Chapter 1

 

I love and hate being a call center supervisor. I love it because I’m not always taking calls like I used to. I’m not always great with people, and I hate it because my fucking employees are just as dumb as customers half the time. That’s if they even show up to work. I also love having a set schedule. It makes it easy to make weekend plans. Like this weekend my roommate, Jake and I are going to the lake to scope out chicks in bikinis and work on our beer guts.

 

Jake and I have been friends since we were ten when my family moved into the house next door to his. We got in a fight over a ball the first time we met, but we’ve been like brothers since. It’s nice having someone so close since I’m an only child.

 

When I walk into the house after work, Jake is lounging on the couch, since it’s well past seven and he’s in construction, with his feet on the coffee table. He has on one of those hot rod shows that I don’t pay attention to and there’s a McDonald’s bag on couch next to him. Lovely.

 

“You know that shit it the reason your gut hangs over your belt, right?” I ask, motioning to the bag. I say I have a beer gut, but in truth I work out at the onsite gym at my job before work and during lunch. Plus, I rarely eat fast food. That shit’ll kill ya.

 

“Your point?” Jake belches loudly.

 

Somehow, this dweeb has a girlfriend and I don’t.

 

“You’re going to die at a very young age,” I chuckle as I start to unbutton my work shirt. Thankfully I don’t have to wear a tie, but they like us to look professional.

 

“Thanks, Ma.”

 

I shrug and go into my room to change into some basketball shorts. It’s Thursday, and I’m more than ready for the weekend. I know Jake hasn’t checked the mail because he does jack shit around here, so I put on some flip flops and walk back out to go down to the mailbox. The chick from 3B is there, like she is every night, checking her mail too. I don’t know her name, but she scans my chest every time she sees me.

 

“Hello,” I smile politely as I open my mailbox.

 

“Hi,” she replies without looking at me.

 

I reach into my mailbox and pull out a stack of crap mailers. As I go through I find one of Jake’s Hustler magazines and a letter with my name hand written on the front.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I chuckle at the girl. She’s cute, but I don’t want to be too forward and ask her if she has a boyfriend.

 

“See ya,” she smiles.

 

I take my time walking back to my apartment. It’s a nice night and the cool breeze feels good. When I finally do get back I toss Jake’s magazine at him. I go into the kitchen and filter through the keepable mail, while tossing the rest in the trash. When I finally open the letter hand addressed to me I chuckle. I forgot this was coming up. Our ten year high school reunion. Looks like it’s going to be in a little over a month.

 

“Dude, wanna go to our high school reunion?” I call from the kitchen while I pull the chicken I had marinating from the fridge.

 

“Not reee– Holy shit. Dude, get in here!”

 

Okay…

 

I set the chicken down and walk into the living room. Jake has his magazine open with his eyes wide and mouth agape.

 

“What?”

 

“What was the name of that flat chick you wanted to marry in high school?” Jake asks.

 

I roll my eyes. I had a crush, a huge one, but it was just a crush on Sookie Stackhouse.

 

“Sookie, why?”

 

“Is this her?” He hands me the Hustler.

 

I take it from him and study the very naked, very open blonde in the picture. Once I tear my eyes off of her pussy I scan up her body to her tits. They’re nice. There’s no way this is…

 

“Holy shitcakes,” I breathe. I would never forget that face. I glance back at her tits. They’re very real too. “She fuckin’… holy fuck.” I’m stunned.

 

“Gimme.” Jake tries to take the magazine back but fuck that.

 

“No.” I raise it up so he can’t grab it. I take in every inch of her face before making my way down her body again. She’s just as beautiful now, if not more so, than she was when we graduated. I don’t know why I never talked to her. I stared at her enough, Jesus. Jake is wrong. I didn’t want to marry her, but I wanted to do a lot of filthy things to her, and this picture isn’t helping. “Wanna go to the reunion now?” I ask.

 

“Dude, do you seriously think she’ll be there? I’m sure she’ll be shooting her next feature with that Helena chick you’ve drooled over,” he says.

 

“There’s only one way to find out,” I chuckle.

 

I don’t watch a lot of porn, but I watch enough and I would know if I saw Sookie Stackhouse in a movie. She was the type of girl that no one disliked. She was sweet to everyone she came in contact with. She was smart, graduated top of our class, and had the body of a fuckin’ twelve-year-old boy. I wasn’t attracted to her for her body though. It was the way she smiled at people and the kind things I heard about her. I remember she had an infectious laugh. To me she was like fuckin’ Cinderella or some shit with birds and squirrels always floating around her while she walked through campus. I was a dumb jock. In my mind I wasn’t good enough to ask her out. Sure, I could’ve had any girl in the school I wanted, but it was Sookie that took root in my dreams. She’s a fuckin’ knock out now. I don’t know if she’s still as sweet, but something tells me she is. There’s something in her eyes that screams sweet, innocent Sookie Stackhouse, not… Dahlia, as the page reads.

