our brains out. It was one of the perks of dating a porn star. He had great stamina to begin with and it only got better as the night turned into day. By the time we collapsed we were both exhausted, but sated. It was to his advantage that my sex drive was as high as his. I couldn’t imagine him dating someone who only wanted it once or twice a week. Or less. God, once a month would be sad. Sure I’d had my droughts, but they were self-imposed to give my body a break, not because I was tired of sex.

Eric was in the shower after a good morning blowjob that I knew I’d get some kind of payback for later. I found Hadley in the kitchen with a bowl of leftover takeout from the day before. Chinese for breakfast wasn’t my thing, but I was relieved to see her eating.

“Morning, Had,” I said cheerfully. “Sleep well?”

“Okay. You and Eric fuck really loud,” she complained.

“Oh… sorry. We’ll try to keep it down.”

“Is he that good or were you playing porn star with him?”

“He’s that good,” I smiled.

“Huh. That’s good, I guess. The world needs more like him. Well, then again I guess anyone with $89.99 and a willing orifice can have him.”

“Excuse me?” That was rude.

“He has a dildo made from a mold of his dick,” she reminded me.

Whatever, it was still rude.

“I can guarantee you it’s not the same as the real thing,” I said.

If she could tell I was pissed at her she didn’t care. Hadley took her breakfast to the living room and plopped down on the couch. If she got soy sauce on anything I was going to murder her.

“Hadley, please don’t eat in there. I have a dining room and four patios with tables to choose from,” I requested.

“I’m not six. I’m not going to spill,” she rebutted.

“You don’t know that and this is my house, so please just do what I ask.” It wasn’t a life altering request. Eating at a table wasn’t going to kill her.

“Fine. The table it is, Warden.”

I took a deep breath and counted to ten while she stomped by me to go to the dining room. I reminded myself it was probably just her needing a fix, but then she didn’t seem to be going through withdrawal symptoms. She didn’t have the freshly shot up hazy look in her eyes either, so I wasn’t sure what was going on. Leave it to my cousin to sniff out any crackheads in the area in less than a day.

I poured cups of coffee for Eric and me. He knew breakfast was only coming if he cooked it or if he wanted a bowl of Cheerios. When he came upstairs he was dressed in the same clothes as the day before.

“I could use that coffee,” he chuckled. He leaned over to give me one of those long, lingering pecks that often turned into more.

“You and me both, mister. I’m actually going to go to the gym today if you want to come along,” I offered. “I’ll let you spot me.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. Ras and I usually go in the afternoon when he wakes up or after a shoot. I have a feeling I’ll have a lot more fun watching your tits.”

“Just be careful not to hurt yourself while I’m on the treadmill,” I giggled.

“I’ll probably have to stop what I’m doing so I can watch.” He reached out to grab my tits.

“Geez, you two are insatiable,” Kennedy said as she walked into the kitchen.

“He’s got good hands.” I wasn’t sorry.

“I also fuck for a living. I have a very high sex drive,” he shrugged. He wasn’t sorry either.

“Hey, I think you two are cute. I like seeing Sookie happy for a change,” Kennedy said.

“I’m not a miserable grump the rest of the time am I?” I playfully smacked Eric’s hands away but they just went to my ass instead, making me squirm and laugh.

“I rest my case,” Kennedy laughed.

“I hope to keep you giggling for a long time to come,” he whispered in my ear.

Okay, so maybe I was a little high on my new couple feels, but it was a good feeling. It felt like everything was going great in my life. Work was good, I had a beautiful house, a few good friends, a boyfriend who damn near worshipped me, and my cousin was trying to get clean. Never in my life did I feel like I had it all, but right there in my kitchen I realized did. It was the first time in my life I ever felt blessed. I liked it. I could get used to it.


“Do you want to come to the gym with us?” I asked Hadley. I had buddy passes that she could use if she wanted to come. “There’s a hot tub and sauna if you don’t want to work out.”

