Chapter 21: Keep Us Together

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“Eric, it’s time!” I yell from the living room.

 

“Already?!” he yells back.

 

“Would I make that up?”

 

“Fuck! I’m coming!” I hear the bathroom door open. Eric rushes around the bedroom for a moment before walking into the living room with his shoes on, pulling his shirt over his head.

 

“I already have Lorelei in the car,” I tell him. She’s passed out but it’s her naptime so that’s to be expected. She’ll sleep like the dead the whole way to the hospital. She’s just like her daddy when it comes to sleeping.

 

“You have her snacks for when she wakes up?” He grabs a hoodie to sling over his arm along with the car keys.

 

“Do I look like this is my first day on the job?” I snort. She’s still as serious about her food now as she was when she was in the womb. This kid does not miss meals. Ever. At the age of four she has a very healthy appetite and lucky for me, she’ll eat just about anything I put in front of her. Lately her favorite thing is Goldfish crackers, so I have a bunch of them in the travel bag along with some bottled water and some of her toys to keep her occupied. I refuse to let my barely out of the toddler phase daughter have a tablet to play with. She’s stuck playing with dolls and books like she’s in the Stone Age.

 

“I have to check,” he shrugs. “I feel like it’s part of my job as co-parent.”

 

“I betcha Al’ll pass out before it’s all over with,” I chuckle as Eric follows me out of the house. He locks up behind me. We’re on our way to go meet Alcide and Maria’s twins. They had a little trouble conceiving, but on their second round of IVF she was able to get pregnant. Of the four fertilized eggs that had been implanted, two of them took hold. So they have a son and a daughter ready to come out. They’ll probably be born by the time we get to the hospital at this rate.

 

“That’s if he doesn’t puke before the babies even get here.” Al doesn’t do hospitals very well.

 

“Sissy. We should have made him change more of Lore’s diapers.” Eric is the kind of Dad who was impressed with how frequently his daughter could shit up her back. That is until I started making him wash her in the middle of the night. I was over it after the first time.

 

“He would’ve puked on her,” he snorts as he opens the car door for me. “She probably would’ve tried to play in it, though.”

 

“Well she is your daughter,” I snicker. I get in the passenger’s side and look back at our sleeping child. Her cheeks are rosy and her wheat blonde hair is just past her shoulders. She’s got full, dark lashes and my nose. Her mouth is all Eric, just like the shape of her blue/green eyes. She’s a beautiful little girl. There’s a tiny scar on her brow from the time she ‘fell.’ Eric refuses to admit that he dropped her.

 

“She gets her sense of adventure from me, that’s fine,” he says as he pulls out of the garage. “I honestly don’t know why we have to go. Alcide didn’t come when Butterball was born.”

 

“Because I’m a better friend than he is,” I shrug. Maria wants me there. She’s excited but scared out of her mind that she’s going to break her babies. It’s scary at first. Every time Lorelei cried I was afraid I’d broken her in some way, but she’s obviously fine. It takes some getting used to.

 

Eric reaches over to grab my hand. “You sure you don’t want to try to give her a little sister?” he asks, jerking his head back toward Lorelei.

 

“Do you really want to deal with diapers and midnight feedings or teething again? Remember the teething?” I seriously suggested we put her up for adoption because I was so exhausted. The crying never stopped. It was exasperating.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother. There are things about Lore being a baby that I really miss. I miss those jack-o-lantern grins she used to give me when she woke up from naps. I miss the way her eyes would get big when she figured out she could do new things or discovered a different part of her body she wasn’t really aware of before. I miss the way her tiny body fit perfectly on my chest and how she’d sleep on me for hours. When she started walking I was excited but sad at the same time. It all goes by so damn fast. It’s hard to believe that it’s been four years already but it has.

 

If we do want another one, time is running out.

 

“I think it would be worth it,” he says. Eric lifts my hand to kiss the back.

