Chapter 17

 

When Sookie walks out I feel numb. The last thing I was expecting was for her to walk in and break up with me. I honestly believed she was different; that my past didn’t matter as much as it apparently does. I admit my timing was all wrong when I threw the remote, but I didn’t expect to lose her over it. I’ve never thrown anything in front of her in anger. Now I don’t even have the chance to try to apologize for it.

 

I told her that I need to find a place to live now, and I do. As soon as we agreed to move in together I put in my notice so I have two weeks to get out of me apartment. That doesn’t leave me with too much time. Fuck, and now I’m short two grand since Mexico is paid for. Whatever.

 

Instead of looking for somewhere new to live I put on my shoes so I can head to the bar. I slacked off a little this week and I need to get payroll done. When I get out to the parking lot I freeze when I see Sookie still sitting in her car crying. It takes every ounce of willpower not to run to her and hold her. To tell her I’m sorry for even thinking about arguing over the TV, which led to this fight. I don’t though. If it wasn’t the TV it would’ve been something else and we would’ve ended up in the same spot. Either way, it hurts like a son of a bitch. I love Sookie more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I want to marry Sookie one day; have children with her. Obviously she doesn’t want those things with me or I wouldn’t be standing here holding back the tears that are threatening to spill over as I watch her.

 

I don’t know if she sees me in the ten minutes I stand there watching her, but I eventually make it to my car. I sit back in the seat, dropping my head against the headrest. I replay the fight in my head over and over. I know where I fucked up. I know what I could do to fix it, but now I’m stuck. There is no fixing a break up. She says she needs space, but no woman that’s ever told me they needed space has come back. They always meet someone less… broken. Sadly that’s what I am. No amount of drugs or alcohol or therapy has been able to fix that. Sookie deserves better anyway.

 

When I finally pull out of my spot I know Sookie sees me. We make eye contact when I drive behind her car. Her face is splotchy red. I’m tempted to stop and get out to hold her, but I remember this is what she wanted. What she deserves. She needs to go out and find someone that can… fuck that. I might be a fuck up, but she’s never going to find someone that loves her the way I do. I just… Don’t have the words to make her see it. It doesn’t help that I was completely blindsided by all of this.

 

Instead of going to the bar I end up going to see Grams. I run up to her apartment and knock on the door. I didn’t see the truck Rasul was driving so I assume she’s here alone.

 

“Come in!” she calls out.

 

I walk in and I know by the look on my face she can tell something is wrong.

 

“Hey,” I sigh, closing the door behind me.

 

“Oh no. What did you do?”

 

“Sookie broke up with me.” I stop in her kitchen and grab a can of coke before I go into the living room and plop on the couch next to her.

 

“Why in the hell would she do that?” Grams mutes the TV.

 

“On our second date I she asked if I’ve ever hit a girlfriend. I told her about the time I hit Amanda and she seemed to be okay with it. Today we were arguing about whether or not we should keep the TV in the living room when we move and to prove to her the TV isn’t worth the fucking fight I threw the remote at it. Long story short, she doesn’t trust me not to hurt her.”

 

“Well that’s quite the pickle,” she says.

 

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Her mind was made up when she came to me to tell me it was over. I thought she was different, Grams,” I say, fighting back the tears. “She made me believe she was different and then… this shit.”

 

“She is different or you would be balls deep in some slut from your bar by now,” Grams points out.

 

“She’s not that different if she’s hanging something I did to someone else a lifetime ago over my head.”

 

“You’re a lot to handle, Eric,” she says. “Maybe she just got scared. I don’t think you know how scary you can be sometimes.”

 

“She knows I would never hurt her,” I say, turning to look at Grams. “She knows what she means to me. I don’t hide that.”

 

“Well then she’s just a dramatic little cunt and she did you a favor,” Grams shrugs.

 

“I didn’t want this favor,” I pout.

 

“You have two choices here: let her go or try to get her back.”

 

“How? She’s scared of me.”

 

“Make it so she’s not anymore.”

 

“She’s worried about what I might do in the future. I can promise her all day, everyday that I won’t hurt her, but… She’s stubborn, like you,” I say. I want to curl up in a ball and rock while my Grams hugs me.

 

“What can you do differently to make sure she doesn’t question whether or not she’s safe with you?” Grams asks. “You can’t change her behavior, but you can change yours.”

 

“How do I get her to take the chance and let me show her I’m changing?” I’m not dumb. I know I promised Sookie I wouldn’t throw anything in front of her and then promptly broke that promise. I can tell her again that I won’t throw things, and even keep the promise this time, but I don’t know how to make her give me that chance.

 

“Ask for it, dummy.”

 

Oh.

 

“But–”

 

“Did you even try to talk her out of leaving, or did you just decide you already lost her?”

 

I purse my lips and look down instead of answering her.