“Uh, I don’t know,” she said, crinkling her nose. “I don’t even know if I have something to wear if I go into a pool and I’m sure naked isn’t an option.”

“We can stop and get you something,” I offered. “I actually wanted to get you a few things if you’ll let me.” None of her clothes seemed to fit right, and I still believed being happy with the package helped the inside feel good. Feeling good would help her heal, right?

“I couldn’t,” she said, waving me off. “It’s… no, I can’t. You’re already doing so much by letting me stay here.”

“You’re my family, Hadley. I want you to get better. You have a better chance here than in some lonely hotel room. You could have asked me to put you up somewhere but you asked to stay with me. I’d really like it if we stayed in touch more after you get out of rehab. If getting you some new clothes that fit you a little better can help, I’m happy to do it.” Maybe I was doing too much and maybe Eric was right to be worried, but I was giving Hadley a chance. I was guessing most people had written her off. “Remember Gran always said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

She blushed a little and said, “If you really want to take me shopping I’d rather do it after you go to the gym. I don’t want to mess up your plans.”

“Okay. After the gym then. We can go out for dinner after that. You pick where,” I said.

“Sure. Nothing too fancy. I barely eat,” she chuckled quietly.

“If you want to go celebrity stalking I know where we might see a few,” I offered.

“Maybe. I’m not sure I’d want to spot a celebrity in the shape I’m in.”

“Okay. Well, think it over. I’ll be back by three.”

“I’ll be here,” she replied. She pulled a cigarette out of her pack, getting ready to go smoke.

“Stay out of trouble,” I smiled. Kennedy was home so I wasn’t worried. So far Hadley hadn’t been any trouble.

I grabbed my gym bag from my closet downstairs and then headed out to the Jeep. I spotted Hadley on the front patio, smoking a cigarette. She waved at me as the garage door went up. The Jeep was bright orange and one of my favorite things I owned. I climbed up behind the wheel and set my gym bag on the seat next to me. Hadley was gone when I pulled out of the garage. The door went all the way down before I completely backed out of the driveway.

I had agreed to meet Eric and Ras at their gym instead of mine. It was owned by the same company, just a different location. Eric’s Escalade wasn’t easy to find in the big ass parking garage near the gym, so I just took the first space I could find. It had taken more than an hour to get there. LA traffic was bullshit.

When I walked into the gym I checked in and then went to the locker room to put my things away. I put my hair up in a messy knot and grabbed my iPod from my bag. It went around my arm in the Velcro band, and out to the gym I went with my water bottle. The layout was different than my gym, but it didn’t take long to find Eric and Ras. Rasul was spotting Eric, who was benching some pretty serious weight.

“Hello, boys,” I said. I was dressed in hot pink stretchy pants and a black sports bra.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Rasul purred, shifting his focus from Eric.

Eric put the bar back up on the arms. He sat up to look at me, sweat pouring down his face.

“Hello, Lover.”

“Hi. Looks like you’re working hard. That’s impressive after all the heavy lifting last night,” I teased.

“I wouldn’t call it heavy,” he smiled. He reached out to pull me closer for a kiss.

I kept it PG since it was a public place.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to your lifting.” The elliptical machine was within eyesight.

“Yes, ma’am.” Eric leaned back again. I noticed Rasul eyeing me.

“See something you like?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Too bad your buddy got it first,” I chuckled.

Eric didn’t even look fazed by the interaction.

“I remind him of that all the time,” Ras teased.

“Well keep an eye on him. I like his windpipe uncrushed.”

“You got it.”

Eric pushed the bar up, letting me see all those sexy muscles flex.

“Ooh baby, Mama like,” I winked. I didn’t want to distract him too much. Eric chuckled – well, tried to – as I walked away.

I found a vacant machine and got going. Eric couldn’t see my tits, but I knew from the night before he wasn’t disappointed with my ass either. It would have probably been fun to be a fly on the wall over by Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but I focused on my workout instead.