 

“Do you think our relationship can survive another pregnancy now that we know how crazy I get?” I ask him with a small laugh. Those hormones are a bitch and a half.

 

“As long as you don’t meet another guy on a work trip I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he winks. “I think we’re pretty solid. We can handle it.”

 

It’s true that this is the longest stretch we’ve gone without breaking up in all the years we’ve been together. I don’t know if it’s because of Lorelei or because we finally grew up or what, but we’ve gotten better about working things out instead of just throwing in the towel. That’s not to say we don’t argue and sometimes find we seriously don’t like each other very much, but we stick it out because in the end, we love each other. Plus, I think it’s important for Lorelei to know that it’s normal for parents to argue sometimes.

 

We try not to fight in front of her but she’s not stupid. She can tell when Mommy and Daddy aren’t being friends. When she was two she actually pushed me toward Eric once and said, “Hug.” To her it was just that simple. To appease her, I gave Eric a hug. Wouldn’t you know, that was the start of us working things out? Smart kid.

 

“Okay then I’m not sure I can handle it,” I laugh. “With my luck we’d end up having triplets and we definitely don’t have the room for that.”

 

Last year we bought a place together a few blocks away from the apartment we were living in with the intention of fixing up the place so we could rent out the basement apartment. Being landlords would pretty much mean that our mortgage was paid for us and if we decide to have a second child I’m definitely going to quit my job. As much as I love what I do, I love being a mom more and there’s a lot of time I missed so far in Lorelei’s life because I was too busy with work. And that’s with having cut my hours back drastically from before I got pregnant.

 

“We can always move,” he suggests, “But if you really don’t want anymore, I’m happy with the little angel we have.”

 

“I’ve thought about it,” I admit. “I’m just not sure how I feel about it. Some days I really want to have another kid but then there are days when I’m grateful we only have one. I wish I had more time to really think about it but I’m not getting any younger.”

 

“We could always adopt… it would save you from the crazy hormones and still give us a brand new baby,” he grins.

 

“True. We’d probably have to get married first though. I’m not sure if the adoption agencies have gotten so liberal that they’re cool with placing kids with unmarried parents.”

 

“I don’t have a problem with that either,” he winks. “You know that.”

 

That’s true. He’s proposed to me at least six times in the last four years. It’s always been in some offhanded kind of way and I’ve always said no or rolled my eyes. It’s not really that I would object to being his wife. I mean, I am already just without the official legal recognition. We have a house together and a kid and I’ve been the one washing his drawers for the last five years. I’m his wife.

 

But we don’t share a last name or any of the benefits of married couples. Yet I like the way things are. Things have been working just fine. I can admit that I’m a little afraid of rocking the boat. If it’s not broke don’t fix it, right? Well, it’s not broke.

 

We arrive at the hospital a little while later and I leave it to Eric to get Lorelei out of her booster seat in the back. She’s lanky like her father, plus she’s heavy. That’s what daddies are for, right? I get the travel bag from the back and send Al a text to find out where they are. He quickly responds with the room number but doesn’t tell me if the babies are on the loose yet or not.

 

Lorelei snuggles into Eric as we walk into the hospital. I know if it was up to him he’d have her dressed in a hazmat suit just to be on the safe side. We get on an elevator and go up to the fourth floor. There’s a crazy procedure for getting in to see someone who recently had a baby. Thankfully, Alcide comes out to give us the clearance to get back to see Maria…. and the babies.

 

“Congratulations!” I give him a big hug and even kiss his scruffy cheek. “I’m so excited for you. How’s the missus?”

 

“She’s hanging in there,” he says. He looks as tired as I’m sure Maria is. “She’s exhausted but happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen her.”

 

“Congratulations,” Eric smiles and gives Alcide a half-hug so he doesn’t squish our daughter.

 

“Thanks. Come see. We lucked out. They look like Maria.”