 

“I’ll take that to mean you gave up on her too,” Grams says. “You talk a lot about not wanting to be given up on, but you don’t exactly have a track record for dealing well when the shit hits the fan. Now I try not to hold that over your head but sometimes it can’t be avoided. No one likes being reminded of their fuckups and failures. You’re not special there. But if you want her to believe you, you better start walking the walk and not just talking the talk.”

 

“Should I go to her now?” I ask. “I saw her sitting in her car and she looked so… broken.”

 

“Is she where you want to be?”

 

“Yes,” I answer without hesitation.

 

“Then shoot your ego in the balls and go get her,” Grams tells me.

 

“Alright,” I nod. I turn to give Grams a hug before I get up to go find my girl.

 

***

 

Sookie’s car is parked where it was when I left to go see Grams. I came home to shower and change my clothes, but as I walk up to my apartment I freeze in my tracks. Sookie is sitting outside of my apartment looking just as lost as I feel.

 

I slowly finish the trek to my front door, keeping my eyes on hers the whole time. I don’t know what she’s here to say, but I hope to God she’s willing to accept my apology this time.

 

“Hey…” I whisper when I’m about two feet away from her.

 

“I love you. I don’t want to lose you, Eric,” she says as a tear slides down her cheek.

 

I step closer and reach up to wipe the tear away. “I’m so sorry, Angel.”

 

“I know you are,” she nods. “I’m sorry too.”

 

“Do you want to come in?”

 

Sookie nods and starts to get up off the ground. I open the door so we can go inside. Once the door is closed behind us I turn to pull her into my arms, holding her as tight as I can.

 

“I’m so, so sorry, Sookie. I swear I’ll keep that promise if you come back to me,” I whisper against her neck.

 

She nods against me. “I don’t want to be anywhere but here,” Sookie whispers.

 

I lift her up by her thighs and carry her to the couch. I sit down with her on my lap. We stay silent for a long time. I rub her back gently.

 

“I almost lost you,” I say, reaching up to tilt her head toward mine. “Please, please don’t ever scare me like that again, Sookie.”

 

“I won’t,” she says and presses her lips to mine.

 

I kiss her back, holding her head in place. I don’t try to push for anything more than the lingering peck.

 

“I love you, Angel. I love you so, so much.”

 

“I love you too,” Sookie replies and wraps her arms around my neck before her tongue sweeps into my mouth.

 

Oh… I wasn’t expecting this so quick.

 

I keep her head in my hands as my tongue meets hers. I pull back to lick her lips, before sliding my tongue back into her mouth. I still don’t try to push too hard. I slide my hands down her back, moving out to settle on her hips.

 

Sookie grinds against me and says, “I need you, Eric.”

 

“Take your pants off,” I breathe into the kiss. I’m getting hard from the grinding.

 

She reaches down to unzip her jeans and climbs off of me to take them off. Her panties go with them and she peels her top off for good measure. I pull my shirt off and push my jeans down my thighs, kicking them off onto the along with my shoes.

 

“Get back here,” I growl, grabbing her thighs to pull her back onto my lap.

 

Sookie straddles me and captures my lips with hers while her hand wraps around my shaft and begins stroking me.

 

“Put me where you need me,” I moan into the kiss. Her hand feels fantastic.

 

Her hips lift and Sookie rubs my tip through her folds before putting me at her opening. Her pretty eyes lock on mine as she slides down my shaft. I keep my eyes on hers as I thrust up, meeting her as she drops down. I’m not in the mood for slow and sensual. I hold onto her hips so she can’t move and I begin to thrust up hard, making her tits bounce each time I disappear inside of her.

 

“I’m never giving this this up,” I grunt, panting heavily with each deep thrust.

 

“You better not,” she breathes and leans down to bite my nipple.

 

“Mmm, fuck, harder, Sookie,” I pant. I don’t go as hard with her as I like to.

 

She bites me harder and her nails dig into my skin when her pussy begins to pulse around my shaft. I moan louder as I pound into her. I reach up with one hand to rip her head back and I lean forward to bite down on her nipple, tugging with my teeth. I don’t bite as hard as I like it, but the way her pussy grips me tells me she likes it.

 

“Cum,” I breathe, moving to her other nipple to give it the same attention.

 

“Yesyesyesyesyes! Fuuuuuck!” Sookie screams. Her walls grip me ridiculously hard and a fresh wave of her honey drips out of her.

 

“Mmm,” I moan. I flip her onto her back and start pounding harder; my hips slapping against the insides of her thighs. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I pant with each deep stroke. When I cum I slam in one last time, filling her with my hot, sticky release.

 

“Ohmygod,” Sookie moans and her eyes flutter shut.

 

I moan again, swiveling my hips, grinding into her. “Thank you,” I pant. I settle my weight on top of her and begin to suck and kiss her neck, swirling my tongue over her soft skin. She’s salty from the tears that she shed.