“Do you guys have plans?” I asked once we were all done with our workouts and cleaned up a little bit.

“Heading home,” Eric answered. “We’ll probably eat…”

“I’m going to take Hadley shopping and then we’re going to dinner.” I could tell by the look on Eric’s face that he wasn’t happy with that plan. “It was my idea, not hers.”

“Alright,” he sighed. He leaned down to kiss me quickly. “Let me know if you need me for anything. Ras and I will probably be hanging out for a while.”

“I will. I’m sure we’ll be fine. It was nice to see you, Rasul.” I moved over to hug him. I wasn’t expecting a bear hug that included being picked up.

“It’s always nice to see you,” he said as he lifted me.

“You too,” I laughed. “Okay, Kong, put me down.”

“Come on, Fay Wray,” he chuckled. “You know you like it.” He set me on my feet.

“Well, it is a very nice hug,” I conceded.

“Good. Expect those in the future,” he winked.

“Come on, Romeo. Leave my girl alone now,” Eric teased.

I grabbed the front of Eric’s shirt and pulled him down for a more passionate kiss. He didn’t waste anytime getting into it, but it broke much sooner than I’m sure he would have liked.

“You’re still my favorite,” I assured him.

“Good,” he smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Assuming you don’t show up in the middle of the night,” I snickered.

“Don’t put ideas in my mind, Lover,” he purred. He reached back to smack my ass lightly.

“Like you weren’t already thinking about it,” I teased. “Enjoy your dinner, fellas.”

I waved as I walked away from them. When I got in the car I called Hadley to let her know I was on my way back. It was a little later than I thought it would be, so I didn’t want her to think I’d blown her off for Eric. Traffic going home sucked just as bad. As soon as I got home I went straight to the shower. The water felt good as I washed up. In my mind I was already planning what to wear.

Hadley was sitting on the wooden platform around the bed. She was dressed in clothes that were obviously too big for her. When she was healthier, she had curves like mine.

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic sucks in this town.” I went to the closet and opened one of the doors. I had a casual dress in mind.

“It’s okay.”

I picked out the dress I wanted and then went looking for underwear. I wasn’t going to bother with a bra. Frankly, I didn’t really like them. I had a bunch of them for work because it gave me something else to take off and delay the gratification a little longer, but in my private life I only wore a bra when I had to. I dressed at the other end of the closet out of Hadley’s view. At the other end was my jewelry box. I swapped out my anchor necklace for the necklace that had been my mom’s.

“Would you mind clasping this on me?” I asked Hadley.

“Sure.” She got up and came over to the closet. “That’s pretty.”

“It was my mom’s. It’s the only thing of hers I have. My dad gave it to me when I graduated from junior high. It’s the only gift he ever gave me that meant anything to me.”

I loved that necklace. It was seriously the only thing I owned that I would be devastated to lose. My house could burn down and my car could be smashed to pieces in the driveway, but I could replace those things. I could probably replace the necklace too if I looked hard enough, but it wouldn’t be my mom’s. It wouldn’t have touched her and it wouldn’t be the one she might have imagined hanging around my neck someday.

“It looks perfect on you. I’m sure Aunt Michelle would approve. Gosh, you look so much like her. You smile like she did,” Hadley told me.

“Really?” No one ever told me that. Hadley nodded and I hugged her. “Thank you for that.”

She was bony and stiff, but she hugged me back.

“You’re welcome.”

I pulled back and took the towel off my head. I ran my fingers through my hair.

“Hey, what if we get our hair done? I’m due for a cut anyway.”

“Really? Aren’t the salons charging internal organs for haircuts out here?”

I laughed and said, “Lafayette only charges a spleen. You don’t have to do it, but–”

“No! I mean, thank you. I would love a haircut,” she said sheepishly.

“Good,” I smiled. “I’ll only be a few more minutes.”