 

We follow Alcide down the hall to Maria’s room. Lorelei is out cold in Eric’s arms with her head resting on his shoulder. He really is a great dad. I never really doubted that he would be. In the beginning it was scary as fuck for both of us. We laugh a lot now at how ridiculous we were over every little when she first came home from the hospital. I quickly realized all of my parenting books were complete bullshit and I was convinced that none of the authors had kids because mine was nothing like theirs.

 

When we get to Maria’s room she’s cuddling two tiny bundles and I have to restrain my squeal. One in a blue hat and the other in pink. They’re precious.

 

“Awww look at how cute you are!” I whisper-yell at Maria as I approach her bed. Her babies are beautiful. Both of them have dark hair like their father and I can tell their daughter has Maria’s face while their son is the spitting image of his daddy.

 

“I was cursing Al’s name about two hours ago,” she giggles. “I’ll offer you one, but you may have to pry it out of my arm.”

 

“I only got to hold them for two minutes before she wanted them back,” Al teases as he takes a seat on the bed next to Maria.

 

“That’s because she’s had to guess what they look like for months. You’ll want her to do all the holding when the poop gets smell to it,” I chuckle.

 

“Oh, Eric warned me,” he snorts.

 

“Lore had one of her shit-tastrophes when Al was over one day. He’s well aware,” Eric smiles.

 

“And now I have two to deal with,” Alcide says.

 

“Just wait until they’re teething,” I snicker.

 

“Babe, Sookie and I are going on vacation during teething. You boys can deal with the kids,” Maria grins.

 

“I second that! I say we take one of those booze cruises in Mexico,” I wink at Maria. “Maybe Mongo will be free…”

 

“Fuckin’ Mongo,” Alcide grumbles. “I know that’s bullshit now.”

 

“Told you so,” Eric laughs.

 

“Only took you like fifty years to get it,” I snort. “So what are these little angels’ names?”

 

“Tyler Robert and Paige Elizabeth,” Maria smiles.

 

“Oooh I like those names much better than Greg and Marcia,” I chuckle. That’s what they were calling them while they were in utero.

 

“We picked them from a hat when I was in labor. We had no clue what we were going to call them. My nurse when we checked in was named Elizabeth,” she chuckles.

 

“I was fine with Thing 1 and Thing 2,” Alcide snorts, making Eric laugh.

 

“Of course you were. I’m surprised you didn’t try to push Shaq and Kobe,” I reply. Lorelei finally starts to wake up a little bit. She does the same grumbling thing Eric does when he doesn’t want to wake up either.

 

Eric rubs her back and kisses her head. “I talked him out of that,” Eric says.

 

“It was a contender.”

 

“You’re crazy,” I laugh and tell Maria, “I’m stealing Tyler from you.”
“If you have to,” she sighs dramatically. She lifts him in my direction.

 

“I’m coming back for your girl child, so get ready,” I warn as I take Tyler from her. He’s so tiny. I know it’s partially because he’s a twin. Maria hung in there pretty well, making it to thirty-eight weeks. Both of her babies are a good size, which is pretty awesome. “Hi little mister. Aren’t you handsome?” I kiss his little face. I might feel an ovary tingle.

 

Eric eyes me with the baby. I can tell he’s hoping I change my mind. We are getting older.

 

“They are pretty cute,” Eric says as he leans over Maria’s shoulder to look at Paige.

 

“They’re the cutest in the world,” Maria argues, earning an arched eyebrow from my baby daddy.

 

“Well, I mean we have our own cutest kid in the world so you know…” I shrug. My kid is right here. Maria’s kids are cute but mine will always be cuter. That’s just the way it rolls.

 

“Mommy, is that our baby?” Lorelei asks quietly.

 

“No, honey, this is Maria’s baby,” I answer. “His name is Tyler. Can you say hi to him?”

 

I step closer so she can get a good look at him. Her eyes study his face and then she looks at Alcide. With a completely straight face she says, “Poor kid.”

 

Eric holds back his laugh as sets Lorelei on her feet. He takes Paige from Maria so he can get a better look at her.