 

“Mmm… no, thank you,” she moans. Her arms and legs wrap around me.

 

“Are you still moving in with me? Do you still want to wake up to this everyday?” I ask, giving her a hard thrust.

 

“Oh fuuuu…” Sookie’s back arches. “Yes. Every fucking day.”

 

“More?” I ask, driving in again.

 

“Yes!” Her legs tighten around my waist.

 

“Mmm, no, spread ’em, Angel,” I purr as I grind.

 

Sookie releases me and I hook her legs, folding them up. “Fuck, can you feel how deep I can get like this?”

 

“Yes!” she cries out again.

 

I keep my eyes on her gorgeous face as my hips speed up. I make sure to go in as deep as possible so she can feel every inch of my cock sliding in and out.

 

“Tell me what you want, Angel. I’ll give you anything you want,” I pant.

 

“Fuck me,” she pants. She reaches down and rubs her clit.

 

“That’s what I’m doing,” I smirk, slapping my thighs against her ass. I dip my head to pull her nipple between my lips, nibbling and tugging on it again.

 

If I’d known this morning what kind of shitstorm today would’ve turned into I would’ve just stayed in bed to avoid all the fucking pain and hurt we went through today.

 

SPOV

 

The more I thought about things while I sat in my car, bawling my eyes out, the more ridiculous I felt. Things got blown out of proportion and I realized that I let my disappointment toward Gran taint my decision. The fight about the TV was stupid. I don’t even want to discuss it.

 

Right now all I want to think about is how good Eric’s cock feels while he pounds into me.

 

“Harder, Eric,” I growl. “Fucking own me.”

 

“As you wish,” he growls.

 

He pulls out and for the first time, he manhandles me, flipping me onto my knees so I’m leaning against the back of the couch. He drives into me from behind as hard as he can. So hard I have to grip the cushions in order to stay in place. He slaps my ass with both hands, spreading my cheeks. He begins to massage my back hole with his thumb.

 

“Does owning you include getting to fuck you here?” he asks, digging his fingertips into my flesh.

 

Because I’m curious and because we need to reestablish trust between us I answer, “Yes, it does.”

 

He stops moving. “Are you sure?” he asks, pushing the tip of his thumb into me.

 

“I’m sure,” I breathe. I look over my shoulder and add, “I know you’ll take care of me.”

 

Eric pulls out and helps me to my feet. “Come to the room and get comfortable.”

 

I follow Eric back to his bedroom and climb up on the bed. I lie on my stomach with my legs parted just a bit and watch him move around the room.

 

“Is this okay?” I ask him and grab a pillow to stuff under my head.

 

“Grab those two pillows and stack them up; put them under your hips,” he directs me. He slips into the bathroom and comes out a moment later with a condom and a bottle of lube.

 

I grab two pillows and put them under me as directed. I spread my legs a little wider and reach back to touch myself.

 

“Mmm, good girl. I need you to stay relaxed,” he says as he crawls onto the bed behind me. “Are you still feeling okay?” he asks. He rests his hands on my ass and rubs softly.

 

“Perfect,” I reply.

 

“Keep playing with your pussy, Angel.” I feel Eric squeeze the lube onto my ass, making me twitch when the cool gel hits me. I feel one of his fingers draw light circles around my rear opening before he slides into me. He pumps in and out a few times before he adds a second finger. “Have you gotten used to having my fingers in your ass when I fuck you?” he asks. He usually reaches back to play with my ass when we have sex.

 

“Mmhmmm,” I hum. My fingers move a little faster over my clit. His fingers feel good. Tight, but good.

 

“You know my cock is going to feel very different, right?” he asks. I feel a little more lube and a third finger, slowly pumping in and out.

 

“I know,” I pant. “Just go slow.”

 

I close my eyes and try to stay relaxed as his fingers stretch me. I know it’s going to be a very tight fit for him so I hope he can keep going slow.

 

“I know, Angel,” he whispers. He starts to twist his fingers. He adds a little more lube and says, “Tell me when you’re ready.”

 

I wait until after I make myself cum again to give him the green light. I’m about as relaxed as I’m going to get.

 

“I’m ready,” I tell him.

 

Eric sits up and pulls his fingers out so he can put on the condom. He squirts on more lube. I can hear him stroking himself as well, making sure he’ll be able to slide in with little friction. I feel the head of his cock at my rear entrance, followed by a small amount of pressure before he backs off. He pushes forward again, adding more pressure this time, but once again, he backs off.

 

“Breathe, Angel,” he says as he applies pressure for a third time.

 

“I am.” I’m taking slow, deep breaths to keep relaxed.

 

He doesn’t ease off this time. Eric keeps pressing forward until his head pops into my ass.