 

“Go for it, bro. Let me know how it turns out. No syphilis on the couch.”

 

“Fuck you,” I snort. I don’t know much about porn stars, but she has to get tested regularly. “Even if she is there, I’ll probably be too chickenshit to ask her out.”

 

“Your mom will shit a unicorn if you do.”

 

“Mom will ask me if I can get her to quit porn so she can pop out grandbabies for her,” I laugh. Mom has been trying to set up on dates for years now, hoping I meet The One.

 

“Well you know the sex is guaranteed,” he smirks.

 

“You are such a fuckin’ pig. How does Melinda put up with your ass?” Just because she stars in pornographic movies, it doesn’t mean she’s easy in real life.

 

“I’m great in bed,” he shrugs.

 

“That has to be it. You do realize that just because Sookie does porn for a living, that doesn’t mean she’s going to open her legs for just anyone.” I need to look up some of her work. Maybe not. Fuck.

 

“She might,” he shrugs again.

 

“If she’s there, I’m not going to test that theory.” Unless she comes on to me. I doubt she even knows who I am. Fuck again. I haven’t seen this girl in ten years and just the thought that I might get to see her for one night makes my damn heart race. I’m getting all jittery inside thinking about it.

 

“If you spray on me you’re moving out.”

 

I shake my head and walk out of the living room with his magazine in hand. I lean against the counter and flip through some of the other pictures. They’re all pretty racy, but I’m not worried about that. I find the article with an interview with her to see if I can learn anything about the girl Sookie is now. The questions and answers are all superficial. The answers seem canned. The only one I actually care about is when she’s asked if she’s single and what she looks for in a guy.

 

She’s single. She likes funny guys who can carry on a conversation about more than her tits. Must be a coffee drinker and he has to be okay with her puppy named Edith.

 

I can be that guy. Hell, I didn’t even know she had tits until this magazine. I love coffee; it’s a prerequisite for working in a call center. Ugh. I can’t have these thoughts. I’m just going to come off creepy if she does show up at the reunion. I don’t know if I’m good with dogs though. I don’t dislike them so as long as her puppy is fine with me I’m more than okay with her. I need to stop thinking like this. I haven’t thought of Sookie Stackhouse in close to a decade. Nothing has changed. I’m still semi-quiet, unless I’m drunk, and work a boring nine to five that I have to drive an hour to get to. She won’t want anything to do with me.

 

SPOV

 

“Will you please stop giving her table food straight from the table? I don’t want her begging,” I tell Sam for the hundredth time. He’s my ex but our lease isn’t up yet and I’m not sure if I want to stay down here or move back home to South Lake Tahoe.

 

“Yeah,” he answers for the hundredth time, which means he’s not going to stop.

 

I sigh heavily and get up to take my plate to the kitchen. The mail is sitting on the counter. I need to go through it. I got back this morning from a shoot out in the desert that took the last three days. Sam knew when he met me what I do for a living, but a year into our relationship he decided he wanted me to give up the industry for him. He wants a wife and mother for his kids. I’m not sure I want to be either of those things. So we’re still living together but my work takes me all over the place for days at a time.

 

Getting into porn wasn’t the plan. I was working as an intern for a record label when I met Trey Dawson, lead singing for an up and coming rock band. Their big break was being sent out on tour with Godsmack. Trey was charming, sexy and everything Daddy told me to stay away from. Of course I slept with him, but I wasn’t aware he was filming it. The tape “leaked” on the web and it caused some controversy with the label. I was fired as a result, but I was given a hefty settlement so I wouldn’t take Trey to court.

 

The tape caught the eyes of a few directors and representatives for the various adult film production companies and I had offers coming at me from all angles. I battled with myself over the decision of whether or not to go for it. I can admit that I’m guilty of assuming that most female porn stars have a history of drug/alcohol abuse to cover the shame of sexual abuse. None of my family members – or anyone else – ever molested me. I tried weed a few times but nothing harder than that. Caffeine is my drug of choice and even that is limited to double shots of espresso. I prefer sleep to sucking down energy drinks all day long.

 

I talked it over with my dad and he promised to love and support me no matter what. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with my decision to go ahead and give it a try, but he trusted me enough to let me go. I think the craziest thing now is making sure he doesn’t see any of my work on accident. I make sure that both he and my brother know the name of every project I’m in.

 

After I scrape my plate and get it rinsed, I look at the stack of mail. Fan letters go to my management team and I usually throw away the mailers I get every week. Most of my bills go to my email, except the electric bill. Edith starts to nuzzle my legs which means my puppy needs to piddle. Before I take her out though, I use a steak knife to open a hand addressed envelope, postmarked by South Lake Tahoe.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I mutter as Sam comes into the kitchen. My ten year reunion. I completely forgot about it.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Reunion invite,” I reply. “It’s in three weeks.”