 

“You sure?” he whispers to me.

 

“I might be having second thoughts,” I whisper back.

 

“Can I hold the babies?” Lorelei asks.

 

“As long as you’re sitting on Mom or Dad’s lap you can,” Maria agrees.

 

Eric moves to take a seat on the chair so Lorelei can sit on his lap. He holds Paige out of the way while she climbs onto his lap. He’s patient with her helps her hold the little pink burrito. He makes sure to hold her head under Lorelei’s hand so she doesn’t drop the baby.

 

“She’s little,” Lorelei says.

 

“You were that little once too,” I tell her. She’s seen baby pictures of herself many, many times since they’re all over the house. As I figured she would be, she was born on Halloween at 9:22 in the morning via C-section. She was a little chunker at just over nine pounds.

 

“Only I had a chubby face,” Lorelei corrects me. She did. She had the chubbiest cheeks on the planet. She’s thinned out since then.

 

“It was a cute chubby face,” Eric smiles as he kisses her head.

 

“I’m surprised the kids aren’t chunkier,” Alcide says. Maria ate a ton, just like I did.

 

“No, it all went to my butt,” Maria sighs.

 

“It’s a good thing you married an ass man,” I snort and Lorelei gasps.

 

“Mommy, that’s a bad word. You owe me five.” We’re supposed to put five dollars in her piggy every time we cuss in front of her. This kid is going to be rich long before Eric and I ever are.

 

“Sorry, kiddo. I’ll do it when I get home.”

 

“Mommy, when can we get a baby?” she asks me.

 

“Uhhh… well, it takes a long time to get a baby,” I tell her. Unless you get wasted on Bordeaux…

 

“We’re still talking about it, Butterball,” Eric says.

 

I have to admit that it’s a sweet picture, seeing Eric and Lore with a newborn. Lorelei has asked more than once how come she’s not a big sister. Maybe it’s time we make her one.

 

EPOV

 

“Bedtime, kiddo,” I tell my daughter when I catch her trying to climb the counter to find a pudding cup. She’s thinned out but I still call her Butterball for a reason.

 

“After pudding,” she says. “My tummy is rumbly.”

 

Sookie gave her a bath about an hour ago so she’s running around in her Little Mermaid nightgown with her thick hair in a blonde halo around her head. She’s a beautiful girl. I don’t think I’m biased because she’s mine either.

 

“And it’s rumbly for pudding?” We only buy sugar free so she’s not up at all hours of the night. She had a big day hanging out with the new babies so I feel like she deserves a treat. Sookie’s going to call me a pushover.

 

I walk over to get the pudding down for her, grabbing a spoon as she takes a seat on the counter. She uses her long limbs to her advantage.

 

“My tummy always has room for pudding,” Lorelei reasons.

 

I shake my head as I rip the top off for her.

 

“You’re lucky I’m a sucker for your pretty face,” I smile as I give her the pudding. I spoil her, I admit it.

 

“I’m lucky Mommy’s busy in her room,” she giggles and digs into her pudding.

 

“You know she always knows when we sneak into the pudding, right?” I grab my own cup and lean against the counter next to her.

 

“It’s because you’re not sneaky,” my daughter tells me.

 

“I am too sneaky,” I argue. “But we both smell like chocolate when she gives us goodnight kisses.”

 

“Yeah, that too.” Lorelei will also have a pudding goatee that needs to be wiped off her face.

 

I chuckle as I kill my pudding in four bites. I have a plan and I need Lorelei in bed before I put it into action. While she finishes her snack I clean up the kitchen we didn’t get to when Alcide called earlier to tell us to come see the babies.

 

As soon as Lorelei is done I help her down and wipe off her face with a paper towel.

 

“Come on, let’s go say goodnight to Mommy.” I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder.

 

“But I’m not tired yet,” Lorelei giggles.

 

“Then you get to lie down and watch your movies until you fall asleep. It’s way past your bedtime, Butterball.” I start to walk up the stairs with her.