“Okay. I’m going to go smoke.”

I wasn’t going to get onto her about smoking. I didn’t like it, but she had too many addictions to kick them all at one time. Cold turkey wasn’t going to work for her. I wasn’t sure what she was doing to keep the withdrawal at bay, but she was doing something.

While she went out for a cigarette I put some cream on my face and decided to put on just a little mascara and lip gloss. I put on a pair of sneakers to go with my dress, and then went to my gym bag to retrieve my phone so it could go back in my purse. There was a text from Eric.

My first dick pic with a caption saying he missed me.

Me: You’re such a romantic, baby.

Eric: I do what I can. 

I tugged down the neckline of my dress and took a picture of just my right boob hanging out and sent it back to him.

Me: Me too.

Eric: Unf. Don’t be surprised if you wake up with my lips around that pretty nipple tonight.

Me: I’ll leave one of the doors in my room unlocked 😉

Eric: Good girl.

I put my phone in my purse and then went to go collect Hadley so we could get going.

“You ready?” I asked from behind her.

“Yeah,” she nodded. There was a sniffle before she turned around and I could see she was crying. “My ex sent me a new picture of the baby.”

Hadley held out her old iPhone with a cracked screen so I could see a sweet little baby with platinum blonde wisps of hair on his head. He had bright blue eyes and chubby cheeks. He didn’t look a thing like Hadley, though.

“He’s cute. Does he look like his dad?”

“All he got was my hair,” she sniffled. “I miss him so much, Sookie.”

“Let him be your motivation to stay clean. He’s a sweet baby. I’m sure he misses you too.” I gave her the phone back. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”

Hadley nodded and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to walk away from my baby. If, by some chance, I ever did get pregnant and I was in a good relationship I’d probably keep the baby. I couldn’t imagine Eric would be okay with it if I had an abortion. Being a mother never appealed to me, mostly because I didn’t know how to be one. There wasn’t much of an example for me to follow from my childhood. It was probably just all the new relationship happies that had me envisioning a pudgy little drool machine with Eric’s long legs and my button nose.

I shook that off. Baby fever wasn’t something I ever suffered from and I wasn’t about to succumb to it now.

“Did you decide what you want for dinner?” I asked Hadley as we backed out of the driveway.

“You know I’ve heard everyone should have In-n-Out at least once before they die,” she said.

“Then In-n-Out it is,” I nodded, grateful I had gone to the gym.

I headed away from the house toward Beverly Hills. I wasn’t planning on shopping there since it was out of my price range, but we could at least check it out. While she was in California Hadley might as well enjoy herself. Besides, it was fun for me too. She turned on the radio and grinned when Aerosmith flooded out of the speakers.

“My first concert!” she yelled. “I still wouldn’t mind having Joe Perry’s baby!”

I laughed and sang along with her to ‘Living on the Edge’. It was good to see her smiling. Lord knew she didn’t have much to smile about. I hoped that was going to change. We all deserved sunny skies after all the dark clouds for so long.


more please

8 thoughts on “Chapter 11: Living On the Edge

  1. Aw! She’s thinking about babies with Eric! It seems that Hadley is doing as well as she can and it’s good she’s allowing Sookie to get her some things. It’ll probably help her self esteem and missing her son is a real good motivator. Great chapter!


  2. Poor Sookie. That necklace will be making an appearance at a pawnshop all too soon. I wonder if Hadley really had a baby or if that’s part of her scam?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m on the same wavelength as msbuffy – I suspect Hadley doesn’t even have a baby, which is sad. I want her to get well, be healthy, but I think she is too fucked up and her jealousy will allow her to hurt Sookie. Like taking her necklace and messing with Eric.


  4. I desperately want Hadley’s turnaround to be real!
    But, this is you guys and angst is often your stories baby-momma, so I’m really nervous that sookie just showed Hadley where her jewellery is, and she plans on leaving a door unlocked for Eric!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s