 

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. He stops moving and I can hear him taking deep breaths behind me.

 

Tight would be an understatement, but it’s not an uncomfortable feeling, exactly. It’s more like I’m not used to it. His fingers are very different from his cock, that’s for damn sure.

 

“Like that, babe?” I ask.

 

“I love it,” he breathes. Eric starts to push in deeper, breathing harder. “Fuck, Sookie. I’m not going to last… It’s been so fucking long…” He pulls back and pushes in again, giving me slow, shallow thrusts.

 

“You just came an hour ago,” I smirk.

 

“And I have a rubber barrier, but your ass feels way fucking better than I expected.”

 

He grabs the lube and drizzles more onto his cock. This time he goes in deeper, making me gasp. He pulls out and pushes in again, doing this over and over.

 

“Oh sweet baby Jesus in his manger,” I mutter and clutch my pillow. He’s not burying himself inside me, but this is deep enough for now.

 

“Can I go faster?” he asks. He’s been true to his word, staying nice and slow. Her reaches down to push my hand out of the way so he can rub my clit.

 

“Yes,” I moan. “This feels good, Eric.”

 

“Mmm, good,” he replies. He speeds up his thrusts. He slides his fingers to my core and slides two into my pussy. He pumps them in time with his hips. “Goddamn, you feel so fucking good, Sookie. I want to feel you cum.”

 

“Ohmygod,” I moan. I can’t remember ever feeling so full in my fucking life. “More, Eric.”

 

He adds a third finger. He starts fucking me faster; driving in harder.

 

“Fuck! Yes!” he shouts. Eric slams in a few more times before he explodes.

 

“Mmm… good boy,” I moan. Truthfully I was planning on letting him do this in Mexico, so it was just sooner than I expected.

 

“Holy shit. I don’t remember the last time I came like that,” he pants. Eric pulls out and collapses back onto the bed. “Sorry…”

 

“It’s okay.” I roll over. “Happy?”

 

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling right now. My brain is mushy. Fuck. I have to take the condom off but I can’t move.”

 

“Poor thing.” I tickle his thigh.

 

He twitches, but doesn’t try to fight me off. “Sook, I can’t actually move. I think you killed me.”

 

I laugh and roll him onto his side. Getting the condom off without making a mess is a bit tricky but I manage. I get up and take it to the bathroom to throw it away and get cleaned up some. When I get back to the bedroom Eric is still in the same spot.

 

“Hi,” he grins.

 

“Hi.” I lie down next to him. “So I was thinking you can have a giant TV as long as we can go pick one out together.”

 

“Well, I kinda fucked up the last one so I just figured we’d use yours. Then you left me and I was double fucked,” he says. He finally moves, rolling over to throw his arm over my hip.

 

“We can pick out a replacement when we get back from Mexico,” I offer and nibble on his neck.

 

“Okay,” he agrees. “We can keep my bed though, right?”

 

“Yes, we can keep your bed. You should be comfortable at night.”

 

“Thank you,” he smiles. “I like my couch, but I’m not married to it.”

 

“I’m not married to mine either, but I don’t know if I want to get rid of it.” I roll onto my back. “Maybe the Gillespie house isn’t right for us. I love that it has character but you’re right that it needs a lot of work. I don’t know if I want to go through a lengthy renovation.”

 

“Maybe we can save the big renovations for our second house,” he says as he reaches down to stroke my folds. “Maybe when we start thinking about little Erics and Sookies we can look into that.”

 

“Do you want kids?” That’s never come up before, but we should talk about it before we buy a place together.

 

“I do, one day. Maybe before I’m forty.”

 

“So next month?” I tease.

 

“Mmm, nope. That’ll give us at least five years,” he smiles. He dips his finger through my lips to rub my clit.

 

“How many kids do you want?” I ask.

 

“Hmm, two, seven, doesn’t matter. Until we decide we’re done.”

 

I chuckle. “Seven, huh?”

 

“Mmhmm, do you think you can handle seven of my babies?”

 

“Let’s start with one and see what happens,” I tell him.

 

“I do want them with you, though. That’s all that really matters,” he says, dipping to kiss my chin. He slides his fingers back and pushes one into my core.

 

“Haven’t had enough yet?” I spread my legs a little wider for him.

 

“I’m recovering.” He adds a second and starts to slowly pump in and out.

 

“Anything I can do to help?

 

“This is enough,” he whispers and tilts to suck my collarbone. He curls his fingers to rub my sweet spot in slow strokes.

 

“Mmm… you’re trouble, mister,” I moan.

 

Eric strokes me almost to the point of an orgasm before he rolls on top of me and replaces his fingers with his cock. He takes it slower, which I’m thankful for. I want to tell him about Gran but it can wait until tomorrow. Right now is about us and I’m glad I got my head out of my ass before it was too late.