 

“Nuh uh! The big hand is only by the nine,” she argues.

 

“Who taught you how to read a clock?” I chuckle. I walk into my bedroom to find Sookie sitting on the bed, lotioning her legs after her own bath.

 

“Mommy teached me,” Lorelei answers.

 

“What did I teach you?” Sookie asks her and tilts her head up to give Butterball her goodnight kiss.

 

“How to read the clock.”

 

“She’s arguing that it’s not bedtime,” I tell Sookie.

 

“The big hand is by the nine,” Lorelei repeats.

 

“I know, but the little hand is by the ten and the little hand tells us the hour, remember? Lorelei’s bedtime has the little hand by the eight,” Sookie reminds her, earning her a huff.

 

“But I’m not tired yet. I liked playing with the babies today. Can’t we go to the hospital and get one?”

 

“Nope, not anytime soon,” I tell her. “Maybe one day we will, though.”

 

“Awww no fair,” she pouts. “How come Maria got two babies and you only got one?”

 

I look at Sookie to field that one.

 

“Because when Maria and Al decided they wanted to be parents they had a hard time getting a baby to grow in Maria’s tummy like you grew in Mommy’s tummy, so a doctor had to help make sure the baby stayed in her tummy. He put two in there so one wouldn’t get lonely,” Sookie explains.

 

“Was I lonely in your tummy?” Lorelei asks.

 

“Nope. Daddy talked to you all the time,” she answers.

 

“I did,” I confirm. “I would read you stories and tell you all about my days at work.” Her first word really was fuck thanks to me.

 

“So how come we don’t have another baby?” Lorelei asks us.

 

“Sookie?” I’ve been trying to get her to have another one since Maria and Al started trying. I love being a dad way more than I ever expected.

 

“How many babies should we have?” Sookie asks.

 

“Mmm… I think thirty-seven,” Lorelei answers.

 

“I think you’re going to need to get a job to help us buy food for all those babies,” I chuckle.

 

“I can hula hoop!” Lorelei says excitedly. She just learned how to in school. “Pleeeease can we get a baby, Mommy?” Lorelei gives her the sad puppy face.

 

“You’re a little stinker,” Sookie laughs. “Are you sure you want to be a big sister? You’ll have to share your toys and help Mommy change the stinky diapers or make the bottles. It’s a pretty big job.”

 

“I’m sure,” Lorelei answers. “I’ll like having someone to play with. Daddy won’t play princesses with me.”

 

“What if you have a brother that doesn’t like to play princesses?” I ask.

 

“I’m gonna have a girl baby,” Lorelei informs us.

 

“Well the first step to getting a baby is getting a good night’s sleep and having a dream of the baby,” Sookie tells her.

 

“Give Mommy another kiss and I’ll take you to bed.” I hold Lorelei out to give Sookie a final kiss goodnight.

 

“Goodnight, Mommy. I love you,” Lorelei says.

 

“I love you too. Sweet dreams,” Sookie replies and gives our daughter kisses on each cheek before releasing her.

 

I carry our daughter to her room and plop her in her bed.

 

“Want me to turn on your movie?” I ask as I pull her blanket over her tiny body.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

I walk over to the TV to turn it on and hit play on her DVD. She’s a fan of everything Disney. Currently she’s on a Beauty and the Beast kick. I move back to her bed and bend down to kiss her forehead.

 

“I love you,” I whisper. “Sleep well, my Butterball.”

 

“Goodnight, Daddy.” She yawns big. She’ll be out in less than ten minutes.

 

I walk out of her room, flipping the light off when I go. I leave the door cracked before I walk down the hallway to our room.

 

“Hey,” I smile when I get to the bedroom. Sookie is leaning against the headboard with her feet kicked out. I close the door behind me and make a pit stop at my dresser to grab the little red box that’s been sitting under my socks for the last six months. Since the last time she refused my marriage proposal. I want her to know I’m serious this time, so I finally bought the ring she deserves.