 

“As in high school reunion?” I nod. “You gonna go?”

 

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

 

“Ah, why not. I’m sure it’ll be fun. You can visit your dad while you’re up there,” he says as he rinses his plate.

 

“Maybe. I have to check my schedule,” I shrug. Edith growls, signifying that it’s time to go before she redecorates the travertine tile.

 

“I’ll go as your date if you want,” he offers.

 

“Thanks, but I think if I go I’ll be fine by myself. It would be weird to bring my ex.”

 

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “They don’t have to know I’m your ex. I can be a good buffer if anyone flirts with you that you don’t want.”

 

“I can handle it, Sam,” I assure him. I seem sweet but I can be a big bitch when I need to be.

 

“The offer stands,” he shrugs. “Any old friends you’re looking forward to seeing?”

 

“Not really. I’m sure everyone there thinks I’m a strung out coke whore.” I grab Edith’s leash, sending her into a tizzy.

 

“It’s South Lake Tahoe; do you really think they have room to talk? Most of them will be on meth anyway,” he snorts.

 

“All the more reason not to go.” I get the leash clipped onto Edith’s collar. “If you want the place to yourself just say so, Sam,” I tease.

 

“You know it’s not that,” he says. “I think it would be fun. I didn’t get to go to mine and I kinda regret it.”

 

“You didn’t turn out to be a pornstar either,” I snicker. I’m not ashamed of what I do. I enjoy it and I’m good at it. I know I can’t do it forever so I’m getting from it what I can, while I can, before that cruel bitch gravity takes over.

 

“How many people really know what you do? None of them may even know.”

 

“Oh I’m sure they know. Don’t worry about it, Sam. I doubt I’ll be missing anything,” I tell him before I step outside with Edith. She goes running for her favorite spot to pee while I text me brother.

 

Me: 10 yr reunion in 3 weeks. Should I go?

 

Jase: Hell yeah! I need to know if Dawn still looks good.

 

Me: Why that old slag? She looked like she was 40 ten years ago.

 

Jase: She did not. She was flexible too.

 

Me: So is a blowup doll and it’s twice as smart.

 

Jase: Smarts ain’t never mattered to me.

 

 

Me: I’m not going to see if that old whore’s beef curtains are down to her knees.

 

Jase: You don’t have to look under her skirt. Jesus Sook. Just tell me if her tits have started sagging yet.

 

Me: Get a pair of binoculars and find out yourself.

 

Jase: Fine. Then come to town to see me. I miss ya and you don’t need to hang out with Sam all the time.

 

That is a selling point. I love Sam as a friend but he gets possessive if I bring men around the house. In some ways he’s just being protective but I also know he’s trying to get me to change my mind.

 

Me: I’ll bring Edith. She’s up to 40 lbs.

 

Jase: Sweet!

 

Well, I guess I’m going home for the reunion.

 

After Edith does her business I take her inside and call my manager to let her know I’m unavailable for the week of the reunion. I’ll be driving up and back but a few days off will be nice. Sophie-Anne is a decent manager but she can be pushy.

 

“Sookie, to what do I owe the pleasure?” she answers.

 

“I have to blackout a week coming up,” I tell her. I know filming is supposed to start soon on a new project but it’s after the reunion. Thankfully porn shoots don’t really need me for wardrobe fittings or anything. Plus I’ve shot with Preston before.

 

“Which week?”

 

“From the twentieth until the twenty-seventh,” I say. “I have to go up to Tahoe.”

 

“Oh? What’s going on in Tahoe?”

 

“High school reunion,” I reply. “Plus my brother wants to see me and Edith could use some room to run around. I also want to look at houses up there.”

 

“Alright. Let me know as soon as you come home. We need to meet for lunch or something,” she says.

 

“Okay. I can do that.” I’m guessing my contract is up with the production company. That’s about the only time she wants to meet for lunch.

 

I get off the phone with her and then start walking with Edith. She was a Christmas present from my dad. Despite the reputation for being vicious, Edith is a sweetheart and a bit of a dingbat, hence her name. She’s heavy but thinks she’s a lapdog anyway. It’s funny to me when people go out of their way to avoid her, like I’d have her out and roaming around if she was going to hurt someone. She’s a big baby.

 

It’ll be nice to go home though. I haven’t been to Tahoe since Dad’s birthday in March. I’m glad he’s finally got a girlfriend to share his life with. My mom died when I was six in a skiing accident. Dad stayed single until about three years ago when he met Judith. I like her a lot. She’s been good for my dad and it’s obvious he’s happy, so I’m happy for him.

 

By the time Edith and I get home the sun is setting. I’m going to have to go dress shopping for the reunion. For that, I’m going to have to call Lafayette because he never steers me wrong. That bitch will have me looking almost as fabulous as him.