 

“Hi,” she smiles. Sookie slouches down a little and says, “I think we should do it.”

 

“As in have another baby?” I slip the ring into my pocket and pull my T-shirt over my head. As promised, I got Lorelei’s footprints tattooed over my heart. There’s room for more.

 

“Yeah. I want Lorelei to know what it’s like to love and hate someone at the same time but know he or she will always have her back. It’s kind of cute that she thinks it’s like picking out a puppy,” she chuckles.

 

“Mmm, yeah, it is,” I smile. I lie down on the bed next to her, propping myself up on my elbow. “How about this,” I start. “You make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife and we can have all the babies you and Lorelei want.” I reach into my pocket to pull the box out to show her.

 

“Okay, but I don’t think that ring is going to fit Dave–”

 

I stop her with a deep, rumbly growl as I shift to roll her under me.

 

“It’s going to fit you perfectly,” I tell her.

 

“Well in that case…” Sookie takes the ring out of the box and slides it on her finger. Perfect. “Looks like you got yourself a fiancé.”

 

“Thank you,” I whisper. I tilt my head to give her a long, lingering kiss. When I pull back I add, “I’ve wanted you to be my wife for over a decade, I knew we weren’t ready, though. I love you so much, Sookie.”

 

“I love you too,” she replies.

 

“Should we practice making more babies?” I kiss her again. This time I end it by nipping her bottom lip.

 

“That sounds like a great idea.”

 

I smile down at her as we shift a little more. I honestly can’t believe she said yes so easily. I thought even with the ring she’d shrug it off or tell me I’m still crazy for wanting to ruin something that works just fine how it is. It’s not important to her, but to me, it is. I don’t know how to show her I love her anymore than I do. I have my family; I just want her to share my name. She doesn’t argue when people call her Mrs. Northman now. She finally agreed to make it legal… That doesn’t mean it’s going to happen anytime soon.

 

I work my old T-shirt up her sides. She lifts enough for me to slip it over her head. She’s on the shot still so I know it’s going to take a little while to get pregnant again. I’m perfectly fine with that. The practice is fun, and sometimes interesting if the mood strikes while Butterball is still awake.

 

Sookie’s hand goes to unbutton my jeans. I stand up long enough to drop my jeans and lock the door in case Lorelei isn’t asleep yet. I’m sure she is. She can deny she’s tired all evening and then be knocked out within five minutes. She takes after me that way. I just hope our next little stinker is the same way.

 

I’m starting to get hard, so I reach down to stroke my cock as my eyes rake over Sookie’s naked body. She looks different since the baby. She probably thinks I’m crazy, but she’s even more gorgeous to me. Every single stretch mark on her skin is there because she was growing my perfect little angel down the hall. Sookie has given me the best gift anyone can give. She’s given me a chance to prove to myself that I can be a good father without having my own role model. I wasn’t sure I would be any good at it, but being Lorelei’s dad and Sookie’s partner have been my two biggest accomplishments.

 

I climb onto the bed, hovering over my new fiancé.

 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” I smile as I dip to kiss her neck. My growing erection rubs over her thigh, dragging a line of pre-cum along her smooth skin.

 

“Since when?” she giggles and moves her head to the side to give me more room. Sookie reaches down to stroke me while my lips move along her neck.

 

“Since I want to devour every inch of you and we know we have to be up early,” I purr, trailing wet kisses up to her ear. I suck lightly before tugging with my teeth.

 

“I can think of a few places to start,” she says in a breathy voice and turns her head to kiss me.

 

I rock my hips to help her as she strokes me. Our kiss stays slow and passionate. I can think of several places to start as well. I reach down to rub her mound, making Sookie moan into the kiss. I’m just about to move my fingers down to toy with her clit when we hear the bedroom door handle jiggle.

 

Fuck…

 

“This is not happening,” I groan almost to myself.

 

“Daddy, the monsters are back!” Lorelei yells.

 

“You didn’t put The Wizard of Oz on again, did you?” Sookie pants.

 

“No, fuckin’ Beauty and the Beast,” I grumble. I look back so I’m not yelling in Sookie’s face. “I’ll be right there, Butterball,” I call.

 

“Want me to go?” Sookie offers.

 

“That might be best. I don’t want to put an eye out.” I’m starting to go soft, so it should be an issue. We both know when the monsters are hanging around Sookie usually doesn’t do. I’ve had to come home from the bar to clear the room for her before.

 

I climb off of Sookie and go to my dresser to get some sleep pants while Sookie puts my old T-shirt on again.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she promises and gives me one of those coming home from war kisses before leaving the room to go chase away Lorelei’s monsters.

 

I groan as I watch her ass move under the shirt. Still the best ass in the world. It has been for over fifteen years. I plop on the bed as I hear Sookie and Lorelei talking. I can’t hear what they’re saying but poor Lore sounds like she’s about to cry. I get up to follow them now that my erection is long gone. When I get to the room Lorelei is sitting on her bed and Sookie is peeking into the closest.

 

“Any monsters, Sook?” I ask as I lean in the doorway. My daughter gives me that look she gives me when she wants to sleep in our room. No… not happening tonight.

 

Sookie reaches into the closet to check and says, “I don’t think– oh no! It got me! Lorelei, quick, get the monster light!” It’s just a little pink flashlight we keep by her bed.

 

Lorelei gets the light but I can tell it’s making her nervous to go over there. She turns the light on and moves on her tiptoes over to the closet.

 

“Get him with the light, Lore!” Sookie instructs and scoots over so Lorelei can shine the light in the closet. As soon as she does, Sookie pulls her arm back. “Whew, you got him! Thanks, baby.”

 

“Good job saving Mom, Butterball,” I smile from my spot.

 

“How come they always come back?” Lorelei asks with a wibbly lip.

 

“Well that’s why you have your flashlight. The monsters always go away when you put light on them, right?” Sookie asks and Lorelei’s blonde head bobs up and down. “So anytime those mean old monsters try to mess with you, you just get ‘em right in the face with your light and they’ll go away. Should we check the other rooms in the house and make sure there are no more monsters?”

 

More nodding from Lorelei.

 

“Okay. Come on, I’ll go monster hunting with you. There’s nothing to be afraid of, baby. You’re tougher than them,” Sookie promises Lorelei. “You hold the flashlight and I’ll open the doors, okay?”

 

Lorelei comes straight to me and asks me to pick her up. She doesn’t want any ground monsters to get her. Like the sucker I am, I do it.

 

“Alright, you’re safe just in case you miss one with your light,” I tell her. “Lead the way, Mama Bear.”

 

“Oh sure, you get the climb the tree and I have to fight ground monsters,” Sookie giggles and gives me a wink. She’ll be climbing me soon enough.

 

“You can hop on my back,” I chuckle. “I can be like Fezzik when he climbs the cliffs of insanity.” I’ve been working out with Jason the last few years. He’s laid off of the steroids, but he’s still a meathead.

 

“Oh I’ll be hopping on, but you’ll have to wait,” Sookie says as she saunters out of the bedroom. Lorelei’s too freaked out by her monsters to catch on.

 

I shake my head and try to take my eyes off of her ass. I smile when I see the light glint off of the ring. Lorelei doesn’t understand that mommy and daddy are living in sin. She doesn’t even care. We’re both here, we both love her, and that’s all she cares about. I’ll explain it to her later. For now my little family is on a monster hunt. I’m keeping my Butterball safe in my arms and my future wife is adorably creeping through the house so we can sneak up on any monsters. This is a once a week thing. I love it. I’m pissed that Lore cockblocked me, but it’s worth it to make sure she sleeps peacefully. I’m happy. I’ve been happy since Sookie walked into my office that day to give me her house key. It took us a while, but we finally figured out how to make us work.